More parenting tidbits rewrite

More Tips For Parenting

* Diapers: Most babies that are fed using the PDF method usually need a diaper change at each feeding time. This means that your baby will need about 6-8 diapers a day or more. Many new parents time the diaper changes with the after dinner bowel movement, but if you miss it, you will just have a few more diapers to change during the day.

* Diaper rash: Sensitive skin is a common problem for some babies and they may get a diaper rash due to a food allergy, yeast infection, sitting too long in a wet or messy diaper, or teething. If you notice your baby beginning to get a diaper rash, talk to your pediatrician about which diaper rash medicine will work for your baby.

* Growth spurts: Growth spurts can start as early as 10 days after your baby’s birth. Growth spurts usually are preceded by a sleepy, lethargic day and a big jump in appetite. Growth spurts may happen again at 3, 6, and 12 weeks and again at 4 and 6 months. If you begin to notice that your child is not as satisfied with the amount that you have been feeding her previously, then she may be beginning a growth spurt period. If you are breastfeeding, you may want to add a feeding or two to satiate your baby’s appetite and to help increase milk production.

* Immunizations: With all of the conflicting reports on immunizations, you may be unsure about whether or not you want your child to receive immunizations. I think that there are simply too many fatal diseases that can be prevented by immunizing your baby to take the chance. If you are unsure, then you need to talk with your pediatrician, but understand that the reason that the infant mortality rate is so low in this country is because immunizations are routinely done.

* Pacifiers & thumb sucking: If you breastfeed, do not allow your child to use you as their pacifier. If your baby seems to have a need to suck beyond eating, then you need to give them a pacifier. There is no “nipple confusion” between a breast nipple and a pacifier as they are very different in feel and taste. Babies will know the difference between the two. Some children do not want a pacifier but will suck on their thumb. If you don’t have a problem with it, then let them.

* Spitting up: It is very common for babies to spit up, but some babies do it more than others. If your baby is growing normally, then there is no need to worry about it. Projectile throwing up is not the same as spitting up. Projectile throwing up is a violent reaction to reject the contents of the stomach and not just “burping” up a little milk. If your baby does this frequently, consult your pediatrician.

What to do if your child has chicken pox

Chicken pox is a common affliction that affects people of all ages but is most commonly seen in children. The symptoms of chicken pox are red bumps on the body that turn into blisters and that increase in quantity over several days. The bumps may look like insect bites or a rash and is often difficult to diagnose the first few days. Often, it is accompanied by a fever. Watch the bumps to see if they turn into blisters and if more bumps emerge over a few days. If so, it is likely chicken pox.

Most cases of chicken pox do not even need a consultation with a physician and are easily treatable. However there are times when consulting a doctor is advisable. If after three days you are still unsure of the diagnosis, consult a doctor. If the child is an infant, you should bring the child in for diagnosis. If your child’s bumps seem infected or are located on eyelids, it is best to get it checked. Also, if your child seems unusually ill, has severe headaches, a high fever that lasts more than five days, or if the child develops other cold like symptoms such as a cough a doctor’s opinion should be sought.

Chicken pox is highly contagious and the child should be quarantined for the duration. Do not allow the child to interact with peers at school or with friends. Once the child starts getting spots, it will take approximately seven days until he or she is no longer contagious. The day after all the spots have scabbed, the child will no longer be contagious and can resume normal activity.

The accompanying fever should only be treated if it is above 101° F. Studies indicate a slight fever will help the child heal. Motrin, Advil or Tylenol can be used to treat the fever. Use only acetaminophen and ibuprofen products for fever but do not use aspirin. A child can have a severe reaction to aspirin during this time so it is important not to use it.

The child should try not to scratch the bumps because it may cause infection. Take greater care to keep the fingernails short and clean during this time. Frequent baths will help soothe the itching. Adding oatmeal to the bath will also help. Brands such as Aveeno are ideal for this. Benadryl or other off-brand topical antihistamines can be used as needed and greatly reduce the itching. These are readily available over-the-counter at any pharmacy.

Children who have chicken pox and who have a slight fever but otherwise seem well typically do not need to see a doctor. Ensure they stay isolated until the ailment passes and they are no longer contagious. See a doctor if unusual symptoms occur or if the child seems very ill. Chicken pox is a common ailment, easily treated, and quickly recovered from. Most people only get one case of chicken pox in a lifetime.

Time for baby shower fun and games

title:Time For Baby Shower Fun And Games!

author:Stephen Kreutzer

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_840.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



When you create the guest list for your baby shower, you will probably see that you have gathered together an eclectic group of family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, church friends – most of whom won’t know each other! The best way to break the ice is to play a few baby shower games and get everyone laughing and comfortable.

Baby Shower Game - How Much Does It Cost?

From the local grocery store or drug store, gather together a grab bag of baby items – wipes, diapers, baby food, lotion, baby wash – and keep the receipt. When you get home, print up lists of everything in the bag, one for each guest, and leave a space for them to guess the price of each item. Everyone at the baby shower guesses the cost of each item and whomever comes closest to the correct total, wins a prize. The shopping bag, of course, goes to the mom to be.

Baby Shower Game 2 – Primetime Parenting

What are your family’s favorite shows? Is it re-runs of Roseanne and Bewitched or the latest primetime sitcoms? For your baby shower, make a list of your favorite shows, leaving the correct number of blanks for the number of children in each show. Each guest at the shower tries to fill in all the blanks (correctly!) and the one with the most right answers, get a prize!

Baby Shower Game 3 – Feeding Time

If you’re having a hard time drawing the guy’s interest in your baby shower, try the Feeding Time game. Fill up one 4 ounce bottle for each male at the baby shower with a palatable drink, like juice. On your mark, each guy will drink from his bottle and not stop until it’s empty. Keep a stopwatch if you like or simply watch closely to see who finishes first. The one who does gets a prize!

Baby Shower Game 4 – Now I Know My ABCs…

On an index card or pieces of construction paper, write down one letter of the alphabet until you have a card for each letter. Each of the guests at your baby shower will pick a baby item that starts with their letter and turn it in to the host. Everyone guesses which item was chosen and the first one to answer correctly gets the card. The guest with the most cards at the end of the alphabet wins the game!

No matter what games you choose to play, make sure that everyone is included. A baby shower isn’t a party until everyone is laughing!

Thrifty but unique holiday gift ideas for young children

title:Thrifty (but Unique) Holiday Gift Ideas for Young Children

author:Dian Dewi

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_219.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



It’s December, and as the holiday season drew closer, you found your preschooler saying this to you, “Mom, I want this and that toy …My friend is going to get those from his mom. ”

When you went and checked the price online, you were shocked with the price. You couldn’t believe that a child toy can be that expensive. To make things even worse, you doubted that those toys would make a good buy and did not feel good about giving them to your precious little one.

Does this situation sound familiar to you ?

If your answer is yes, don’t despair ! Chances are , almost every parent, have come across this situation. In one hand, you want to make your children happy, but in the other hand, you know that you dislike those toys and buying those expensive toys will definitely create a huge dent in your pocket.

The question is, how are you going to deal with this situation ?

These are some strategy you can use to deal with this situation and at the same time dramatically decrease your spending on toy and other gifts during the holiday season. The key are: skillful budgeting, advance planning and creativity.

To begin with, figure out your budget for each child. If you don't like your child's choices of toys, you can do either of these followings: not buying the toys that your children want, but replacing them with toys that you know your children will definitely like. buying one toy that your children want, and add some more toys of your choice.

To find out which toys are the best buys , I suggest you to jot down previous toys your children got during the holiday celebration. Make note on how often those toys are used and the estimated price. By doing this, you can roughly determine the cost of use for each toy. You may find that something like board games or construction toys are the best buy. In this case, plan on buying a different version of these toys. Chances are that your child will also love them.

To decrease the spending, you may want to add homemade gifts to the mix. The beauty of the homemade gifts are that they can be unique and more personal. These features are something that the store-bought items cannot compete with. And of course, price-wise, they are cheaper.

In making homemade gifts, always try to make use of what you've already had at home since this can decrease the cost even further. And don't try to replicate any store-bought toys because you may not be able to compete in that area. Instead, go for uniqueness and personal touches.

Here are some ideas to make your creative juices flowing:

Personalized scrap book.

Personalized apron for girls.

Personalized draw-string bag for girls with some jewellery and home-made hair accessories.

A couple of 'coupon' for: one day outing, staying up late, one chore-free day and so on.

Customs for pretend play.

Doll accessories: clothing, blanket, towel, diaper.

Home-made wooden blocks, felt puzzle or personalized wooden puzzle.

Home-made bedroom decoration accessories or a bedroom makeover.

Home-made car mats for boys. To make one, get 1 yard of canvas fabric, seam the edges. Paint the roads, stores, stadium, and so on.

Home-made sock puppets.

Old toy make over. This includes: repainting an old bike and adding 'bells-and-whistles' to it.

Personalized treasure box.

Audio casette of your own voice reading aloud your children's favourite book. The other variation of this item is to tell a story using your child as the main character.

Homemade dolls and stuffed animals.

One of the best idea for a homemade toy gift is: gathered items for pretend play. To do this cheaply, you need to plan in advance.

For instance, you can make a doctor office set by putting an eye dropper, syringe (with no needle), popsicle sticks (as tongue depressors), store-bought toy stethoscope, office supply, bandage, X-ray film imitation (use black construction paper with cardboard backing. Draw skull on it), flashlight, and many more.

You can also make other set such as a store set, detective set or other set which you know your children are interested in. The nice thing about home-made pretend play set is that you can use real items and is often more complete than the store-bought one.

Finally, I would like to encourage you to think that expensive does not mean better. In fact homemade gifts can be as satisfying as the store-bought one. And more importantly, they are much less expensive.

7 easy ideas for organizing kids artwork

title:7 Easy Ideas for Organizing Kids Artwork

author:Maria Gracia

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_1.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint and build. These activities can certainly stimulate children, and help them grow.

Very often, these masterpieces that your children create are brought home and proudly displayed. But what do you do when all of the artwork begins to take over your home? Here are 7 great ideas:

1. FIND THE DIAMONDS. Rather than keeping every single piece of artwork your child creates, sit down with your child on a regular basis and ask him to choose the one or two he likes best. By the end of the year, you should have no more than 5 pieces of artwork that your child believes to be his "best" pieces. This will help keep the artwork under control, and will still give you an opportunity to save his creations for future memories.

2. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS. Take photos of the artwork that your child creates and keep these photos in a scrapbook. This way, even if the artwork is discarded for space purposes, you'll still have the memory!

3. KIDS FILE STORAGE BOX. Office supply stores carry portable file boxes that hold hanging file folders. These generally have a cover and a handle for easy portability. Help your child create her very own filing system. Perhaps one file folder for 2nd grade artwork, one for 3rd grade artwork, and so on. Now, all the drawings, and any type of artwork that lays flat, will be kept safe and organized. You'll even be teaching your child filing skills! It's never too early!

4. KEEP IT CONTAINED. For other artwork that does not lay flat, the perfect container may be a large, plastic container with a lid. Your child will have a space for shadowboxes, and other artwork that won't fit into a file folder. Again, be choosy. If you keep every single piece of artwork your child brings home for the next 15 years, your house is going to be overflowing with it.

5. HANG IT. Get your child his very own artwork bulletin board so he can display his favorite artwork in his bedroom. When organized on a nice cork board, this really adds a nice touch to a child's room. Plus, your child can very easily switch one piece of art, with another.

6. SUPPLY MANIA. If your child produces a lot of artwork at home, she probably has tons of crayons, markers and other art supplies. Keep it all in a portable box, light enough for your child to be able to transport it from one room into the next. In addition, separate and organize the supplies into separate Zip-lock baggies before putting them in the box. This will keep everything organized and easily accessible.

7. THE PERFECT GIFT. Kids artwork makes the perfect gift for grandma, grandpa, sister Jane, Aunt Sue, Uncle Jim, and so on. Rather than buying gifts for your child to give to family members, encourage them to give their creations away as special gifts to special people.

We all wish that our children have good virtues but are we setting a good example ourselves

title:We All Wish That Our Children have Good Virtues, but... Are We Setting A Good Example Ourselves?

author:Samir Jhaveri

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_216.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



We all wish that our children should not smoke or drink, should not speak lies, should not steal, should not have a violent nature, etc... but are we setting a good example ourselves?

Just yesterday, I was at a friend's place and his daughter came running up to us with her school calendar and asked him to put a remark for being absent for school. They had been to a close relative's wedding and my friend merely wrote "Stomach Pain" and signed the calendar. Aren't you indirectly teaching the child that it is OK to lie? I have seen so many parents protecting the guilt of their children by lying, I wonder what will happen to them when these children start lying to their parents themselves!

Smoking is a very bad habit and you must refrain from smoking, at least in front of children. When you smoke, your child watches your actions with great concentration and then even tries to imitate you. If you cannot leave the habit, go to the terrace / verandah and smoke. If you don't have one, go for a walk and take your nicotine break there. If you have a spare room in your house, go there and remember to close / lock your door. So what if your child knows that you smoke? Don't light up in front of him. If you are smoking and your child comes to you, extinguish your cigarette, even you have just started (even if you're not a millionaire). Remember, passive smoking is just as dangerous to your child's health. Don't keep cigarettes lying around the house and always keep track of the number of cigarettes you have (even if you're a millionaire). You don't want your missing cigarettes found in your child's schoolbag, do you? Remember one thing in your life - never ever ask your child to buy cigarettes for you, if you run out of them. If you do, be rest assured that your child will smoke, some day. You are exposing him to all the varieties of cigarettes, the touch, feel and smell of it, the cigarette vendor's marketing skills and the other smokers. If your children ask you about your smoking habit, don't lie. Tell them you do smoke and have accidently caught the habit. Don't give a reason for smoking (like you are stressed, etc) as some day you will get a similar reason from him. Also tell him that you are trying to quit and genuinely give it a try. Get an anti-smoking screensaver and install it on your PC. You can get them free if you search on Google. com. Wouldn't your children be happier if you lived a little longer?

The same goes for drinking. One important thing to remember - never get drunk in front of your children. If you are not in your senses, you could speak or do something that you shouldn't, in front of your children. You can even cause physical or mental harm. If you MUST get drunk, go to a bar or confine yourself to a locked room. If your spouse is around, the better.

Don't use foul language in front of children. As I mentioned earlier, children try to imitate you. If you come across a reckless driver and let off steam be careful with your words. Your child is listening. Never ever use foul language with your spouse and don't abuse him / her, at least not in front of your children. I know, we all have our problems and married life (or any other life) isn't a bed of roses. But try to confine your fights to your bedroom and control the decibel level unless you have a totally soundproof room. I have heard 3 year old children speaking the filthiest language, even if they probably don't know what they're speaking!

Never ever let go a child who stole something. Now, I'm not saying that if you found out that your child is stealing, jump on him or give him a tight slap. Don't even humiliate him with shame. But sternly explain him that this is not right and make it crystal clear that it is not permitted. If he has stolen from a store, go back with him and make him return the item. If it is from school, make him return it to the teacher to avoid him from public shame. Explain to the teacher that you will be keeping an eye on him from repetition of the act. Follow your promise religiously and keep a check on his possessions within his schoolbag, his cupboard, etc. Is there something he possesses that is not bought by you? If so, be firm in knowing from where he got it from and insist on returning it. Don't accept lies too easily, its as if you're condoning the theft. Also remember, don't keep money lying around the house even if you have money to burn. Make him understand the value of money. Maintain a limit on pocket money and encourage him to save. It is also time to think if the child needs more affection and attention at home and a watch over his company. If all attempts fail, approach a child psychiatrist.

Television, movies, games and comics also play a vital role in the psychology of the child. If he watches a lot of brutality, he may tend to act it out. Limit the time and type of programs he watches. Encourage him to watch productive programs suitable to his age. Although I don't watch television often, recently I have been watching some serials and was quite surprised that most of them were centered around scheming women with criminal minds. A very important thing you should do is be with your child when watching television. If there is a scene which you shouldn't want your child to see, distract him by asking him some question like "is your home work complete" and when he is looking at you, change the channel. If he insists to watch it, firmly tell him that it is not right for his age.

The real dangers to kids online and how to avoid them

title:The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid Them

author:Joshua Finer

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_31.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



Did you know

1 out of 5 kids has been sexually solicited online

1 out of 4 kids has been sent a picture of naked people or people having sex online

that May 21, 2002 there was the first death of a child linked directly to an Internet Predator?

Parents' biggest concern about the Internet used to be pornography, but there is definitely a greater fear today.

You have probably taught your child not to talk to strangers, and in many situations, they would remember this. But the Internet is different.

Due to the Internet's anonymity, strangers are talking to children all the time. They try to gain the child's trust by having friendly conversation at first, but over time, their true objective of sexually soliciting the child becomes evident. Children and parents alike are unaware of this, yet this is exactly what is going on via the Internet.

What can today's parent do? Armed with information, there's quite a bit a parent can do.

Software4Parents. com's Top 5 Internet Safety Tips

Tell your child to NEVER EVER reveal their name, address, phone number or any other personal information to ANYONE online. Once you give out this information, it is impossible to retract.

Communicate regularly (not just once) with your child about WHAT they do online and WHO they talk to online. If you have actually met the friends they are talking to in person, you'll know it is OK for them to chat with them online.

Take computers out of kids' rooms and put them into public areas such as the family room. Many parents think they are helping with homework by giving the kids a computer, but it also opens certain dangers that you may be unaware of.

Choose your child's screen name, email address or instant message name wisely - don't' reveal ages, sex, hobbies, and CERTAINLY NOT suggestive or sexy names. Predators are more likely to pursue a child with the screen name "foxyteen15" than "happygirl5"

Use technology to help you protect your child. Monitoring software gives you the ability to review your child's Internet usage. Even if you don't look at each and every email or instant message they send, you'll have a good idea if they are making smart choices online.

The Internet can open many doors and provide useful information for children. An aware and informed parent can help keep children safe.

How to survive as a working parent

Basic Tips

1. Communicate with your babysitter, nannies or au pair, mother’s help to keep up-to–date.

Make as much time as possible to talk to your child care provider. If you can keep the lines of communication open beyond the rush, you'll have a much better feeling about your child's development and well being.

2. Don't get wound up by small issues.

If your child only wants to eat burgers every day, let him eat them. He will outgrow this phase. Providing the child is not harming itself (getting over-weight etc.) or someone else by the behaviour just let it go.

3. Be flexible and open to new ideas and options

If you have an early morning meeting and it takes your child an hour to decide what to wear in the morning, consider letting them sleep in their clothes. They will think it's fun and you'll be at work on time.

4. Be honest and up front with your child about going to work and leaving them with the babysitter, nannies or au pair, mother’s help

Explain that you have to work, encourage the child to ask questions of the carer. Be enthusiastic about the carer as your attitude will shape your child's expectations and experiences. Remember research proves that children benefit from trusting relationships with more than one caregiver. The research has shown that babies with more than one attachment are less distressed when mother leaves for work, they are more playful and content in the presence of other adults, and are less distracted at the birth of a sibling.

5. Don't panic or feel guilty when your child cries when you leave Young children don't understand what "I'll be back later" means. As your child grows older, she will begin to understand that you'll return for her at the end of the day. With older children, reassure them that you'll return. Never sneak away. You're trying to build your child's trust, not break it down. Remember that childcare can be great for your child, as your child will benefit from personal attention, interactions with other children and age-appropriate educational programs that will be great preparation for school. Research shows that children who receive good quality childcare tend to be ahead of other children both intellectually and developmentally. Research also shows that children in childcare show the same degree of attachment to their mothers and the same amount of security as children with mothers who stay home. Remember if working makes you happy, you're children will be happier. Working mothers who like their jobs have better personal adjustments, are happier, and are less depressed than full-time mothers, even those who prefer being at home. Depressed mothers naturally have depressing effects on their children.

6. Accept help

When your relative or neighbour offers to baby-sit the children or pick them up from school or childcare, let them. They wouldn't offer if they didn't mean it.

7. Keep duplicates of "vital stuff"

Extra blankets, nappies, clothes, and dummies will come in handy in a panic.

8. Get organized

Plan ahead, menus for the week so you can cook extra so there are leftovers, pack the baby’s bag the night before. Generally working parents are organised. For example, working mothers spend the same amount of time in direct interaction with their children as full-time mothers. Employed mothers spend as much time reading to and playing with their children as those at home, although they do not spend as much time simply in the same room.

9. Abandon the idea of the perfect home

Perfectly clean house, nutritionally balanced meals, clean well-dressed children, and a fantastic career is an impossible standard that will cause you unnecessary strain. Give yourself a break and concentrate on what's important. Get in a cleaner, mother’s help to help you with the laundry, house-cleaning, and household work. It will be money well spent. Fast food and ready meals are not poisonous.

10. Occasionally pamper yourself with me time

Consider lighting some candles or josh sticks, put in some bath oil and grab your favourite magazine. As most kids hate the bathroom you should be undisturbed.

11. Plan time without the kids.

Eat some chocolates, read the newspaper or a book, go to a movie, visit a new restaurant, or go to a museum and relieve some stress. Escape.

12. Go on a course.

There are many courses to assist with everything from cookery, through home economics to child psychology

How To Choose Quality Child Care

1. Is the carer trained and/or experienced?

2. Have you spoken in person or got reports on at least one (preferably two) parents who've used the carer and said good things about her or him?

3. Does the carer respond to your child as an individual and communicate well with you? Are you and your child happy and appreciated?

4. Is she or he willing to help you continue your child's routine with things such as sleep, food or any special needs?

5. Is she willing to fit in with your ideas on discipline, toilet teaching, sweets and other issues?

6. Does she or he obviously like children and enjoy caring for them?

Copyright Amie Porter

Why child bearing is healthy

title:Why Child Bearing Is Healthy

author:Dr Randy Wysong

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_343.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



From a purely biological perspective, bearing children can be considered the most important reason for a woman’s existence. For that matter, the same could be said about men, since both sexes are, in effect, disposable packages of genetic material. We die, but our genes continue on immortally.

With increasing population pressure and modern independent lifestyles (unlike the family farm where children were almost a necessity), procreation has become an option that is increasingly declined or at least significantly restricted. But with these choices women take themselves out of a natural biological role. Additionally, treating the breast as an ornament rather than a feeding organ – by opting for synthetic formulas – also removes women from a natural biological function.

When these choices are coupled with the use of contraceptive hormones, hormone replacement therapy, an increasing load of estrogenic pollutants in the environment and food, and a diet that has veered significantly from its natural design, the formula for hormonal pandemonium, metabolic dysfunction, and disease is in place. The result is early menses in children, infertility, abnormal and erratic menstrual cycles, cervical dysplasia, fibroids, endometrial cancer, breast cancer, premenstrual syndrome, dramatic mood swings and depression, osteoporosis, and other symptoms of abnormal menopause: hot flashes, psychological problems, decreased libido, and thinning of the vaginal wall.

This is a difficult problem with no easy solution. If women would have as many children as they are capable of, nurse them for years as they are designed to, eat natural foods, and live in a more pristine environment, most of these modern health problems would disappear.

If money flowed out of our tap we would not have economic problems either, right?

The desire to limit families may soon not even be an option. We either curtail population growth or we will saw through the branch we all sit on. Population is the engine that ultimately drives all environmental woes. We live on a finite planet with finite resources, but we have an infinite ability to breed. We either live within the limits of Earth’s sustainable resources or we will destroy ourselves. Having children may be a natural and healthy process, but can be a deadly game for sustainable life on Earth.

So we have a conundrum. Women need to fulfill their biological reproductive role to achieve metabolic balance and health, but if they do so unlimited, the health of life on Earth is jeopardized.

In an attempt to solve this dilemma, women have turned to the quick fix of pharmaceutical synthetic hormones. Hormones that control conception, hormones that control abnormal menstrual cycles, and hormones that fix menopause. It is an overly simplistic solution to a complex problem.

The saying, “Don’t mess with Mother Nature” is particularly applicable when dosing the body with hormones. Since the 1940’s when estrogen therapy became popular, hundreds of thousands of women have succumbed to cancer. For example, a woman is nearly 13 times more likely to get endometrial cancer, and at nearly a 30% increased risk of breast cancer when she takes estrogen. Recently, researchers have identified the two top preventable breast cancer risks: oral birth control pills and estrogen replacement therapy.

For those who justify the use of estrogen for the benefits of decreased risk of osteoporosis and cardiovascular disease, consider that proper exercise, diet and lifestyle choices can have the same beneficial effect without the potential consequence of cancer.

How have women specifically put themselves outside of their natural context to make themselves more susceptible to cancers?

The average mom gives birth to about two infants. Although this is an intelligent number from the standpoint of population control, it is unnatural in that by not continuing to have pregnancies and to nurse (which stops ovulations) she will ovulate an incredible 438 times during her lifetime.

On the other hand, a woman in the primitive natural setting who may not even know what causes pregnancy or how to prevent it even if they wanted to, would have started menstruating and ovulating at age twelve and would have delivered nine babies and breast-fed them over the course of her reproductive career. Breast-feeding can continue for children in a totally natural setting for up to five or more years of age. The combination of pregnancy along with breast-feeding in the premodern setting would have decreased the number of ovulations that a primitive mother would have had to about nine.

This means that today women cycle through their menstrual periods an abnormal number of times, subjecting their bodies to surges of estrogen 50 times greater than our primitive ancestors living in a natural setting.

Many cancers of women are sensitive to high levels of female hormones.

For example, breast cancer is sensitive to estrogen. In dogs, simply removing the ovaries can often prevent or halt the progress of mammary cancer. Tamoxifen in humans is used to block estrogen activity within the mammary glands and thus is believed to exert its protective effect in this way. (This pharmaceutical agent can, however, increase the risk of uterine cancer to about the same degree that the risk of breast cancer is reduced!)

The resting periods of lower estrogen levels that women experienced in the premodern setting served a protective effect to spare organs and tissues from cancer. Women who nurse for a total period of time of even as little as two years are known to have a decreased incidence of mammary cancer.

This excess ovulation hypothesis is the likely explanation for the tragic phenomenon of modern female cancers. When humans decide to flout and repudiate nature by interfering with natural biological design, disease will always be the consequence.

If the problem is a departure from nature, then the solution is a return to it. Here are some options:

1. Refer to the Wysong Optimal Health Program for guidelines on life choices that can enhance overall health and thus hormonal health (http://www. wysong. net/PDFs/ohp. pdf).

2. Emphasize fresh raw foods in the diet and avoid processed foods as much as possible.

3. Eliminate hydrogenated oils and refined sugars. Hydrogenated oils displace healthful dietary fats and have been shown to be carcinogenic, and sugars can stimulate a rise in estrogens.

4. Try to use organic foods as much as possible and avoid synthetic materials in cosmetics, at home and in the workplace to help reduce exposure to environmental estrogens.

5. Do not attempt “low fat” or “low cholesterol” fad diets that often create dependence upon processed carbohydrates and seriously reduce important natural dietary fats and essential fatty acids.

6. Increase the consumption of natural vegetable foods containing phytoestrogens which tend to counteract estrogens.

7. Avoid hormone medications if at all possible.

8. Explore natural birth control measures.

9. Nurse your babies for as long as you can.

Modern life presents many choices, freedoms and rights. Tinkering with child bearing, however, is a choice that is not without consequences. Women need to be aware and take the steps necessary to make sure the choices they make do not also bring with them the increased risk of serious modern diseases.


Zeneca Pharaceuticals. Tamoxifen Patient Insert. Zeneca, Inc. Wilmington, DE. 1998.

Keeping your new baby safe

title:Keeping Your New Baby Safe

author:Rose Smith

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_81.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



After all the baby furniture is purchased, you'll have to start thinking of baby safety supplies. Once your baby becomes mobile (and that's in a few short months), battening down the hatches is extremely important.

If you have stairs or open doorways leading to areas that you don't want your baby to wander into, you'll need to purchase some baby gates. Most are adjustable to fit a variety of openings and come in a variety of styles such as wooden, plastic and mesh.

Don't forget those electrical outlets! For some bizarre reason children love to stick metal objects in those little slits so get your outlets covered, including any powerbars you may be using. Another favorite "play toy" with toddlers is the toilet. A good toilet lid latch should help keep the plumbing working.

Electrical appliances, TV's, VCR's and household items will also need to be secured. It's amazing what children can find to pull down or get into. Plus, don't forget to pick up safety supplies for when you're traveling, even if it's just a short distance. Baby harnesses are a good thing to use once your toddler is walking. And don't forget to protect them from harmful UV rays with some sort of car window shade.

Keeping your precious child safe is very important. There are so many little things in the household that, as adults, we take for granted. But to a child, they're new and exciting areas to explore... which can be very dangerous to them. As a new parent or even grandparent, get down on your knees and crawl around your house looking for all the temptations found at your baby's level. You'll be amazed at what potential hazards you will find. Secure your new baby's safety before it's too late.

Tips to plan your kid party menu

title:Tips To Plan Your Kid Party Menu

author:Lewis Lew

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_604.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



Plan your kid party menu early to allow time to shop for ingredient and avoid last minutes work. When planning for your menu, the following are to take into consideration

1. Age of your guest. Younger children love simple bite-sized food while order children are usually more adventurous. Don’t serve nuts, hard candies, or hot dogs to small children because of the hazard of choking.

2. Don’t forget to cater for parents, if you know they will stay at the party. Provide some cracker and a fruit punch will do.

3. Are there any children that are allergies to any food and any vegetarians?

4. What time is your party start? Are you planning for a lunch or dinner or tea menu?

5. Do you have birthday party theme? If you have, you will have to use your creativity to link your party food to your theme.

6. When to serve what food? Serve drink and crackers before the party begins. Dessert like ice cream could be served at tea-end or later part of the party. Display the birthday cake for all to see but save the ceremony for later break.

7. Are you going to DIY the birthday cake yourself? If yes plan when you going to bake and decorate your cake according to your kid birthday party idea.

8. Remember to ask your child any preference of cake or food he/she preferred.

Helping toddlers learn through make-believe

: Kayleen is serving tea and muffins to Oscar the Grouch while sporting a faded felt snowman hat. Not too far away, C. J. is holding a baby doll and gently taking her temperature with a big plastic thermometer. What do these two year olds have in common? They’re both engaging in the time-less activity of ‘make-believe’ play. Through make-believe, young children learn about themselves and the world around them. Little babies playing pat-a-cake are making believe. Depending on the age of the child, their role playing games will vary. Imaginative children don’t need fancy toys or equipment to pretend; they’re happy with a box and a toilet tissue roll. When they engage in pretend play with a variety of objects, they’re learning life skills that will help them as adults. We’ve all watched little kids playing dress-up or ‘house.’ Children can create an imaginary world anywhere – when molding clay animals, when helping mom or dad match-up socks (sock puppets are the best after all.) If they’re this creative with just a sock, then think what they can do with special make-believe props. Often parents feel that their children require expensive furniture and household equipment for pretend play. Remember the little boy with the refrigerator box in his back yard when you were a kid? Everyone showed up to help build limitless structures and the play would go on for hours, or until the box fell apart. Oh well, the hours spent cooperating together and using colorful imaginations were worth far more than any expensive jungle gym or playhouse. What spurs the imagination of a toddler or preschool age child? What type of ‘props’ should parents provide to encourage make-believe even further than what kids will do naturally? Here are just a few ideas:
  • Dress-Up – hats, jewelry, scarves, shoes, dresses and shirts, purses or backpacks
  • Kitchen – lots of plastic bowls with lids, kid size broom/mop/dustpan, towels, spoons, measuring cups, pots and pans with lids
  • Family – blankets, pillow, both male and female baby dolls, old or toy cell phones, boxes of various sizes for baby beds
  • House – kid size table, cardboard boxes to serve as appliances, furniture or TV, full-length mirror Playing make-believe encourages little children to play together, and is perfect for play groups and for helping shy children overcome anxiety. Little children have boundless ideas for creative play, but love it when parents or caregivers take part in the activity. Many times, imaginative play can help parents realize that their child is fearful or worried about something in particular. Helping them talk about their fears through make-believe will often lessen the child’s stress and bring you closer to your child. Encourage your child’s imagination through make-believe with simple and inexpensive toys and props. Your refrigerator box may fall apart, but the fun of building it will last forever.
  • Nanny agencies and their services

    Our children are the most important people in our lives. When we have to work, and cannot care for them ourselves, we need to be able to trust the people we hire to take care of our precious ones. This is when you need to find the best nanny agencies. Many people struggle with the thought of a stranger taking care of their children. Parents put an ad in the paper, or ask friends for advice. But what about nanny agencies?

    Parents interview the prospective nanny, and ask all of the right questions, but there is still the nagging feeling that they may not be totally honest. There is no way of knowing for sure. That is when a nanny agencies can be of assistance. Nanny agencies can offer more of a thorough screening process than event the most diligent parent can.

    These nanny agencies are temp-to-hire agencies specially developed for nannies. Each applicant is screened; every aspect of his or her life is an open book. Nanny agencies do an extensive criminal background check complete with fingerprints, the employment history and check all references very carefully to rule out any possible threat to a child. Even though the agency screens each applicant, it is in the best interest of your child or children to check out the references for your self. Ask for prior clients and meet face to face with them. Write down all of the questions you want to ask. Often, when you have an actual face-to-face meeting, you are nervous and forget what you wanted to ask. When a parent decides to hire nanny agencies, there are a few things they need to take into consideration.

    First of all ask questions. These people will be taking care of your children, ask as many question as it takes until you feel comfortable with the prospective nanny agency.

    One of the first questions that should be asked is how long the nanny agency has been in business. It is not necessarily a bad thing to be a new agency, but with an established agency references can be furnished and the nanny agency itself will have some type of reputation. Ask what the placement success rate is. Experts estimate that placing six to eight nannies per month is a good ratio, as long as it is not the same nanny being placed.

    The question of the rates and fees of the nanny agencies is important. No one wants to think that they cannot afford the best for their children, but in today’s economy, it is impossible not to take this into consideration. It is counter productive to hire a nanny one month, and not be able to pay for it the next.

    The advantages to using nanny agencies are many. But there are also disadvantages. One such disadvantage is the monthly payments. These payments can sometimes be thousands of dollars. If a nanny agency claims have low rates, be very wary. An excellent agency that has an excellent reputation can and does charge a very high fee. You are paying for the expertise of the nannies that are within the agency.

    Child discipline what really works

    One thing I hate to do is discipline my son. He is such a good boy most of the time, but when he gets angry he is awful! Disciplining your child is one of the hardest things to do as a parent. It is important that they understand that you are in charge, not them.

    I remember getting spankings until I was around 6 or 7 years old. I did everything I could to avoid making my mother and father angry. I haven’t spanked my son that often, but I have had to pop him when nothing else would work. Today, parents are looking for alternative methods of discipline and avoiding the dreaded spanking.

    By the time your baby is 4 years old, you should have already laid down basic rules, no more than 4 or 5. The most important part of setting the rules is to stand by them. Go over the rules with your child whenever they break one. And do not try to explain yourself to your child. You are the parent, what you say goes.

    Praise your child on any good behavior they demonstrate. This is reinforce the idea that having good behavior is much better than bad behavior. We spend alot more time scolding them for the “bad” things they do than on the “good” things. A simple “Thank You” is beneficial to your child.

    Saying “no” makes a child very angry. It means that they do not get their way or something they want. Use a firm tone with authority, not an angry one. Make sure your child understands that when you say “no,” it means no. Don’t give in if your child continues to ask or plead; just stand by your decision.

    Help your child understand the consequences of their actions or choices. For example, if you are resting and your child is playing too loudly, you can give them the choice of sitting with you and reading a book or going to play in their room until you come to get them.

    The one that my husband and I have started using is the “time-out.” My son hates to sit still. If we have asked him to stop doing something or he yells, we tell him to go to the “time-out” room and think about his actions. Then we say when he is ready to talk about it, we sit down and talk. This works for most of his bad behavior.

    There are many other alternatives; here is a list of sites for you to take a look at:

    * * The Top 10 Tips for Disciplining Toddlers by Clare Albright

    * * Positive Discipline For Toddlers and Preschoolers by Meg Berger, M. Ed.

    * * Help! I Can’t Control My Four Year-Old and Don’t Want to Resort to Spanking! at http://Parenthood. com

    Responsible fatherhood a unique and irreplaceable role

    title:Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role

    author:Frank McGinty

    source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_346.shtml

    date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



    Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy. Yet I shouldn't have felt that way!

    My wife had left for work and I was hanging the washing out to dry. A neighbour from down the way was in his backyard doing the same. 'Good day for drying', he called. 'Let's hope the rain stays away.'

    I had to think about what made me uneasy. Then it hit me. Two men hanging out the washing!

    When I was a kid that would never have happened. That was women's work, after all!

    And that made me think about the changing role of men and fatherhood.

    Change is seldom easy, hence the deeply buried sense of unease - even in someone like me who considers himself an enlightened individual!

    The image of fatherhood has changed very much in recent years, hasn't it?

    We've come a long way from the distant, unemotional, patriarch figure. The god-like master who provided for his family, but didn't expect to be troubled by family issues!

    After World War II there was a definite shift. Men became much more involved in the play and leisure areas of family life.

    Maybe this was due to the separation caused by the war and consequent feelings of vulnerability. But men still didn't get involved in household chores!

    Today we see a much more enlightened image of the male as a co-parent, getting involved in all aspects of family life and pulling his weight in the home.

    Or do we? . . .

    Are we really there yet? Some men are moving in the right direction. Others need a gentle push!

    Perhaps they need encouragement more than anything.

    Young boys tend to see their dads as role models and often absorb, even unconsciously, their dads attitudes and habits. So if some of today's dads haven't witnessed and experienced the input of an involved father, the role may not come easily to them.

    And yet a dad's involvement in family life has so much benefit both for the children, the mother and the dad himself.

    By pulling their weight with the household chores Dads give a good example to their kids AND they help ease the burden on an all too often over-burdened Mum.

    By getting involved in play and educational activities Dads can help build that vital relationship on which confidence depends: their own confidence as parents and the confidence of their kids to explore and discover their talents and abilities to learn the boundaries within which they must operate to absorb the values of the person in charge of them

    So much to be gained, for all parties involved!

    So if Dad is a rather reluctant participant in family matters, remember that as well as a firm push he may need lots of encouragement.

    After all, the role may not come easily since hundreds of years on non-involvement are in his genes.

    Let's all look forward to the day when hanging up the laundry is no big deal for a Dad!

    Happy parenting.

    A good memory will change your child s life

    title:A Good Memory Will Change Your Child's Life

    author:Pam Connolly

    source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_576.shtml

    date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



    Would you like to help your child develop an amazing memory quickly and easily? Have you ever envied someone because of his or her incredible memory? Did that person seem to learn and remember everything ... effortlessly? Chances are that your answer is...Yes!

    As children begin their education and face the mountains of facts and formulas ahead of them, they will need tools to simplify their learning and master subjects. A good memory will change your child’s life. You can help them develop a good memory .. and have fun doing it!

    These are tried and true techniques I have used throughout my life - with different types of learners, different ages of students, and differing subject matter. You, too, can make them a part of your child’s life and education (and your own).

    I received my primary education in a religious school, where I was expected to LEARN. I was forced (yes-forced) to memorize by rote every day. This ranged from multiplication tables to Robert Frost, but every day "it" was something. Worse, every day we had stand up in the front of the class and recite the lesson. The performance anxiety was intense. It was pure torture at the time. Little did I realize, from that perceived trauma, that I would develop techniques that would supercharge my brain power.

    Later in college, I majored in the History of Art, which required memorizing thousands of seemingly random facts. It was nothing to be expected to know 200 dates, artists, objects of art, and the history surrounding them for one exam. Wow, so much stuff and so little time!

    I never dreamed that my "shortcuts" were so special, that they’d be the keys that would catapult me to the top of my class and give me the edge over my classmates.

    I thought everyone used them. Whoa... was I wrong! When my classmates were struggling, cramming, and panicking, I slid through the curriculum and exams with ease.

    For the last 30 years, I taught my memory techniques to my students (as an elementary school teacher). It was wonderful watching the "skulls full of mush" develop into eager learners.

    Recently, I have branched out into studying why and how learning and memory occur. I have been focusing on the brain, how we learn, and how we remember.

    The brain is a miraculous thing! Train it properly once and you are its master for life!

    Here's the first step: Encourage your child to look at the world around them. Yes, LOOK .... (I told you it was easy.) Just look and talk and talk and talk to your child, almost non-stop, (no matter what their age) about what you see. Emphasize colors, textures, positioning of objects in your surroundings. Point out how various items interact. Ask “why” and “how” questions. Something as simple as how the egg you're frying "interacts" with the pan - how it spits, congeals, gets crispy, etc. Notice the little things. Use your senses; use your adjectives. Call attention to cause and effect.

    This gets children interested in all things around them. Depending on the age of your child, elicit input... anything... Help your child to develop his or her natural curiosity about the world.

    Encourage participation.

    It is critical that they get the gist of this without too much prompting. Take as long as your child needs to develop this “new attention”! This “attention” is the foundation to ALL memory, so perfect it now! Make this heightened awareness a normal part of your conversations with them. This is the first step in developing your child's memory. Make sure each child gets a grasp of this concept before moving on. I guarantee they will enjoy this "game" and never realize they are developing skills that will serve them their whole lives.

    A world class memory is fundamental to all learning.

    Copyright 2005 by Pam Connolly

    Retro baby clothing

    : If it was cool when you were a kid, it’s cool for your kids!

    Baby clothing is quite a bit different today than it was when you were an infant. From the designer styles of Baby Dior and Baby Phat to the bizarre offerings of the alternative baby clothing market, there’s now something for every parent to adorn her children with in an effort to transfer a bit of her own personality onto her offspring. One of the latest trends in baby fashions is the “retro” look in baby wear.

    Retro baby clothing indicates baby sized tees and “Onesies” that have been printed or screened with images of pop culture past. In many cases the pictures are of icons from before even the parents’ time, making it cool to be the most obscure. Interested parties are not likely to find these offerings at the local Wal-Mart but will instead have to order them online. Fortunately for those interested in giving their children a little piece of the past to wear on their chests, there is no shortage of those sites available.

    The most complete and probably best known of these sites is The Retro Baby. Perusing the offerings of the site is like a walk down memory lane for anyone who is in their thirties or has a keen fix on the pop-culture of the 1980s. Designs available here include television references like The A Team, ALF, CHiPs, and Dallas (the Dallas print will be instantly familiar to anyone who remembers the summer that America was wondering who shot J. R.) as well as older images from shows that the parents of today watched in reruns while growing up: Barbara Eden in her silky outfit from I Dream of Jeanie and Clayton Moore in his blue Texas Ranger outfit complete with black mask from The Lone Ranger. Prices for these printed “Onesies” are a bit steep at $14.95 ($16.95 for toddler-sized tees) considering the baby will grow out of them completely in a few months’ time, but even the most stoic of thirty-somethings will have to admit that they are getting a certain dose of cool for their cash.

    Retro doesn’t just mean pop culture references, however. Several clothiers are offering styles that are a clear throwback to those worn by kids in the fifties, sixties, and seventies. One such company, Cakewalk Baby, offers flower print designs reminiscent of the post-hippie era of the late seventies; a time when PC meant petty cash, Elvis Presley was still with us, and no one knew what a video game or MTV was. A website called Milena Bee offers these designs and more and is definitely worth a look.

    Whether you want to put stills of Bruce Lee from Enter the Dragon or flowery designs from an era gone by on your baby’s body, retro baby clothes may be just what you need to show the world that your baby is cooler than cool. Look hard enough and you may be able to find a tee shirt that says “I’m the Fonz” or “Frankie Say Relax.”

    How important is it to buy a lightweight stroller or pushchair

    In terms of a baby, buying a pushchair is one of the most important decisions you will make. It can make your life as a parent easier, if you make a good decision – however, if you choose a pushchair or stroller for the wrong reasons, it can make your life much more difficult – in fact you are likely not to use that pushchair and go out and buy another.

    I have spoken with many parents who have made exactly this mistake and ended up owning two or even more pushchairs. Why? – because pushchairs, strollers and buggies come in very many different shapes and sizes. As a parent, indeed as a parent buying a pushchair for the very first time, it is easy to make your purchase for the wrong reasons – because you don’t yet understand the most important factors when making that purchase.

    When moving a baby or toddler outdoors, in a buggy, stroller or pushchair, you will soon realise that you will need so many other things with you – spare clothing, nappies, bottles, food. Also, you will not be able to carry shopping while you are pushing your pushchair, so you will need to be able to store shopping on your pushchair.

    Now, you are probably realising that this is all going to add weight, and you are right – the combined weight of pushchair, baby, shopping, clothes, feed, and anything else, will become quite significant.

    As the weight becomes more and more, you will sacrifice manouverability and shopping can start to become really difficult – now imagine you are fighting your way around a busy store, with narrow aisles and you will start to realise that, for shopping, a lightweight buggy is really important.

    There are many circumstances where a weight is not so important and there are many other factors that also must be taken into account. Buying a pushchair, stroller or buggy is not any easy decision and deserves much thought and consideration.

    Keeping the stress out of single parenting

    title:Keeping the Stress out of Single Parenting

    author:Marta Dodd

    source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_50.shtml

    date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



    Researched through personal experience! by Marta Dodd

    Budget Your Money. Even if you are living paycheck to paycheck like most of us, knowing how much money goes to where can be a big help. This gives you the relief that the bills are being paid, with a feel of how much you can spend on allowance, school photos, birthday gifts, entertainment or just You!

    Keep a Daily Schedule. Time is important, so teach that to the kids by implementing a routine. Put together a schedule reflecting chore & homework time. If the kids know their daily routine then it gives them something fun to work for when the Room is clean or the garbage is taken out. Don’t be afraid to make your own chores so that your children see you set a positive example.

    Let Your Kids be Kids. Even though taking on Single Parenting has sometimes forced you to become serious and lacking laughter, remember those precious children never asked to be in this situation. Don’t force them to grow up any faster and deal with the “Single Parent Issues” that we have to deal with. They are still kids and they shouldn’t have to worry about anything other than “Kid Issues.”

    Stay Positive about the Other Parent. No matter the circumstances, don’t down talk the other parent. If the Other Parent isn’t paying child support, it’s none of the kids business and shouldn’t be something that is talked about if not brought up by the child. Whether the parent is around or away, it shouldn’t matter. We once saw good in that person and regardless of how it is now, your child may always think the world of that Other Parent. In time the truth always comes out, and the only way a child will know is discovering for themselves.

    Communicate to Your Children About the Special Circumstances of Your Family. You can keep your kids informed without telling them everything. If you talk to your kids early on, when they are ready, you can avoid having them learn from a distant relative, some other child from school or even a stranger.

    Spend Quality Time with Your Children. Keeping your family going takes a lot of energy and a good amount of Quality time away from the kids. Set out a time each day to read, play a game, play on the computer or even learn something new. It could be 2 hours or 20 minutes. What matters is that your child know it’s his/her time and they will look forward to each and every day.

    Find Support and Use it. There is a lot of help out there, including the resources in this newsletter. Take advantage of them. They’re there for you to utilize. I always keep in mind that one day soon I won’t need them and I can turn around and help others in the same situation.

    Take Time for Yourself. You may always have your children around, but don’t forget you are still one person. Keep yourself healthy and feeling positive about being a parent. I know it gets tough and you feel like you are all alone, but you’re not. Take some time out to spend with yourself or even to hang out with friends. Adult conversation and a movie is always nice after a long Saturday of nonstop giggling and cartoons!

    Profile of encouraged children

    title:Profile of Encouraged Children

    author:Carol Welsh

    source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_441.shtml

    date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



    Walk through any mall and you will see discouraged families. The parents look weary because the children are controlling them. How did this happen?

    With both parents working and returning home tired, sometimes it’s just easier to give in to the demands of the children. Eventually the pattern is set. An Audio child knows if he relentlessly demands his way, he will win. A Visual knows if she asks for your help with a project and frets over getting it done, you will do it for her rather than taking the time to help her do it herself.

    A Feeler child knows if she turns on the tears every time she has a little “ouch,” and you rush to her rescue rather than just cleaning the scratch and making light of it, that she can manipulate you by woefully crying. A Wholistic knows if he has a temper tantrum if you don’t take him with you, that you might give in because the tantrum stops instantly when you do.

    Encouraged children develop into adults with good self-esteem and therefore, function through their Empowering Tendencies. Discouraged children end up as adults working through their Limiting Tendencies. This means they are controlling. They found out at an early age how to control you and now they do it with others as well.

    In the children’s section of Stop When You See Red, there is a table that shows parental actions that lead to discouraging results, such as a confrontation with your Audio child where you are both demanding your way. Recommended actions are then listed that lead to more encouraging results.

    You can easily spot a family that has encouraged their children because they are happy and relaxed. The family members obviously enjoy being with each other and there is mutual respect. In my book I also talk about 5-star efforts, which are actions that take more effort but the rewards are worth it. Here is an excellent example: When I was shopping with my sister, I observed two pairs of siblings running around the store. One set was getting into mischief. They took toilet paper off the shelf, built a fort, and then left it, all in a matter of minutes. They opened a bottle of soda, drank some and left the rest. They made a hole in a bag of candy and took some. Where was the parent? I never did see them with a parent.

    The other pair, a boy of about age 5 and his sister, about 3 Ѕ, peeked around the corner of the aisle, laughing happily. Their faces radiated sheer joy. They took something off the shelf and ran back to their mom and put it in the cart. This continued until I realized she was letting them help her shop. It made them feel important and respected and they cheerfully rose to the occasion. They always checked first before running to get something so they wouldn’t bump into someone.

    My sister stood behind the mother while she was unloading the cart filled to the brim. I walked past the checkout counter to get out of the way. I was enthralled with what I saw next. Both children stood at the end of the counter and started bagging along with the mother. Each carefully put the items in the plastic bag. Often the girl had to set the item on the floor, put the bag over it, turned it on its side and then again so the bag could be picked up the handles. If she couldn’t get the bag in the cart, she asked her mother to help who waited until she asked. Then together they lifted it up and over into the shallow basket. On the pullout shelf, the mother put litters of soda. The girl carefully placed two in a bag by standing each bottle upright on the floor side-by-side, covering them with the bag, and then asking her mother to pick it up and put it in the cart. Her mother wasn’t concerned that the bottles were upside-down in the bag.

    Most of the time, the boy put items on the pullout shelf for his sister. Otherwise she couldn’t reach them. That was her workstation and he worked beside it. When they tired, they came over to the wall where I was standing. Halloween was that weekend so there were two cardboard jack-o-lanterns taped to the wall at different heights. The boy jumped and touched the lower one. His little sister tried and missed. He talked to her, I couldn’t hear what he said, and she tried again and again, each time getting closer. Finally she touched the mouth of the jack-o-lantern. He cheered and then said, “Touch the eyes.” She jumped and did! Meanwhile he was finally able to touch the higher jack-o-lantern. They both looked so pleased with themselves because they both reached their goals. I was impressed. I asked the boy how they were able to jump so high. He said simply, “Aim high, jump!”

    The mother’s efforts clearly fell into the 5-star category. Maybe she could have bagged the groceries faster without their assistance while she told them to wait over by the wall. Out of boredom, they might have become restless and started pushing each other. Next you might hear, “Stop it! Behave yourselves!” And she and the children would have slipped into a discouraging situation where none felt like winners.

    How much extra time did it take to show these young children what they could do rather than dwelling on what they couldn’t do? Just remember to aim high and jump at the opportunities that will develop encouraged rather than discouraged children.

    Teaching your teen good money management

    Okay, you want your teenager to be more responsible with money. Do you remember when you were a teenager? Did you act responsibly with your money? What were some of the things your parents did to teach you about handling your money better?

    In this article we will discuss some of the ways you can teach your teen to be responsible when it comes to both money and credit. We will discuss several options in regards to credit and cash management for teenagers.

    Many of us, even as adults, don’t really know a lot about money management. This article may also help you as an adult manage your money and credit better. First let’s discuss goal setting. Why do you need to manage your money? What are you trying to accomplish?

    The first thing you can introduce your teen to and maybe even yourself to do, is tracking where your money goes. How many times have you asked, “Where did I spend all that money?” If you have ever asked that then tracking your money can give you great insight into managing your budget better.

    There are workbooks you can buy or you can use a simple notebook. Have your teen do this with you so you can both learn together. If you make it a family experience, your teen is more likely to pay attention and participate, because they will get to see how you manage your money too. It has the extra benefit of making you manage your money better to set a good example.

    In this new workbook you and your teen write down every expense. Every time you or they spend money on ANYTHING, it gets written down. Not in a category, what was actually paid for with the money. You will be able to review this later when building categories like, “Items I could have done without.”

    When you review your workbooks together, trade them. Each of you can mark what expenses the other probably should not have paid out and how much money you could each have saved if you didn’t make those extra expenditures.

    It isn’t a bad idea for you to make a couple of mistakes on purpose so your teen gains confidence that they can handle their money and identify what expenditures were not necessary. You need to understand that the spending habits your teenager acquires in their teens will stay with them for the rest of their life.

    An allowance is okay, but just until they get a job. Never make the allowance enough to get the things they want most. Make them learn to save their money up to buy those things. Once they do have even a part-time job, no more allowance. They will respect the money they earn a lot more than the money you give them.

    When your teenager is around 16 and has a job, help them open their own checking account. Teach them how to balance their checkbook. If you have been doing the workbook with them, this should be easy. You can help them get a prepaid credit card or teach them how to use the debit card that comes with their new checking account responsibly.

    Again, if you two have been doing your workbook and marking down everything you spend money on, managing a debit card will be easy. Also by continuing to do the workbook, you will both learn how to save more money because you will be more aware of where your money gets wasted.

    We all want to help our teens and we want to buy them nice things, but as parents we also need to teach them responsibility. Nowhere is that more important than teaching them to be responsible with money and credit.

    Buy them the necessities, but make them pay for the extras. That applies to clothing, school supplies, or anything else, especially where your teenager decides they want the better, more expensive version of the items in question. Let them pay for the extras and they will appreciate their money much more or will learn to do without the most expensive item.

    If you help them with the purchase of a car, offer to match them dollar for dollar toward the car. If you do plan to buy the car for them, make them responsible for the payment of the insurance, gas, and other extras. That will also have the added benefit of teaching them to respect and take care of their automobile.

    I hope this article has given you some ideas about how to teach your teen how to handle credit and money. Just to repeat one thing, remember that what you teach your teen about money and credit now will determine how successful they will be later in life. So take the time to teach them.

    Parenting - it can be fun

    Like so many of us, in my early stages of parenthood I took a very traditional, mainstream approach to caring for my first-born. I’m thrilled to say that today I’ve grown. For the betterment and health of my children, I examined new ways of doing things. By listening, not only to my heart, but to my babies, and opening my mind to those around me willing to share their wisdom and experiences, I believe I’ve created a bond with my children that will last a lifetime.

    Because of this, I hope to share some of my misconceptions and solutions with others, in hope of enlightening them to truly examine their parenting options and methods, and ask themselves if they believe they are as close to their little one’s as they believe they should be. I am here to tell you that raising a baby can truly be a beautiful experience.

    My son right now is sleeping. He is sick, poor little man. It’s just a cold, nothing too serious, but my heart aches to make it better, to bend over backward to provide him some relief. My old instincts with my daughter were; run to the store; buy medicine, and give her dose after dose to make the symptoms better. It’s not good for little ones to have the sniffles, right?

    I was 22 when my daughter was born; I thought I knew it all. I had read the books, performed research online, taken Lamaze classes for childbirth, and completed both a “new parents” class and a breastfeeding class. I was totally prepared to have my daughter; or so I thought.

    Things were tough with her. I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but she had a hard time latching on. The “class” I took did me little to no good. All the “strategies” I was taught, I had forgotten. The methods that worked with the baby doll in class were in no way effective with a moving, screaming newborn. The Lactation consultant at the hospital said, “you’re fine, doing it fine, just keep it up, you’ll get it.” So, I trusted this person knew what she was talking about. And I listened. I didn’t seek more help; I didn’t even realize more help was actually available.

    She could not latch. It got to the point where I was hysterical. I was crying, basically praying to God that He not let my baby wake up, because feeding her had become such a traumatic experience. It was truly a sad situation; one that I will never forget.

    Well, I know now, the reason behind the difficulties was simple. Not only was I uncomfortable, I was scared. Breastfeeding was foreign to me. I had not seen it done, I personally was not breastfed, nor was my husband at the time. Having the baby there freaked me out, and having her sucking on me was almost worse.

    I did know that breast milk was best, so I bought an electric Breast Pump. I then started pumping every two hours, in order to feed her the “best food” through a bottle. Though I had no idea how MUCH to pump, so I got more milk than my baby could ever drink. To give you an idea of approximately how much I pumped, after Aubrey was fed breast milk the entire first year of her life, I was still able to ship over 50 pounds of breast milk to Mothers Milk Bank in Austin Texas. (http://www. mmbaustin. org/) The Mother’s Milk Bank is a great facility. Their mission: “The Mothers' Milk Bank at Austin is a non-profit organization whose mission is to accept, pasteurize and dispense donor human milk by physician prescription primarily to premature and ill infants.” (Provided by http://www. mmbaustin. org)

    Other things I just “knew” before I had her, included babies should be laid down as much as possible, they need to become independent. Babies need to sleep on their own from the beginning and at 6 months they need to “learn” to fall asleep themselves.

    Aubrey was as a baby, I am ashamed to say, Furberized (Dr. Furber’s method of parenting and getting kids to sleep is letting them Cry It Out). She was laid on the floor or placed in a swing or car seat a lot. She wasn’t connected to me at all. There were times I felt more like her nanny than her mother. Part of the reason for all of this was my now ex-husband’s belief that Aubrey needed a schedule and structure, and she needed to be in her own bed; the fact that I had read all of those books contributed to the confusion as well. I wanted to be the best parent ever, so I thought reading the books was the way to make that happen.

    Frankly, I never once listened to my body, my heart or her cries. Don’t get me wrong, I was not abusive, but we did let her cry, especially after 6 months when we Furberized her to get her to learn how to sleep. I did not listen to the chemical changes in my body when my daughter cried; I did not learn her cues, and we struggled on a day-to-day basis. (“When your baby cries there is an actual chemical reaction in your body, prolactin the ‘mothering hormone’ is releised and your body physically gets ready to breastfeed.” Statement provided by: http://www. consciouschoice. com/1999/cc1210/parenting1210.html)

    Then through a series of events that are not relevant, Aubrey’s father and I divorced. I started easing up a bit; I did still believe what all the books said, but I also started thinking maybe I should listen to what Aubrey was trying to say, and my heart as well.

    Four years later, at 26, after being a mother for several years, I got pregnant with my son. I had always wanted to be a Mother, but I struggled with the idea of keeping my son. I was opposed to an abortion; but I was not working at the time, and I had a 4-year-old daughter to support. I did more thinking and crying in the first couple months of that pregnancy than I think I have in my entire life.

    Unfortunately, within a week of knowing I was pregnant, Zachary’s father decided that he did not want to be a part of Zachary’s life, and signed away his rights to him. So it was all up to me. It was not easy, but in the end I decided to listen to my heart, trust myself and my faith in God, and know that God would never give me more than I could handle. I decided to keep him. It was one of the most frightening and difficult decisions I have ever made not because I did not want or love Zachary, but because I wanted the absolute best for Zachary!

    With that decision behind me, then came the thoughts of how I would parent him. I knew that there had to be better methods than those I used with my daughter. She had been so detached from me. Again, I turned to my heart, listened, and tried to trust myself. Over time, I’ve gradually learned that trusting my own judgment is a major accomplishment.

    I was determined to breastfeed. Come hell or high water, I would breastfeed. So I started looking for help before my son was born, joining my local La Leche League (http://www. lalecheleague. org/) “The La Leche League International mission is: To help mothers worldwide to breastfeed through mother-to-mother support, encouragement, information, and education and to promote a better understanding of breastfeeding as an important element in the healthy development of the baby and mother.” The League has wonderful support groups, and great leaders, that really CARE about your breastfeeding success!!

    I wrote up a plan, and on that plan I pledged that Zachary was not to have any bottles at all after birth, and I stuck to it. Again, breastfeeding wasn’t easy. Zachary had a hard time latching. I had a lot of extra milk and over active let down. We struggled hard in those first few days and weeks.

    However, despite the difficulties, instead of crying and hoping my son would never wake up, I spent many nights just staring at the wonder of him. I would stroke his hair and breathe his new baby smell, soaking in every detail of who he was. I am sitting here crying as I think of this time; what an amazing experience that was.

    After we left the hospital the fun began. And this time it really was fun. Though many in my family and those around me felt that Zachary was more work than Aubrey, for me, it was far less.

    I held Zachary all the time

    Did you know that it’s physically impossible to hold a baby too much? I nursed him on demand, and did not let him cry. If he cried, it was with in the loving wrap of my arms. Everyone told me I would spoil him, but even science says: “Attachment studies have spoiled the spoiling theory. Researchers Drs. Bell and Ainsworth at John Hopkins University studied two sets of parents and their children. Group A were attachment-parented babies. These babies were securely attached, the products of responsive parenting. Group B babies were parented in a more restrained way, with a set schedule and given a less intuitive and nurturing response to their cues. All these babies were tracked for at least a year. Which group do you think eventually turned out to be the most independent? Group A, the securely attached babies. Researchers who have studied the affects of parenting styles on children's later outcome have concluded, to put it simply, that the spoiling theory is utter nonsense.”

    Not only does science support my new way of parenting, so did my heart. And, it ended up being FAR less work than the way I had tried to parent before. I utilized new tools, that I had no knowledge of after my first pregnancy, like baby carriers. Traditional things like swings and bouncers did not work for Zachary; he wanted to be with me. So I took to slinging him daily, constantly just about, and it was far more effective as other tools we tried.

    Think about it, what’s the ONE thing they tell new parents, that babies like best, learn from best and want around most? You and your face. Babies learn from the face and actually like looking at it better than anything else in the world. Why do you think a baby can see best within 6-8 inches of their face? That’s the traditional distance between their nursing face and your face! They like to look at you and love the natural sway of your body.

    Attachment parenting is not something I knew about before I had my son or my daughter. My finding the phrase for it was by pure accident, though I am so glad I did. It so helps to know other mom’s like me, and know I am not alone.

    For me attachment parenting is not about following a set of rules, although there are “guidelines” that reinforce the theory of “attachment parenting”. Attachment parenting can include things like Emotional Responsiveness, Breastfeeding, Baby wearing, Shared Sleep, Avoiding Prolonged Separation, Positive Discipline and maintaining a balance in your family life.

    If for one reason or another sharing sleep, for example, is not for you, rest assured that would not at all imply that you’re not an attached parent or that you’re “bad” in some way. All aspects of attachment parenting are not for everyone. Being an attached parent is more or less just a general term, for loving and becoming in-tune to, and more responsive with your own baby.

    All parents love their children, but many don’t “know” their children. One cry sounds like every other; one gesture is just like the rest. An attached parent is much more likely to know and understand their baby’s wants and needs and do something about them. Knowing the difference between a cry of hunger from a cry from fear would be a good example.

    Babies don’t do things to manipulate us; they do things because that’s all they can do, to get the response they need from the people that love them. Until birth, all they’ve known is being in a warm, cozy place where they were never hungry or hurt. Now, all of a sudden they are thrust into the world of lights, loud noises, hunger, experiencing pain and feeling cold! How scary it must be for them. Attachment Parenting is about realizing that, and allowing ourselves to be nurturing.

    In closing, be true to yourself, your marriage (or relationship), and to your baby and/or children. Trust that in the end no matter what kind of parent you are, your children are blessed to have you in their lives. There are many different ways to parent, I hope that you will open your mind to the different possibilities out there, look “outside” the mainstream line of things, and more to the natural side of things. There are many places to get awesome attachment parenting products to help you in your quest, as well as websites with a lot more information. I suggest Attachment Parenting International (http://www. attachmentparenting. org/) which has support groups, and other information, and Kelly Mom is also a great website for help with breastfeeding. (http://www. kellymom. com) to name a few.

    Your reference guide to caring for a baby

    Bringing a new baby home is a time for great joy and celebration. There are so many exciting experiences waiting for the happy family. But, it doesn’t take long for mom and dad to discover that caring for a newborn baby, while joyful, can be demanding and exhausting. They also discover that their baby definitely has a mind of his or her own and will make his or her presence felt in a hundred and one ways - not all of them amusing. As most parents will tell you, it’s all a matter of practice and patience.

    Feeding your baby: The first you will need to make is whether to breastfeed or bottle-feed your baby. Research shows that, in most cases, breast milk is the best food for your baby. But some mothers cannot or prefer to not breastfeed. Baby formula is a healthy alternative. Always remember to burp your baby gently after a feeding. While feeding from a bottle, make sure your baby is not taking in air bubbles. A newborn baby will need to eat every few hours around the clock so be prepared for interrupted sleep. When your baby is ready to accept semi-solids and solids, introduce one food at a time. Allow him or time to get used to each food. Avoid baby foods with additives.

    Diapering: You will need to decide if you are going to use cloth diapers or disposable diapers. If you decide on cloth diapers you may want to consider using a diaper service. Each option has its own pros and cons. Parents usually make a decision based on time, convenience, environmental concerns and financial considerations. The best advice I’ve received is to avoid a puritanical fascination for any one type of diaper. I use a combination of cloth and disposable. I use cloth at home and disposable diapers when I’m running errands with the baby, visiting friends and relatives, or traveling.

    Bathing and Grooming: That first bath at home can be scary for a parent. Until your baby’s umbilical cord stub falls off, only give sponge baths. A baby bathtub makes giving your bath easier and safer. Before placing your baby in the water, test it will your elbow to make sure it’s not too hot or too cold. Never leave your baby unattended while he or she is in the bath. After the bath, bundle your baby up in a nice fluffy towel and dry him or her thoroughly. Make sure the umbilical area is dry and that the eyes, ears and nose are clean. You may need to clean these with a wet washcloth, but never insert buds into them. Trim your baby’s nails just after a bath.

    Sleeping: Experts recommend putting your baby to sleep on his or her back. It’s not uncommon for a baby to wake at least once during the night until he or she is about a year old. The younger the baby, the more times he or she will wake during the night for feeding and changing. Feed, change, and comfort your baby when he or she wakes up at night but don’t turn those “awake” periods at night into playtime or it will be harder for you to get your baby to the point of sleeping through the night.

    Common health problems include colic, diaper rash, cradle cap, skin rashes and ear infections. Many of these problems need just a little extra care and patience. Call your doctor with any concerns or questions. If your baby is in pain, take him or her in for a doctor visit.

    Traveling: A common question of parents is when it is safe to travel by air with a baby. You should wait at least two weeks after the baby is born to take him or her on a trip that includes a flight. After that, most experts say it is safe to travel by air with your baby as long as your baby is not sick. When traveling, pack all the items you need along with plenty of extra clothes and diapers. If traveling by air, call the airline to make arrangements for taking your baby’s car seat or carrier and stroller (a combination car seat/stroller works great) on the plane.

    Safety and comfort are two of the most important things to keep in mind when you handle your baby. It is a good idea to have a fairly regular schedule for bathing, feeding, playing and sleeping. Your baby will always respond to a warm, loving environment. Hold your baby, cuddle him or her and respond to his or her cries. It is impossible to ‘spoil’ a little baby. Let your love overflow. Most of all enjoy early parenthood - kids grow up very fast.

    When parents disagree

    title:When Parents Disagree

    author:Patty Hone

    source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_144.shtml

    date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



    Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting would be easier if you didn't have to make family decisions? Having a partner that is not in agreement with your parenting ideas or discipline approaches is more than just frustrating. It can be a cause of division in even the best of relationships. Furthermore, how you handle your disagreements will have a direct impact on your relationship with your partner and with your children.

    It would be great if every couple agreed on everything but that is an unlikely event. One partner may have been raised in a relaxed environment; another may have been raised in a very strict home. What is acceptable by one partner may be appalling to another. It is important to discuss with your partner what your parenting objectives are. Decide what values are important to both of you. You will find that some things are more important to you than to your partner and vice versa. Here are some steps you can do to work towards resolving parenting disagreements.

    1. Discuss your parenting objectives. What is important to both of you? Sit down with your partner and decide what values are most important. Also what areas are not as important?

    2. Talk about where your children are developmentally and what they are capable of understanding. Sometimes the reasons for parenting disputes are because one partner thinks that a child is capable of understanding something and the other disagrees. Knowing what your child's cognitive level is will help you to make better decisions. Do not compare your child to other children. You can use examples based on what they are capable of doing and not doing. For instance, if you ask them to get something out of their toy box, do they understand and go get it? If not expecting your child to be able to understand certain things may be unreasonable.

    3. Find out what both of your parenting strengths and weaknesses are. Many times both parents want the same things for their kids. Compliment your partner on his/her strengths. Don't just point out your partner's flaws.

    4. The majority of parenting disagreements are over discipline methods and when it is appropriate to discipline. One parent may think that spanking is the best method and the other may prefer time outs or something else. One of the most effective ways to resolve this issue is to talk about it. Find out the reasons why your partner feels the way he/she does. There are pros and cons to every form of parenting. Talk about why your partner thinks his/her discipline style is the better method. Sometimes talking about it will help you to see each other's point of view.

    5. If the discussion gets heated, agree to disagree. Fighting about how to parent is only going to make the situation worse. Walk away, take a break and discuss it when you are not angry.

    6. Plan ahead. Discuss problem situations you are having with your children. For instance, if you are having a problem with your child having temper tantrums, discuss how you think this should be handled. If you have a plan in action, it will be easier for both of you to follow each other's wishes.

    7. Pick your battles. Some things you may never agree on. You don't have to agree on everything. Find the issues that are most important to you and work on resolving those first.

    8. Do not argue about parenting in front of your children. This is easier said than done. The best way to handle a situation you don't agree with is not to interrupt but to wait till later and then discuss how you think it could have been handled differently.

    9. Work on role modeling communication. If your children see that you communicate and problem solve together, they will grow up to do the same. Children often repeat patterns of their own parents. Look at your relationship and evaluate how you communicate. Is this the way you would like your children to communicate with their future partner?

    10. Parenting and relationships are a growing process. The more you communicate the better parent/partner you will be. Learn from each other and listen to each other. Build on your parenting strengths and tackle your parenting weaknesses a little at a time. It won't happen over night but if you continue to discuss things with your partner calmly and positively you will become better parenting partners.

    Tip help your child to want to play the piano

    title:Tip! Help Your Child To Want To Play The Piano!

    author:Rita Selvi

    source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_928.shtml

    date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



    Tip! Help your child to want to play! (the Piano or any musical instrument)

    Help your child to want to play!

    Make him the hero and his playing of the song can only save "Winnie the Pooh!"

    Many parents who start their kids young on the piano will understand how challenging it can be to get them to play the piano (or whatever musical instrument the child has started with) on a regular basis.

    There are indeed numerous benefits our children can reap with music and learning a musical instrument. So much literature has been written about this and I am sure I do not need to belabour the point. Thus, getting our children to play and want to play on a consistent basis is important.

    One way I get my three-year old son to play regularly is to create a story for him where he needs to play a different song to save a little dog, a squirrel or even Winnie the Pooh! My son becomes quite determined to play the song so that the poor animal is saved and the spell that the supposed wicked witch has cast on the animal is broken.

    This approach appeals to the goodness that is inherent in every child and their love for animals or a favourite cartoon character.

    If you want your child to practice a particular song more than once, you can vary the approach by saying "Only the playing of Beethoven's 9th Symphony 3 times can save Winnie and make the boat reach the shore!"

    With a little bit of imagination and patient encouragement on your part, your child's regular practice sessions can be something both of you can look forward to.

    I sincerely hope this helps your child too.

    Have fun with your child as he plays his fave musical instrument!

    My love to him or her!

    Warmest Wishes,

    Rita Selvi

    www. improvefast. com

    www. smartplay. com

    www. kidsmasterpiece. com

    www. bizolsg. ws

    Five tips for successful grandparenting

    title:Five Tips for Successful Grandparenting

    author:Don Schmitz

    source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_56.shtml

    date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



    1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.

    All children need and must learn to respect boundaries. Being clear about expectations before an activity begins frees you and the child to enjoy the event and ensures the safety of everyone involved. If you observe the boundaries are being violated, don’t be afraid to remind your grandchildren again. Restate the rules as many times as necessary. Writing the rules and posting them or bringing them along is a good idea. If a rule is violated during the activity, ask the child to repeat or read the rules again.

    2. Gift giving is not a requirement of grandparenting.

    Establish a practice with your first grandchild and stick with it; what you do for one doesn’t necessarily have to be done for all. Financial and family situations change as our children grow. If a family experiences loss of a job or divorce, don’t be afraid to make temporary changes. Gifts are gifts especially when they are unexpected. Surprise gifts are the best. Gifts don’t have to cost a lot. Research supports the fact that “time together” is the best gift we can give. Travel provides time for the grandparent and grandchildren to discover and appreciate each other’s gifts.

    3. All rules must be consistent with parents’ wishes.

    Anything you do with and for your grandchild needs to be discussed first with the parents. After all, parents make the rules and effective grandparents support them.

    Don’t keep secrets from the parents and don’t ask the grandchildren to keep secrets from their parents. Many grandparents believe that some information should not be shared with the parents, but this only undermines the relationships.

    4. There is no substitute for planning.

    Proper planning ensures that the activity will be discussed with the parents. No matter what the age or sex of your grandchild, planning makes any activity more successful. This is not to say you can’t be spontaneous, but it’s often better and safer to have a plan.

    Discuss with the child what he or she would like to do. Give careful thought to the age appropriateness of the activities before you begin. Giving children choices increases their self-confidence and is great training for the future.

    5. Grandchildren and grandparents want to have fun!

    There is no substitute for good old-fashioned belly laughs. It's good for you, your grandchild and your relationship. During the activity itself, share with your grandchildren how excited you are about being with them.

    Children enjoy getting away from their parents for short periods of time and grandparents enjoy being part of a very important relationship. Parents enjoy their break too.

    Developing leadership qualities in your child

    Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made. Do you think this is true? How many times did you read a biography of a great leader, and discovered that as a child, he has been quiet, reserved and rather shy? Are those natural qualities of a leader? Of course not! These people have developed their leadership qualities later in life.

    Would you like your child to be a leader?

    What are the qualities of a leader? Here are some of the qualities required to be a leader, and how you can encourage the development of these qualities in your child.

    Integrity - remember to be a good example, a role model for your child. Parents teach by example, and integrity is a quality kids learn from their parents. Talk with your child about integrity. One tool that is very helpful is story telling. Look for books that tell about the value of integrity.

    Courage - always praise courage. When your child shows courage, notice it and praise it. Praise courage wherever you see an expression of it. Story telling is also very effective in this case.

    Creative, independent thinking. In order to develop this quality, it is very helpful to ask questions. When you talk with your child about any subject at all, always ask open questions, that encourage creative thinking. Use the "One Step Farther" principle. After you have gotten all the obvious answers, ask one more question, to come up with a deeper, more creative idea. Questions like "why", "what would happen if...", "how do you think did it feel...", encourage your child to think creatively. Talk to your child, encourage independent thinking.

    In addition, it is also important to listen to your child. When your child has a creative, unusual suggestion, never negate it or laugh at it. Always treat your child's ideas with respect.

    Confidence - this is one of the most important qualities required for success in general. To develop confidence in your child, avoid criticizing your child, praise your child sincerely and often, develop a habit to talk about your child's strengths and achievements with him every day. Remember to make it a point to bring up at least one good quality of your child every day. If you adopt it as a routine, over time it will do wonders for your child. It takes only a few minutes to mention an achievement or a strength (a good quality). Encourage your child, repeat the phrase "you can do it" often.

    A leader takes responsibility. When something goes wrong, sometimes it makes us feel better if we can blame something else or someone else. A leader takes responsibility. Make sure your child knows that he is the "boss" in his life. His success is his responsibility. We are not victims of our environment, we have control over our life. Teach your child to "come from a place of power". When your child blames someone else or something else for a mishap, or comes up with excuses, you have an opportunity to encourage your child to assume responsibility. Make sure that your child knows that it is Ok to make mistakes. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn. You can help your child draw conclusions, without "making him wrong", by asking: "what did you learn from this?", "what do you think went wrong?", "why do you think this happened?", "how could you avoid this?" and again "what do you think would happen if...?". Your child should understand that he has no control over other people, and is not expected to have control over other people's actions, but he has full control over his own reaction. This will give your child the feeling of power, as opposed to "being a victim".

    The conversations that you hold with your child have a profound effect on your child's future. Make sure you take the time to talk with your child every day, to be involved with what is happening in your child's life. To support, encourage and inspire. By doing that, you are being a leader, and you are developing your child's leadership skills.

    More tips to personalize baby gifts

    title:More Tips to Personalize Baby Gifts

    author:Isaac Rubens

    source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_677.shtml

    date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



    By the time you finish reading this, you will know how one can buy baby gift items that will stand out from all the others through personalization. In the market today, one has a wide range of options to choose from. Unique baby gifts and baby gift baskets of the highest quality are available. One might want to buy baby shower gifts. A range of unique and creative baby gifts and accessories await you if you are going shopping for your baby. Personalized keepsakes can last a lifetime and one would prefer a personalized baby gift rather than a simple one which has no personal touch. Buy baby gift items and personalize them to add value and uniqueness.

    All About Personalized Gifts for Your Baby

    An enormous list of options available for personalization includes silver gift sets, silver photo frames, birth candles, bone china, pewter and glass products. You could personalize china plates in 22ct gold with the child's full name, place and date of birth. They make a very special newborn baby gift. When looking to buy baby gift items for personalization, a gift with lasting appeal certainly adds value.

    Another option is personalized children's music CDs. Kids enjoy singing along to songs and will certainly love hearing their own name sung in the lyrics of the songs. Along with their great entertainment value, these personalized CDs help to build self-esteem and develop self-confidence in the baby.

    Baby gift baskets are another great option. They are filled with great things for both mom and baby. They are the perfect pick as baby shower gifts, newborn baby gifts, as a first and second birthday baby gift. Browse all baby gift baskets and see that the basket is not filled with useless and cheap trinkets. See to it that the baby gift baskets have practical, useful and fun stuff within them.

    Other possible choices which help the little one feel comfortable in their first bedroom include artwork, hand painted furniture, bedding and cribs designed and personalized for the baby. Comfortable baby blankets and cozies can be found in this category as well.

    Another choice is personalized books for children. For sale are deluxe framed names, in which the name of the child is written alongside beautifully illustrated pictures for each initial and the origin and meaning of the name is explained.

    Soft toys, which babies love to have, can be personalized as well. included are a number of personalized teddy bears, with embroidered details. The best part is that a personalized bear can include any name or message up to 50 characters long, from a simple birthday greeting to complete name and birth details.

    A mug can also be personalized with around 50 characters and kids love to have their early morning drink in them.

    Baby clothes are an item that parents cannot get enough of. Of course, many different ways of personalizing clothing exist, such as embroidery, hand-painting, and iron-on artwork.

    Keep in mind the following while looking to buy baby gift items:

    - The age of the baby while making the selection

    - See that the quality of the selected gift is good.

    - If the baby loves music, give him a personalized CD

    - Buy clothing items a few sizes larger so the baby can grow into them if shopping for personalized t-shirts etc.

    How to listen to your teenager without appearing to have attention deficit disorder add

    title:How to Listen to Your Teenager without Appearing to Have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

    author:V. Michael Santoro, M. Ed.

    source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/parenting/article_357.shtml

    date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:16



    In one of the Family Circus cartoon strips, the little girl looks up at her father, who is reading the newspaper, and says, "Daddy, you have to listen with your eyes as well as your ears." That statement says almost all there is to say about listening. Being a good listener means focusing attention on the message and reviewing the important information.

    Listening can be considered an art, as well as a skill, and like other skills, it requires that you exhibit some discipline to be effective. However, in today's world where multitasking is considered essential to surviving in the workplace, it is not uncommon to be talking on the phone while we are reading mail or sending e-mail, and simultaneously conducting hand signals with a co-worker who needs your input about something important.

    However, when it comes to communicating with your teenagers, you have to separate yourself from this multitasking communications style, and learn how to focus 100 percent of your time on her when she needs to talk to you. If you do not, she will perceive this distracted behavior as a lack of interest in her.

    Thus, during your conversations with your teen, you must ignore your own needs, demonstrate patience, and pay attention to her. Hearing becomes listening only when you pay attention to what is being said, and can contribute to the conversation.

    So how good are your listening skills?

    Answer the following "yes or no" statements honestly:

    1. I make assumptions about my teens feelings and thoughts

    2. I bring up past issues during current disagreements

    3. I interrupt my teenager's conversation

    4. I respond to a complaint with a complaint

    5. I respond to my teen with phrases like, "That's ridiculous."

    If you answered "yes" to any of these statements, then there is some room for improvement in your listening skills.

    What to do

    Use the following guidelines to help improve your listening skills:

    1. Maintain eye contact with your teen during conversations. Good eye contact allows you to keep focused and involved in the conversation.

    2. Be interested and attentive. Your teen will sense whether you are interested or not by the way you reply or not reply to her.

    3. Focus on "what" your teen is saying and not "how" she is saying it. If she is upset, for example, she may be exhibiting body language that may be distracting.

    4. Listen patiently and avoid getting emotionally involved in the conversation. If you do so, you will tend to hear what you want to hear, as opposed to what is really being said. Your goal is to remain objective and open-minded during your discussions.

    5. Avoid cutting your teenager off while she is speaking. This will show her that you respect her right to have an opinion, as well as to freely express it.

    6. Avoid distractions or trying to multitask during your conversations. This may be okay at work, however your teen may perceive that you have a terminal case of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). :)


    It may be helpful to have a practice conversation with your teenager rather than wait to try and be a better listener when she comes to you with a "real world" problem. Inform her that she is really important to you, and that you want to be a better listener. Then tell her that you need her help.

    Referring to the above guidelines, have her tell you about her day while you demonstrate your listening skills. Then ask her how you did and what you could have done better. Remember not to get defensive and conclude by thanking her for her help. Doing this on a regular basis will not only improve your overall listening skills, but also will make your teenager want to talk to you.

    Adult bed wetting what is the solution

    Adult bed wetting is a common problem as you can see from all the TV ads about bedwetting disposable diapers available for adults. The first thing for adults to do when they have a bed-wetting problem is to consult with a doctor to make sure that there is nothing medically wrong to cause this problem to develop. Bedwetting in the adult years can be a symptom of diabetes, kidney or bladder problems or something as simple as a urinary tract infection, for which there are antibiotics. Even though disposable diapers do help adults feel more comfortable, adult bed wetting does need to be checked out.

    Allergies, cell anemia, and sleep disorders are also causes for adult bed wetting. Researchers dealing with this problem have also found psychological factors to be involved, such as stress and trauma. In some cases, age is the culprit as the muscles of the bladder start to lose their elasticity causing adult bed-wetting. Enuresis alarms work just as well for adults as they do for children and teenagers. These alarms wake you up out of your sleep at the first sign of moisture so that you do have time to get to the bathroom instead of wetting the bed.

    There are medications that have proven effective in controlling adult bed wetting. One of these is DDAVP, which helps to reduce the amount of urine that the body makes at night. Adults who drink a lot of liquids may have to use the bathroom more at night and if they take medication for insomnia, then they might find it hard to wake up when they need to. This medication helps to treat the symptoms of adult bed-wetting, which means that you will not urinate as often during the night. However, this is not a cure for adult bedwetting. It is mainly a measure to control it. Once you stop taking the medication, bedwetting will start again.

    You do not necessarily need to take DDAVP every day in order for it to control adult bed wetting. You can either take this as pill or a spray, but a cold or a stuffy nose is likely to interfere with the action of the medication taken in spray form. You do have to take the medication at night and it does have side effects, which some adults are unable to handle. The common side effects of this adult bedwetting medication include headache, nausea, sinus problems and nosebleeds. When you are taking this medication you are not allowed to drink any water after taking it.

    For adults, Imipramine is an anti-depressant drug that has been found effective in treating adult bed wetting. Like DDAVP, this reduces the amount of urine the body produces during the night. However, most doctors do not like to prescribe this medication because of its many side effects. In fact prescribing medication for adult bedwetting is usually the last resort. Doctors prefer to try methods of behavior modification first and if the adult is comfortable, disposable diapers keep the bed sheets dry at night. Adult bed wetting is a problem that doctors are well used to dealing with, so there is no need for embarrassment when deciding to talk to a doctor about your problem.

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