Should you get revenge on an ex-girlfriend

Falling in love and entering with someone in a relationship is a really nice experience. But in a relationship, it is not always a happy ending. And you may have experienced being ditched by your man for somebody else or for any other reason. After your breakup, you might have thought of hatching ex girlfriend revenge plots to him. You are heart-broken and it is just natural that you feel rage after. But being a revenge ex girlfriend is not necessary the best thing to be.

If you are going through a breakup, you should keep in mind that being revenge ex girlfriend will never do any good to you or to your ex partner who have hurt you so bad. You may think that it is your only outlet to get over him but actually it is not. The more you hate the person, the more you are prolonging your agony. Ex girlfriend revenge can only cause you more hurt and could even ruin your life. When you are angry, there is always a tendency for you to hurt others and think of ex girlfriend revenge. And you might just regret doing it in the end. In order to avoid being a revenge ex girlfriend, there are things which you should bear in mind and actions that you have to take.

Move on and get on with your life. Instead of nurturing the hurt that you feel, you should look at the brighter side of life and move on. If you prefer to be a revenge ex girlfriend, your life will be stuck in that anger forever and you will make your life more miserable. Dwelling on that revenge can only stir up the ashes of your own hurt and resentment. Bear in mind that you are causing more harm to yourself than the other person. Ex girlfriend revenge will never share the pain, but it will just increase it. Always consider that poorly conceived ex girlfriend revenge plots might wind up making you look bad, thus it makes you feel worse. If you think of ex girlfriend revenge as getting even, well think again. Why should you want to get even with a loser in the first place?

Forgive and forget. In order to completely move on, you must learn to forgive your ex boyfriend and you should start to forget what happened. Ex girlfriend revenge will keep you from forgiving and forgetting. If you keep on hating and despising that person, there will never be a room for forgiveness. Instead of entertaining ex girlfriend revenge on your thoughts, you should erase past hurt from your system so it won’t be hard for you to forgive, let go, and move on. You should also let go of those grudges and resentments to completely make your life free from misery. Ex girlfriend revenge is one thing that can never make you happier and more of a person. You should really try to invoke forgiveness.

There is nothing wrong in loving. They even say that it is better to love and lost than to never love at all. But always remember that if ever a worst breakup comes in your way, never resort to ex girlfriend revenge. Revenge ex girlfriend can never be the sweetest thing you know. The more you hate, the more you add to your misery. So instead of thinking of an ex girlfriend revenge, why don’t you just let go, forgive, forget, and move on. Remember that when a door closes, a window opens.

Jealousy a lonely place to be

You really have to experience this emotion to understand its strong hold on a persons mind. Not only their mind, but their entire being.

I have been asking and asking questions regarding jealousy from people that experience it and people that have to deal with it through someone close to them.

I have written an article and I will let you read part of it before I continue with my thoughts.

"Jealousy as many women knows is a very hard emotion to control , it takes your stomach and twists it into knots until you scream for release. Problem is when we scream it is usually misunderstood and frowned upon.

Jealousy has a mind of its own and it is strong enough to make us believe and see things that are not even there or that have not happened yet.

Jealousy can cloud our what is most of the time clear thinking.

Jealousy can make us worry and put our minds into a prison that we cannot escape, it locks the doors and does not let us out till it wants to.

Jealousy can keep our minds from sleep because it knows that sleep makes us strong and will help us to fight it.

Jealousy knows no rational thinking , feels as though it has no reason or rhyme, which makes it very hard to get support from people around us, and even harder to try to explain why we react as we do when we are captivated by this horrible emotion.

Jealousy does have a weakness though and that is LOVE and TRUST and women helping women to figure ways to combat this nasty thing that grows inside of us.

Jealousy can be redirected and from our site and all the help of women out there joining together we will defeat this , one step at a time.

I will not stop till I unlock and set myself free from Jealousy."

Jealousy is very much connected or may be even caused by ones low self-esteem. It depends on the elements that each person experiences. People of every size and gender can be afflicted by this emotional nightmare. It truly is a mind set.

There are several types of jealousy: mistrust caused by a breach of trust. mistrust caused by ones own infidelities, and the real beast that is born inside us without any reason we can explain.

Each one is a hardship and pulls us down into the loneliest place.

Imagine having a fear, and your mouth is glued shut so you are unable to voice your pain and terror. This is a small example of how a person feels when their jealousy takes a hold of their mind. If they talk about it, they appear accusing and confrontational. Others feel they are being attacked for something they have no control of. It truly is a no win situation for anyone involved. But to keep it glued inside only gives birth to an ugly seed of pain, agony and real loneliness.

It feeds on our strength making us weak in our judgement of what is real and whats not. We are in a prison that separates us from a world of happiness.

Why I ask? Why are we in this prison when we did not ask to be? We broke no rules to be punished for. When we look at another person, we see only what we wish to be.

It blinds us of who we are and what we have to offer to the world. It captivates our minds to the point of no return in many cases has caused terrible results.

People think that one can just say "Go Away". We wish it was that easy. If jealousy could be defeated with a mere thought, we would be in a truly perfect world. Do you really think we enjoy this lonely place? I know that I would much rather be in a happy place anytime.

Jealousy does have one fear, that is "Love". Love conquers all and that is as real as the pain we feel inside when we are imprisoned by the fears of jealousy.

Also as funny as it sounds, to trust a person imprisoned by jealousy is as important as wanting that person to trust you. We need to know that you trust us and that you know that we are not in control of this thing that causes us to fear life.

To know you are on our side and want to help us defeat this loneliness will truly give us that extra bit of strength that we need and the will to combat our own fears.

We also need to focus on our minds and through help from our friends and others that feel our loneliness, use that strength to work against the negative thoughts that jealousy controls. We must tell ourselves that we are safe, we are loved, and we are needed. We must focus on the good around us and use our thought energy to force positive thoughts in place of negative ones. When we do defeat our negative mind, we should pat ourselves on our backs, because this is truly a conquest. Identify with the fact that you have won and the win will be greater the next time. It will happen, we just need to continue to search for ways to a higher self-esteem.

Together ladies we will conquer this loneliness. Strength is in numbers and that we have. To close my thoughts, I leave you with a quote sent to me by one of my sweetest friends and members of my website.

Stacy , you are beautiful and thank you again.

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty."

Asian dating respect and honour

title:Asian Dating - Respect and Honour

author:Frank Duru

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_151.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Honour and respect are two of the most important elements in Asian culture, and they shouldn't be overlooked when it comes to dating. For instance, traditionally, Asian women are taught at a young age to know their place around men, treat them with respect and accommodate them, while men are taught to protect and provide for the women. Although these traditions have become a faded practice in Western culture, respect still plays an important role in the Asian dating scene.

If you are Asian and are seeking a serious relationship with a man or woman from your ethnic culture, you will need to take into consideration that every move you make could be watched carefully by your partner's family, who may very well act as the third party to your date. With this in mind, here are a few tips you will want to think about when you begin dating:

Make an Impression - Be on your best behaviour. Listen to your date, create casual conversation, and be accommodating and thoughtful.

Treat your Date with Respect - Remember the saying "treat others as you would like to be treated", well this is when it really counts. Be considerate and patient, even if you find the topic of conversation to be of little interest to you. You should acknowledge what is important to your date and respect it.

Give them space - You don't want to come on too strong in the relationship, as this could either scare off your date, or make him or her jump to wrong conclusions. Creating a comfortable dating experience is the best way for you to discover if what you have found is an acquaintance, friend or potential lover.

Every once in a while visit the planet Earth - Be careful not to be mislead into believing that your dating relationship is something more than it is. Remember, not everyone is seeking a long term commitment (which could include you) therefore, before you let your imagination run wild from misinterpretation, make sure you take a realistic look at the relationship that is developing.

Above All have fun - Let's face it, the whole point to dating is about having a good time, and enjoying the other person's company, so don't be afraid to loosen up. Let your personality shine and take pleasure in your dating experiences.

In the end all that should matter when it comes down to dating, is that you and your date enjoy one another's company, are comfortable together, and share similar interests and values. If you find that there is no chemistry forming, it's time to say goodbye, and move on, regardless of how much your family may like him or her. After all, it is you who has to make the choice when it comes to your love life, for only you can determine who truly makes you happy. Therefore, grant yourself the respect and honour of making and standing by your dating decisions.

The top six romance killers and how to avert them

Remember the time your lover couldn’t keep his hands off you? And now, it seems, his hands are strictly for holding the remote, and he has eyes only for the TV.

What went wrong? Besides the fact that lifestyles today are more stressful than ever (a definite romance buster), most relationships go through predictable phases – from intense passion to a warm friendly glow to possible eventual indifference.

All couples, however, do not end up with indifference towards each other. Some even retain intense romance and passion for as long as they live. These relationships are not instances of chance or luck – the continued intimacy is a result of working on the relationship and not giving up on each other when the things look bleak.

If you are looking for more than just “holding on” to each other out of habit and wish to rekindle the flame of the early days of your romancing, here are some tips that will help you reach that goal:

Chores and additional responsibility: The greatest difference between the dating days and the living together days is the drastic change in responsibility levels. Money matters, household chores, and decision-making are the major areas of conflict.

For instance, you have never discussed who does what around the house, and when you see your partner sprawled on the couch while you are hard at work, it angers you. The best way to sidestep this hurdle is to work on communication. In this example, it would help to discuss division of chores and responsibilities before you start living together. Also, discuss money matters beforehand – who will spend on what, how much will be saved etc. If one partner puts in efforts to save money, and the other partner spends lavishly, the relationship is heading towards troubled waters. When we stop communicating, resentment builds up.

Resentment: Unresolved issues lead to bitterness and resentment. And when we resent our partner, we tend to start shutting him/her out of our lives. This is the beginning of indifference. Snip indifference in the bud by recognizing its signs and talking about the unresolved issue. Seek a closure.

Fitness & Health: High profile and highly demanding careers mean that we have little emotional energy to “give” at the end of the day. When both partners feel this way, they may end up snapping at each other for non-issues. And if you have been neglecting your health by eating junk food and not exercising, you feel constantly exhausted and irritable. So when both partners maintain a healthy (and fit) lifestyle, it helps their relationship.

Babies: Some say that the greatest test of the health a relationship is how it survives the entry of the new family member – the baby. Newborns can add to the stress of an already stressed relationship. If you don’t want your relationship to fall apart on account of the baby, make sure you are working on it before the baby is born – again, the key is open and honest communication.

Familiarity: At some point in the relationship we get comfortable enough with each other to burp in front of each other. This familiarity sometimes extends to not opening doors for our partner, and not carrying bags for her – little courtesies are forgotten. Even if we are comfortable with each other, behaving in a gentlemanly manner (or ladylike manner) when the occasion demands, keeps the romance alive.

Bickering: Most bickering is a reflection of a bigger problem – it is never really about the socks on the floor or the toothpaste tube cover - it is about how these gestures show that you don’t care enough about your partner to put in the effort. Bickering only increases your frustration because while the issue does not get resolved, you get labeled a “nag”. Talking in a constructive and positive manner about what bothers you is the best way to sidestep bickering.

Always remember to talk in a place that is free of distractions such as the TV or the baby. And while we’re going on about honest communication, remember the golden rule of speaking to your partner – it never hurts to be diplomatic. We’re saying, “be honest”, but that does not equal “be harsh”. Talk in a considerate, gentle and positive manner; and your partner will reward you by being responsive. And that is the beginning of rekindling the romance.

Do you want trust back in your relationship

TRUST is hard to earn, but easy to lose. And without TRUST, relationships come apart quickly.

Trust is the belief that a partner has your best interest at heart. And it is impossible to have a healthy relationship without trust.

Trust is a two-way street. Trust involves telling the truth AND being open to hearing what a partner has to say. But, sometimes the truth can be difficult to tell OR hear. When this happens, trust gets damaged and must be repaired.

Relationships are important - without doubt, one of the most important things we have.

At the same time, relationships are difficult, full of problems, and hard to maintain. So, knowing how to rebuild trust is an important skill to master.

Why is it important to rebuild trust?

For starters, being able to repair trust is essential to keeping a close, healthy relationship. And close relationships provide many benefits.

Individuals in close, healthy relationships live longer and enjoy better health. This gain is undoubtedly due to the fact that people in close relationships have a built-in emotional and physical support system – someone to care for them and provide comfort in times of need. Not only do people in close relationships live longer, but they report being happier and more satisfied with life than individuals who have a difficult time maintaining a healthy relationship.

Having a close relationship also provides many tangible benefits. Sharing resources with another person is a great way to get ahead in life. Two people working together can live better than what either person could do on their own. When individuals find someone to share life with both people come out ahead.

Furthermore, people in close relationships also receive more social support – that is, having someone who is attentive to their needs and concerns. And having social support creates a lot of benefits. Knowing that someone cares, allows individuals to handle life's problems more effectively. People who feel loved and supported make better decisions with less stress and anxiety.

Finally, having a companion makes life more enjoyable. Having someone to share life’s little things, like walking the dog, watching TV, eating meals is important; it makes life more entertaining and enjoyable.

All told, close relationships provide enormous benefits to people who are able to maintain healthy relationships.

Fight flight or loving action

Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano….

Fight or flight - today we automatically respond this way to the present dangers, the deep fears that come up in relationships: rejection and engulfment - fears of loss of other and loss of self.

Often, when we feel rejected and fear the loss of the other, we fight for love not to go away by defending, explaining, blaming, attacking, complying, fixing, or we flee through withdrawal. Often, when we feel engulfed and fear losing ourselves through being controlled by another, we flee through resistance or withdrawal, or fight by attacking, defending, or explaining. Just as our ancestors fought or fled from physical danger, we fight and flee from emotional danger. The problem is that, while fight or flight is appropriate in the face of physical danger, this same behavior in the face of emotional fear causes deep problems in relationships.

When we respond automatically to the fears of losing ourselves and losing another, we behave in the very ways that create fear in the other. Our fight or flight reactions create fear in the other person - the same fears of losing themselves or losing us. Our fighting and fleeing activates others’ fear of rejection and engulfment, creating a vicious circle of fighting and fleeing.

These unconscious, automatic reactions to emotional danger were learned long ago, when we were very small and had to rely on fight or flight as part of our survival. Today they are now longer necessary for our survival, and need to be replaced with loving actions toward ourselves and others.

What does it mean to take loving action in the face of another’s fight or flight behavior? Where do we get the role modeling for what it looks like to take loving action in the face of another’s unloving behavior? Most of us had parents who did not role model loving action in the face of conflict. We have not seen much of it on TV or in movies. How do we learn to take loving action in our own behalf when in conflict with another - action that takes care of ourselves without violating or threatening another?

This role modeling exists in the form of our spiritual Guidance. Tapping into this Guidance is not as hard as you may think - it just takes practice and a deep desire to move out of fight or flight and into loving action.

The steps we can take to move out of automatic fight or flight and into loving actions are:

1. Start to attend to your feelings, the physical sensations within your body that let you know when you are anxious or afraid.

2. Stop and breathe when you feel fear or anxiety in the face of conflict, or in the face of another’s fight or flight behavior. Give yourself some breathing time to make a conscious decision rather than go on automatic pilot.

3. Open to learning with the source of spiritual Guidance that is always here for all of us by asking with a sincere desire to know, “What is the loving action? What is in my highest good and the highest good of the other?” Asking this question with a deep desire to learn opens the door to receiving information. It does not matter whether you are asking this of your own highest self within, or from an external source of wisdom. The information will come in the form of words, pictures, or feelings when you sincerely want to be loving to yourself and others.

4. Take action on the information you receive.

Examples of loving action are:

1. Move into compassion for the other person, recognizing that he or she would not be in fight or flight without being in fear. Asking the other person, again from a deep desire to learn, what he or she is afraid of that is causing this behavior may de-escalate the situation and lead to understanding and healing.

2. If the other person is not open to calm discussion and exploration of the conflict, disengage from the interaction, speaking your truth without anger or blame. For example, you might say, “I don’t want to fight with you. I’m going to take a walk and let’s try to talk about it later.” Or, “This isn’t feeling good between us. Let’s take a break and get together later.”

3. If the other person has withdrawn from you, loving action may be to do something fun or nurturing for yourself.

Both staying and learning together or taking some time apart to reflect on the issues or self-nurture will break the cycle of each person going into fight or flight in reaction to the other person’s fight or flight. It takes conscious practice to stop going into automatic behavior, but the payoff is well worth the time it takes to practice loving action.

How to select a wedding videographer

title:How to Select a Wedding Videographer

author:Frank Stone

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_289.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

I know some of you are probably saying to yourselves "I can't afford a videographer, I'll just have my uncle Bill do it for free.". Well actually Videography is not as expensive as you might think, and your uncle Bill should be a guest at your wedding having a good time and not having to work. Videography is one of those businesses that has benefited greatly by advances in technology. The equipment has become more readily available, better quality, easier to use, and more adaptable to the wedding environment.

Videography is one of those things that you get what you pay for. On the other hand, you don't have to pay a huge amount to get a great video. I have been a videographer since the old days when Super VHS cameras where the main camera in the industry. At that time the editing decks were

also more expensive and more limited in their abilities. Today any good videographer worth his money is using a digital camera and a digital editor. There are a few things to consider when choosing a videographer; Price, Equipment, Choices, and last but certainly not least, personality.

Like I said before price is a big factor in everyone’s life, especially when it comes to a big ticket event like a wedding.

You have hundreds of expenses, and countless choices as to what stays in and what goes out. Let me tell you that some times some people spend way too much on a photographer, and nothing at all on a videographer. That is not a very good choice. Photography is a very important things to have, don't get me wrong, but if you do some shopping around you can afford both. The beauty of video is that you don't have to rely on your recollection of the event by looking at motionless soundless still shots. You pop in your DVD, and instantly you are back at your wedding day.

You can see yourself and your guests laughing and having fun. If any of your relatives are in another country or state and couldn’t make it to your wedding, you can send them the entire wedding on DVD instead of picking just a few pictures. We also specialize in making photo montages on DVD or VHS which are also very popular to send to relatives. On one DVD you can put hundreds of digital pictures. If you shop around a little you can find a professional videgrapher that will create a fantastic video for you at a reasonable price. We have packages starting at $350 and going up from there depending on how much you want done. I will warn you that some videographers think they are Spielberg and will want to charge you $5000. If your budget can accommodate that then that’s wonderful, but most people cannot. Most professional Videographers using

3 chip digital cameras as we do, and using computer non-linear editing software as we do, will charge you anywhere between $500 to $1000 for a wedding. Anything above or below that I suggest you give it a second look. If its too cheap then its someone just breaking into the business and you wont be happy with the results, and if its too high then you will probably be over paying.

The next thing you should look at is Equipment. Are they using the latest digital equipment or some dusty old cameras from the disco days and over charging for their work. Believe it or not there are still some Videographers out there using the old VHS cameras and selling themselves for top dollar. It's a case of caveat emptor (let the buyer beware). Find out what type of equipment they are using. The standard in the industry today is to use a 3 chip digital DV camera. DV Format is the best and Digital is obviously better then analog. The 3 chip refers to the inside of the camera having 3 separate computer chips that split up the visual spectrum and create a sharper and more vibrant image. For editing non-linear computer editing is the only way to go. Anything else is old and will not give you the most for your money.

Choices comes down to what will this company do for you. With our company for example we have packages that are suited to just about every budget, but since everyone is different we are able to customize each package to suit the needs of the client. With some companies the packages are written in stone and cannot be modified and there are no substitutions.

Personality is an easy one. Talk to the person who is actually going to shoot your wedding. Meet them, ask them questions Do you like them? Can you get along with them? Remember your wedding day is a very stressful day. You want to be surrounded by people whose personalities you can get along with. I believe you need all the professionals at your wedding to be team players. They all need to work together to make your day wonderful, yet get their individual jobs done. You don't want to be pulling out your hair because the person you hired to do a job doesn't know what to do. Hire someone who you feel comfortable with and who has experience. I myself have over 15 years experience as a wedding videographer and I can assure you that I have seen everything there is to see under the sun, and the only way to get through it is to keep a cool head.

In short, I just want to encourage you all to keep the video in your budget. Hire a professional company that is knowledgeable, and is reasonable priced, and that you feel comfortable with, and you will have a great video that you and your future kids and grandkids will enjoy. Best of luck.

Wedding planning tips

title:Wedding Planning Tips

author:Terje Brooks Ellingsen

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_408.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Looking forward to your wedding? Have you started the research and gathering of the information you’ll need to plan it properly? It is better to start now instead of ending up in a stressful situation. Here are some wedding planning tips.

Who is doing what?

Sit down with your future spouse and discuss openly and honestly the "planning" responsibilities. Who will plan the entertainment? Who will plan the menu? Who will decide on the baker and see it through? The many, many details are important.

Visit a couple of wedding shows

There are lots of wedding shows going on all the time and you can attend a wedding show or two in your area. The best strategy is to attend two shows, actually. The first time, your purpose can be "information gathering". See what vendors offer, look at jewelry, gowns, hairstyles, cakes (and taste them too), tuxedos, flowers, balloons, etc. The second visit should be around four-to-six months before your wedding with the purpose of making appointments with vendors you like, asking detailed questions about their services and gathering information about pricing.

The wedding sites of your dream

Write a list of sites that you have always dreamed of having your wedding. On the beach, in the largest cathedral in the city, in the country, at the Country Club, at your dad's beautiful backyard. There must be hundreds of sites available in your city or in another city (destination weddings is the rage). Narrow the sites to three of your favorites, then check to see if your wedding date is available at the site before making the visit.

How many wedding guests?

The size of the guest list is one of the most important issues to discuss. You know the rule of 50% of the guests should come from the bride's family and 50% from the groom's family.

When planning the guest list, consider two components: number of guests invited or the wedding budget. Usually, a small wedding consist of 100 guests or less. These are normally a smaller budget because the reception (food and refreshments) consist of 40% of the cost of the event. However, a small wedding could have a large budget of say $20,000 consisting of the finest food and wine and other accommodations. The small wedding budget is in the range of $1,000 to $10,000.

In average, a wedding consist of 200-300 guests which means the average budget may come as a surprise to you. Providing a seated affair or buffet, champagne and entertainment at the reception consist of 40% of the budget. An average wedding in the USA for the last couple of years is $22,000. Of course, there are many ways to slim the budget with a little creativity.

So, what is a large wedding? A large wedding can consist of 300-500 guests. This is mostly an extravagant affair, and the budget isn't as important as the celebration itself. Providing a wonderful reception for a large number of guests can really add up! With an unlimited budget, why not serve a savory menu and serve the best refreshments for your once-in-a-lifetime event? Usually, a large wedding cost anywhere from $40,000 to $200,000.

It is always a good thing to plan a wedding well in advance. Be careful however, not to let your wedding planning get in the way of your normal responsibilities. If you feel overwhelmed, talk to someone you trust, such as a minister, priest, rabbi, or counsellor, who work with engaged couples daily and understand the stress you may experience.

Am i in love signs that will tell you are on the right track

It is love that initiated the union between a man and a woman when they finally decided to get married. Before they went through this very important decision of their lives, everything seemed to be on a reverie, with all the goodness and the sweetness that any couple could experience.

When the couple gets married, it is that same love that would keep them together, their bond stronger than ever, and their life transformed from a reverie to pure realism.

The love that keeps two people together is now an issue. This is because some people no longer believe that love really exists on its through sense of the word because of the many divorce cases that the society is facing right now.

In the U. S. alone, nearly 12,326,369 of the female population and 9,032,100 of the males were said to be divorced from their partners. This is according to the 2000 marital statistical report of the Divorce Peers in Michigan.

With that fact, it goes to show that many people are inclined to get married without realizing the true sense of being in love.

Hence, reality goes back to the clear signs of love. The reason why many people fail in their relationships is based from the fact that they thought that they were in love but the truth is that they never were.

Therefore, for those who wish to put a clear distinction between love and infatuation, in which, other people thought they are the same, here is a list of the real signs of true love.

1. You suddenly become interested with the things that you used to detest.

A person can claim he is in love if he is able to accept that things the he used to look down on. This is when everything seems so positive and that there is nothing close that could ruin what you have for the person you love.

However, this does not happen on an instant. This has to go into a process wherein you still hate to do what you despise even if you are already in a relationship. But as soon as you learned to love, everything will change. Things will seem brighter and every challenge seems easy to bear.

2. You learn to value her

To accept and to give something of value are two different things. If you are really in love, it is easier for you to feel that you really value the person and not just because you wanted to stay and sacrifice everything for that person.

Love will always want to find time and ways how to make his or her partner happy. For a great lover, his or her priority is on how to make his or her partner happy, and that this must be above his or her personal feelings.

3. You are in love if you can, with eyes open wide, accept the person that you love no matter what or who he is.

To feel loved is enough guarantee that you are accepted because you are you and not because of anything else that concerns you.

If you are really in love with the person that you really like, you can act or perform freely without the feeling of being awkward with the situation.

4. You are in love if you understand the person that you care for the most.

To feel loved, you must also feel how you are being understood by men and how each love should be able to give you the free will to choose what is right or wrong.

You are in love if you are willing to accept whatever it is with the other person and not on what and who the person is. You will be able to consider his thoughts and feeling even if somehow you disagree with what he believes in. And if you are being loved in the true sense of the word, you know that he will do the same thing to you.

5. You are in love if you know that you really care lot for that very special person

True love serves as a guarantee that the person whom you love will stay true to you, no matter what. You are really in love if you know that you are willing to sacrifice you life just to save your partner.

You are in love if you know that in spite of your partner’s flaws and wrongdoings, you will never embarrass him in front of many people. Instead, you will talk to him seriously and ask him what went wrong.

Indeed, love can be too confusing for people who do not know what it really means. Others may regard infatuation or physical attraction as love already.

The point here is that in order to know that you are really in love is to love him beyond the physical attraction, lust, and attachment. These are the three stages of love. Hence, if you were able to surpass these stages, it really must be love.

Are clubs the place to play

title:Are Clubs The Place To Play?

author:Julia Tanner

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_417.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Anywhere that you feel safe and secure is a great place to swing, in my opinion. And clubs can be that great place.

Not only are you in an environment that is totally supportive, but there aren’t games to be played or expectations. You come when you’re ready to come, and you play as much as you want.

Are These Places Dirty?

Unlike a lot of the sex clubs, swingers clubs are filled with clean cut, professional men and women. The general age of members is anywhere from late twenties to mid-fifties, so you’re sure to feel at home with one of the age groups.

Many of the swingers clubs have dress codes that are strictly enforced. Of course, they may have theme nights from time to time, but most of the time, it’s completely option.

But a lot of fun.

And as for the ‘dirty’ part, it depends on what you’re using for a definition. If you’re talking about breaching sexual borders and allowing couples to mingle, then yes, they are ‘dirty.’ If you’re talking about the physical presence of dirt, then no, these are high-class establishments that have to follow health code rules, just like everyone else.

Are The Clubs Safe To Go To?

Swingers clubs employ a staff of security to help you in case you should feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

The staff at most of the clubs are easily available if you have any questions, plus many require you to call ahead to have an on-phone interview. This ensures that you are a couple that will fit in with everyone else, as well as follow the rules that you are given.

If you do get turned down for a club, then you may want to revaluate why you want to try swinging in the first place. Or try another club.

Where Can I Find Swingers Clubs?

Word of mouth and local advertising are the best ways to find local swinger events. In some cities, there may not be clubs that are listed, but through the local adult video store, you may be able to find listings for swinger parties.

Be very discerning about which events you choose to go to. Call the coordinator and ask a lot of questions. If they hesitate or refuse to answer things, then you may want to avoid their party.

Do I Have To Do Anything?

This is the biggest question of swingers clubs—do you have to participate in the sexual fun?

Of course not.

Many couples go to meet other couples at a later time. Or some other folks just go to watch couples mingle with one another. The level of your participation is up to your comfort level.

Most clubs have polices about not pressuring other members, so you can feel at ease from the time you walk in to the time that you leave.

A swingers club can be a great way to celebrate your sexual identity without having to ‘do’ anything. Many couples find that this is the perfect method to sample the swinging life to see if it’s something that will work for them.

And without names, you can be anonymous as well.

How to dance salsa

Salsa is now wide spread, and everywhere around the globe it continues to gain popularity by the droves. If someone wishes to learn and to attain a degree of expertise in salsa, then lot of hard work is required. For a beginner level salsa dancer, and also for experienced people a good recommendation would be to keep improvising on it. The regular intake of lessons will help us to improve our dancing and be admired by all our friends.

Salsa basically has origins in Cuba and consists of combinations, turns and patterns. This though can be learned in the privacy of our home, but requires dedication. With no regards to our age, shape or size of our physique, dancing is a best way to burn calories and keep you healthy

The Miami style of salsa dancing consists of the basic dance steps including the salsa stance, side and back rocks, small quick turns, cross body leadings, what is popularly called The Adios, then outside turns, the enchufla y dame or instead simply An enchufla and more.

Small Stepwise descriptions:

1. Get into a position where you are facing your facing. Now placing the right hand on your partners waist, around the back, grasping the partner's right hand.

2. According to beats step forward starting with left foot, with your partner mirroring your steps backward.

3. For second beat repeat with right foot.

4. Now mirror same steps like the above but backwards.

5. Now it’s such that after 6th step, the seventh step you will be in now in starting position.

This is a very basic description of how to do jazz. Hope you enjoy learning more.

How to handle a cheating partner

title:How to Handle a Cheating Partner

author:Bill Knell

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_11.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Most people do not understand the nature of cheating within a relationship. Let’s begin by taking a look at that before going any further. Even though it always seems and is horribly unfair to any victim of infidelity, there are always two sides to every story.

The person who cheats doesn’t easily fit into a single mold. There are those who will cheat once and never repeat the mistake. Some will continue the practice until they feel satiated. Others make a lifestyle out of being unfaithful. If you are considering how to handle a cheating partner, you must first decide how likely it is that they will repeat the same behavior over again.

The best-case scenario for any type of reconciliation between two people when one cheats are situations where the Cheater confesses. People who admit to cheating without having been caught or even suspected are unlikely to repeat their mistake. It might take a bit of prodding to discover the reason for their unfaithfulness, however, in most cases it’s because they were completely frustrated with their life.

Regardless of the cause, Frustration is a powerful emotion that can cause people to seek escape. Some will escape by abandoning a relationship or family, others will escape by cheating and many just become abusive because they do not know how to handle what they‘re feeling. These are all bad choices brought on by the sensation that they have become boxed in to a situation that constantly frustrates them. Although unfortunate, sometimes the act of cheating brought on by frustration is a catalyst for both parties to come together in a productive way that wasn‘t previously possible.

The worst-case scenario for reconciliation involves people who cheat for selfish reasons. Although they may justify their actions with psychobabble, habitual Cheaters will emotionally destroy many partners, break families apart and go through a large number of relationships before they stop or simply run out of steam. These are nightmare partners that everyone should take extra caution to avoid. Unfortunately, they also tend to be extremely effective at deception and appear very desirable. Not surprisingly, these people are the hardest for cheating victims to walk away from.

The foremost consideration anyone who has been burned by cheating has to think about is the desire of the person who betrayed them for reconciliation. You cannot go to them; they have to come to you. Once they do, you have to be sure it will not happen again. Unless you know your partner very well and can account for their actions, you will probably not be able to reassure yourself that it was a one-time event. If you can get past all that, move the spotlight on to yourself.

It is important to be sure, you can live with their betrayal of your relationship before you go further. No one expects you to forget, but you have to be willing to forgive. Otherwise, your relationship may turn into a vicious circle of mistrust, revenge and unspoken hate. If you say you will forgive, you have to mean it. Nevertheless, before you do, be sure that your partner understands the kind of damage they have or could have done.

It’s easy to believe that a Cheater cheats himself or herself more then anyone else in terms of losing the ability to enjoy a meaningful relationship. However, many Cheaters leave ruined lives in their wake. Whether it’s innocent children who end in a broken home or a former partner who is left emotionally destroyed, some one besides themselves often pays for what a Cheater does.

If you can move past forgiveness and making sure the Cheater understands how devastating their act was, it’s time for some serious work to begin on mending the relationship. It’s like going back to square one. You have to be sure the conditions that may have caused or allowed for the betrayal are eradicated from your relationship. For example, the person who your partner cheated with has to be out of the picture. No friendship, once in a while meet ups or anything.

Apart from staring at internet porn or getting the seven-year itch for greener grass in the neighbor’s yard, the root cause of the problem has to be discovered, discussed and dealt with. Things will never be the same between yourself and your partner again. You have to find common ground, strengthen the love that remains and support one another in every way possible.

Dare to achieve and discover a daring new you

title:Dare to Achieve and Discover a Daring New You

author:Michaela Scherr

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_331.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Forget Christmas, the New Year is fast approaching and with it comes another 12 months of doing what you’ve always done. Now I’m not sure about you but I know that next year will be different for me.

For a start, I’m not going to undertake a million and one things with deadlines impossible to keep (though I suspect my interest in new projects will get the better of me). Many amazing and interesting things in this world grab my attention, making it easy for me to get sidetracked.

My intention for the New Year is to transcend all previous successes and achieve things previously not considered. I’m curious to know where it will lead me (there’s that sidetracking issue again). It’s a scary thought but exciting all at once.

Yes, next year sure will be different and amazing.

If you’ve come through a year filled with boredom, sameness, heartache, yearning, and wish life to be different then consider whether it’s now time for you to give yourself a stern talking to about creating change for your highest good.

Some questions you could ask are:

Are you willing to repeat this year, next year?

Has the past year provided you with contentment, happiness, success and new friendships?

If yes to the last statement, congratulations! Some years are like that, absolutely fabulous years where you wouldn’t change for the world for anything – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

If the statement is not true, ask:

How are you going to change things?

Do you have strategies in place that will ensure you become successful in your endeavors?

Are you thinking this is another ho hum time of the year when arbitrary New Year’s resolutions are made?

Maybe all you want is to go with the flow, and that’s okay if deep down that’s what you truly want.

What if you motivated challenged or dared you, not by others, by you only?

There have been many times when I’ve dared myself to do things I wouldn’t normally do and have never looked back. That’s when I become comfortable with the uncomfortable, for a short while anyway.

Anyone can dare themselves to achieve greatness and it might just be what’s needed to kick start the New Year. You never know where it can lead you.

I’ve listed 7 Dares to choose from should you motivate and dare yourself into initiating an action designed to change your next 12 months in the most amazing way. They are:

1. Dare to be different.

2. Dare to discover who you really are.

3. Dare to let go of the past.

4. Dare to step out of your comfort zone.

5. Dare to ask more questions on how YOU do business.

6. For those on the dating scene - date only those that respect all parts of who you are and accept nothing less.

7. Dare to achieve more.

It’s possible one or more points above will resonate with you, in which case write down your preferred challenge in a journal or diary and keep note of how your dare is going. Include who, what, where and when you needed a little external guidance. This will enable you to reflect on your journey as you prepare for the New Year next year.

The road toward contentment, happiness, and success is often challenging, which makes it all the more scary yet exciting – you’ll really know you’re alive then! The upshot is that you achieve what you set out to do, and you can tell the world you did it your way!

10 top relationship tips

What's the key to a successful relationship? Some might think that's the million dollar question. Sometimes it's just the simple things, that we easily forget or think are unimportant that hold the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Read through the helpful tips below on how to make your relationship go the distance.

1. Without quality time together, your relationship will not survive. Aim to devote at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when the two of you spend time exclusively together.

2. You both want to feel secure within the relationship. A good relationship is built on compromise and a lot of give and take from both of you.

3. Often those little things that first attracted you to your partner can turn into nasty annoying habits. Learn to love your partner warts and all. Don't try to change them into something they're not, after all you fell in love with them just the way they were.

4. Money is one of the top conflicts between most couples. For the relationship to work, you need to address your finances and maybe even work out a budget.

5. Learn to argue well. Never say something to your partner that you wouldn't want to hear said back. Just remember, the one good thing they say about arguing, is the making up afterwards.

6. Communication is vital to all healthy relationships. Listen to your partner and avoid blame and judgement. Don't let your emotions dictate your behaviour. Remember just talking things over can help you to both have a deeper understanding of each other.

7. Sort out your sex life, it may start to go downhill over the years, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice it, address it with your partner and work out why, and what to do to bring back the passion. Maybe one of your prefers more sex than the other. Why not experiment with new ideas in the bedroom. Role play, dressing up, or maybe take your sex life out of the

bedroom and try new places. The introduction of marital aids into the relationship can also help to spice things up. Whatever you decide, remember communication is vital.

8. Try to keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell your partner how much you need them, but don't get to dependent on them and cling to them all the time, as that can make your partner feel trapped. On the flip side of this, don't allow your partner to think you don't need them, by going or doing things without them. Try to keep a happy and healthy balance

between the two.

9.Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, and feel the trust can never be regained then give yourself, and him a break and start again, with someone new.

10. Don't ever think that going to counselling is a sign of a failed relationship. It can turna bad relationship around and can also turn an average relationship into an excellent one. More and more people are turning to counselling today than ever, it shows you are both prepared

to try and make things better, which can't be a bad thing at all.

The fact remains, that whether you're dating or married, relationships are hard. It takes 100% commitment from both of you. However, healthy and long-lasting relationships are achievable and many couples have proven just that. Not everything is always going to be perfect but if you both choose to make it work then it can. And remember it's the little things that you sometimes do that can go a long way to making your relationship work.

How to make your own wedding cake you bet you can do it

title:How To Make Your Own Wedding Cake – You Bet You Can Do It

author:Amy Spade

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_381.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Making your own wedding cake can be a great way to cut down on the overall budget of a wedding. It will take time and effort, but a well-intentioned aunt or cousin might love to take on the challenge for you.

Choosing the cake

Just like when you have a professional make your cake for you, enlisting some relative help also needs a plan. You can go to many books of weddings cakes for more intricate guidelines or just look at pictures in magazines. Try to find something simple, but also something that you think would be perfect for your wedding’s theme.

When you think that you’re found what you like, try to determine how many tiers it has and what decorations you want to add. With these things in mind, you can begin to plan out the building of your wedding cake.

Making plans

Looking at the picture of the cake that you’d like, try to break it down in your mind. Figure out the number of tiers it has (perhaps you need more or less) so that you can determine how many baking pans you will need. After that, you will want to see how many tubes of icing or jars of frosting you will need to complete the decorations. A lot of the time, you may find that ordering a traditional cake is the same expense.

If you’re determined to make your cake, the best suggestion is to make a trial one. Even if it’s just one layer, you want to try out your plan to see if the one that you have chosen can be recreated.

Bake a layer of the cake (any old cake mix will do, but you may want to go with the name brands for your wedding) and set it aside to cool. You want to make sure that the cake is completely cooled before putting any icing on it because warm cake will cause the icing to melt.

Apply the icing with a pastry spatula like you might apply spackle on a wall. Take your time to smooth out all the areas. Pretend like this is the real cake and see what it looks like. If you’re impressed (and of course, after you’re tasted it), then go ahead and get the ingredients to make an entire cake.

Your wedding cake will be best if you make it the day before so that everything has time to settle and no one has to rush around to bake on the day of. Set aside a special room or area so that it will remained untouched and out of the way. You may even want someone to transport it to its final location first thing in the morning to avoid any rushing about.

Relationship help solution for a healthier and rewarding relationship

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. All couples go through rough times and experience difficulties in maintaining a healthy relationship. However, there are some who do not take these as a challenge and so they easily let go and end the relationship for good.

Ending the relationship is not always a best solution when conflicts arise. Conflicts are normal part of the relationship and these even make the relationship stronger and test your love for each other. If you end the relationship sooner, it only goes to show that you have a weak foundation and your feelings for each other are not that intense. So, when you encounter problems in the relationship, the best thing that you can do is to seek relationship help.

Relationship help is very much available on the Internet nowadays. More and more relationship counselors have taken advantage of the power of the Internet to reach a wider market that is in need for relationship help. But since there are lots of options available, you have to make sure that you choose a reliable adviser for you, one who really has the experience and the commitment to serve other people who long for a rewarding love life and great relationship.

There are several ways where relationship help can be provided. These can be through significant tools for positive change, personal coaching, and retreat for couples. Because of the Internet, these are very much available for easier access and more convenience. You need not to leave the comfort of your home or office just to inquire and avail of all these. By simply browsing through sites, you can now seek relationship help in minutes.

Nowadays, there are lots of books about relationships that can be purchased in local stores and online. These books include articles about improving relationships, different advice from marriage and relationship counselors, and success stories of couples who overcome very difficult times in their relationship. These books can help you a lot in assessing your relationship problems as well as yourself in order to figure out the best solution to undertake. Aside from that, these books can also help you stay on a positive track and are essential if you want a truly rewarding partnership.

Personal coaching can also play a significant role in providing relationship help. You can check online for a site that offers a coaching session for couples. This session can help you have a healthy, joyful, and rewarding relationship. After the session, you will sure gain clear insights about resolving relationship issues and you will learn new strategies to make positive changes even if you are in very rough times.

If a personal coaching session is not the thing for you, then you can always opt for a retreat. By spending a week with your chosen relationship counselors, you can really seek relationship help. A retreat for couples is often held in an intensive and supportive place to achieve profound results. A concentrated weekend program is included to really transform your relationship. When you get home, you will really feel that your relationship is renewed and the romance is rekindled.

All these ways can really provide you with effective relationship help that gives positive results. You should keep in mind to seek relationship help as soon as you see a first sign of trouble. This will help you resolve the problem sooner and avoid much bigger conflicts in the future.

Is your relationship virus protection up to date

title:Is Your Relationship Virus Protection Up To Date?

author:Nancy Gerber

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_336.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Anyone with a computer knows about the annoyances and dangers lurking out in cyberspace -- pop-ups, SPAM, viruses and spyware. Chances are that most users have at least a rudimentary knowledge of how to defend themselves, and the measures that can be taken to place more protective layers between their system and these nasty creations. When it comes to communication and relationships, however, we're not nearly so well versed.

Although most people do very well with run-of-the mill daily interactions, unless you come from a family skilled in this arena, or have connected with mentors along your way, you are probably frustrated and flustered when a difficult person or situation crosses your path. And, with the holiday season revving into high gear, the challenges become more frequent and complex. Here are some straightforward guidelines and strategies that can help you navigate these choppy waters.

First, some core principles. We accept as undisputable fact that there will always be technology demons waiting to pounce, and we all know (or should!) some basic caveats -- never open an attachment from a strange e-mail address, don't answer phishing or spam marketing messages, be cautious of the web sites you visit and the personal information you share. Similarly, here are three of the essential, basic guidelines for managing relationships:

1. Generally, everyone's behavior is habitual and unconscious. Most of it is not directed specifically at us, so don't take it personally.

2. The only things we can change are our own beliefs, behaviors, language, self-talk, and attitudes.

3. Stop wishing people were different, and accept them as they are. If you set out to try to change someone else, you'll be sorely disappointed.

In the same way we have a technology protection plan -- spam filtering programs, anti-virus software, spyware scans – it's useful to develop a personalized strategy to prepare ahead of time for the inevitable challenges we'll be facing. For example, in order to take a stand with the person who won't take "no" for an answer, we may need to know that there are three ways to respond to a request -- we can agree, decline or make a counter offer. It will also be useful to understand that saying "no" doesn't require an explanation, and that there are many polite yet firm ways of sticking to our boundaries. We can become more aware of our self-defeating beliefs about a person or circumstance, and therefore have a greater variety of choices as to how we'll respond more effectively the next time around.

Just as we shore up our technical defenses, and make sure we're ready for the next new virus, by becoming aware of our communication options we're updating our relationship software so that we can consistently create more harmonious, productive and satisfying interactions.

Where is your greatest communication challenge -- what people or circumstances repeatedly agitate, annoy or frustrate you? What do you need to help you change the outcome next time around?

© 2005 Nancy Birnbaum-Gerber. All rights reserved, but you MAY transmit, distribute, print or otherwise share this piece with anyone anywhere as long as copyright, credit and all contact and descriptive information below are included.

Update YOUR personal communication software with Nancy's newest e-book:

The Conscious Communicator's

HOLIDAY SURVIVAL MANUAL

17 Strategies To Manage

Those Awkward Relationship Moments

and Communicate More Effectively

and Harmoniously During The Holiday Season

Learn more here – www. sstones. com/holidaysurvivalmanual. shtml

The shy guy advantage how to make it work for you

title:The Shy Guy Advantage: How to Make It Work for You

author:Susan Dunn

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_65.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Anne and I know a shy guy – her brother. He isn’t the best-looking rooster in the barnyard, but he always seems to have lots of chicks pecking around him.

What’s the attraction? The mystery, I think. He doesn’t say much so women fill in the blanks. Also I think it’s refreshing; a relief from the knuckle-dragging Neanderthals out there. They like the challenge of getting him to open up. And, yes, they even ask him out, but he’s the three-date strikeout king.

Being shy can work for you at first, but it won’t get you what you want in the long run. Women want a man to be confident and assertive. Then they can be a woman! If you don’t step up to the plate, you’ll bring out the “mother” in them and be relegated to the “friends” category. You’ll have lots of female companionship, but no romance.

So keep in mind a little boy you’ve seen recently, and avoid doing the things that little boys do with their moms – they ask permission, they worry about pleasing her, they never take initiative, they aren’t spontaneous, they don’t know what they want, and they expect to be taken care of.

You don’t need any of that, so make sure you aren’t giving the wrong impression.

Dating is frustrating to everyone. I coach men and women both, around emotional intelligence, dating and relationships, and I hear the same thing from both sexes. It’s frustration, rejection, confusion, and mystery until it works out, and it will. No one knows what’s going on, so just hang in there. Men that have a lot of bravado are just covering it up. No one likes to strike out, but everyone does. If you don’t step up to the plate and take a swing, you can’t get a home run. It’s as simple as that. It gets easier with time, your odds improve as you practice, and the reward is definitely worth it. Eventually you’ll see a ball coming over the plate you know is a home run, and you can hit it out of the park.

Here are some tips:

1. Monitor your self-talk. Keep it positive and affirming. Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a buddy you wanted to encourage.

2. Monitor the self-talk of other guys. If it’s one thing guys lie about, it’s their prowess with women. Every man’s in there taking his knocks just like you are.

3. Your emotions don’t have to stop you in your tracks. You can be nervous and keep going. You can be worried about rejection and still take a risk. This is like a workout, building character muscle, aka tolerance for frustration.

4. Start from the inside out. What are you shy about? Make a list of all you have to offer and believe it. If there’s something you need to work on, get some coaching and take care of it. Otherwise, take pride in who you are and stay centered. Not all the women will like you, but you need all the women. You just need HER.

5. Practice where it’s safe. Being outgoing is something you can try with the person next to you in the grocery line. Talk to strangers. Watch outgoing people and see what specific behaviors they do – the eye contact, the tone of voice, the posture, the conversation-starters. It isn’t a mystery, it’s a set of skills, like a tennis serve.

6. If she asks you out first, that’s fine, but you must take charge or you’re going to be moved into the “just friends” category. Take over and be spontaneous. Don’t ask her what she wants to do or where she wants to go. Plan something any woman would enjoy and expect her to go along. Use your gut feelings.

7. Don’t try and please her all the time. This gets annoying with time. Just be you and go! Any healthy woman will squawk if she doesn’t like something. Otherwise, assume all is well and carry on.

8. Have an opinion and express it.

9. Talk as well as listen. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who gives us their undivided attention, but take your share of it, otherwise she’ll see you as a doormat and lose interest. Set your ipod alarm if need be – it’s time for you to talk!

10. Kiss her when you feel like it. It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission. She’ll let you know when she’s ready. Go with your gut.

11. Nobody gets to be on a pedestal. Whether you’re worshiping at her feet, or your own, get down to earth. You’re two real people, not actors in a movie. You’re not there to judge each other’s “date” performance, you’re there to enjoy one another and have a good time. Know your stance/alignment and stance/takeoff so you’re positioned right, and you can’t lose. No matter what happens with her, you will have had a good time, and that’s how you build confidence.

12. Practice. The only way you can get a hole-in-one is to take that bucket of balls out to the shooting range and hit balls for two hours.

Shyness is a combination of innate personality, and insecurity. Your personality’s great. Insecurity isn’t. You get confidence by training, so get a coach. It’s not just for sports any more. They’ll put you through the drill and pretty soon you’ll be scoring like a star quarterback. Only where it really counts.

Finding your ideal partner

title:Finding Your Ideal Partner?

author:Rick Valens

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_84.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

How would you describe the ideal girl of your dream?

“Oh, she has got to be beautiful with a nice figure, having a sweet and sexy voice, cheerful, gentle, considerate, kind-hearted, understanding, independent, musically inclined, share a common interest of mine, hmm… knows how to prepare nice food and… ”

Ok, that is enough. Now, do you think such a perfect person actually exists? Well maybe yes maybe not. But if everyone were to nevertheless, really have such a high expectations, love is certainly going to be hardly visible in the air. Don’t you think so too?

So, what makes an ideal partner then? Well before we go on, perhaps it might be good to know what an exact ideal partner are we discussing here? A dating partner or a marriage partner? Or has this question never even occurred to you before?

Ok, let us answer the question again separately. Hmm… maybe we shall get the girls to answer this time.

First question: How would you describe an ideal dating partner?

Common answers would include, “Dashing with a nice body, full of gentlemanliness, caring and considerate, having a good sense of humor, cheerful, fun loving, adventurous, full of fun and excitement, loves me dearly and etc”

Ok now the second question: How would you describe an ideal marriage partner?

Common answers would include, “Mature, got a sense of responsibility, cheerful, caring, understanding, honest, kind-hearted, having a financially stable income, knowledgeable, able to take good care of the family, loves me dearly and etc”

Notice the difference? An ideal dating partner and an ideal marriage partner is usually a very different person, perhaps just very a little in common I would say.

Well in a perfect case, an ideal partner should of course be best, both a dating and a marriage partner. Someone whom you enjoy dating, bringing you lots of fun, joy and excitements; at the same time someone whom is willing to share your problems and unhappiness, accepting all your negative habits and faults; committed to bringing you happiness.

But again, does such an ideal person exist? Can we really have both the pie and the cake? Think about it. Are we somehow setting too high an expectation? Unknowingly rejecting our chances? Losing the opportunity to be in love? Unknowingly bringing unhappiness to your relationship, yourself and your love? Hmm… well, do remember that we are afterall just talking about ideal here. Something, which is good to have, but not a must to have?

So before you are going to start complaining again that life is so unfair to you, ask yourself, “Have you really ever tried? Tried pursuing for happiness?”

Instead of always picking on your partner’s faults making life unhappy for both, have you tried looking at the other beautiful side of them, their beautiful qualities? Appreciating what you have already got? Tried improving on yourself instead, to becoming a better lover; a more ideal lover? Willing to open up yourself, giving both yourself and others a chance? Remember, what you expect of yours or your future partner is equally what he or she expects of you.

Going into a relationship is never a game. It is a long-term investment, an investment of love between the both of you. It is something which both have to genuinely think through and plan far. What would actually come after dating? Marriage is what I should suppose? Sharing the rest of your life, your future happiness with that special someone?

Well, if nothing were to go wrong in your relationship, your dating partner is eventually going to become your marriage partner, your life partner. Can I say so? Ok, to the girls, let me ask you a question. Would you share your happiness with someone that is full of fun and excitement to be with now, but deep down within yourself you know he is not going to be a good husband, someone who would not take good care of his family?

So again, what is your definition of an ideal partner? Someone whom truly love you, willing to share your problems and unhappiness or…? Well, the answer is within you. It has been with you all this while, only you can find the answer to this question. Your happiness belongs to you, nobody can decide for you. Be true to yourself, you should know what you really wants.

©2005 www. loveletterbox. com

Signs of a cheating spouse and how they differ from signs of infidelity

title:Signs of a Cheating Spouse...and how they differ from Signs of Infidelity

author:Dr. Robert Huizenga

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_185.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Cheating is different from infidelity?

Yes, I believe so. Signs of a cheating spouse will be different from signs of infidelity.

In talking to thousands of people embroiled with a cheating spouse or infidelity over the past two plus decades, I've noticed a difference. In our society the word cheating carries different meaning than infidelity.

This is important for someone discerning the signs of a cheating spouse or the signs of infidelity. A person who "cheats" is different from someone who is involved in "infidelity."

Cheating is most closely described in my e-book as someone who "Doesn't Want to Say No." This is only one of 7 kinds of affairs. The other six kinds of affairs lean more in the direction of infidelity.

The true cheater is a rather rare bird, but is probably most glamorized and comes closest to our stereotype of cheating or infidelity.

Infidelity, in general, is marked by confusion, pain, doubt, ambivalence and a period of craziness in a person's life.

Cheating is an ongoing lifestyle.

Here are some signs of a cheating spouse: (substitute the word she for he, if you like.)

1. There most likely will be more than one other person. He sees affairs as conquests, usually sexual, and not as a place to find intimacy. Actually he lacks many of the tools and the mind set to have intimate relationships. He most likely will move from one conquest to another. His gratification on a basic level remains primary.

2. He will have little internal conflict about the affair. This differs markedly from the person who can't say no. Your spouse will view the affair or affairs as entitlement. He deserves them. He deserves to be adored. He deserves to have excitement and personal gratification in his life. He has earned it. There is nothing wrong with this. Actually others, perhaps you included, ought to understand this!

3. He will operate in a world that supports his illusion and behavior. He will surround himself with those who look the other way or actually encourage his philandering behavior. You will probably not find yourself welcomed in this world. He and his colleagues and friends collude to maintain their world.

4. You might run into a problem with the other person or persons. Remember the movie, Fatal Attraction? The other person might attach herself to him with specific expectations to be cared for and perhaps married - perhaps part of his strategy in his conquest efforts. When she is "dumped" or the expectations fail to materialize she may pursue revenge. You might be involved.

5. You may not experience a great deal of conflict with him. There is no talk of divorce. Your life might be quite copasetic - unless you rock the boat. He has his playtime and you fill another specific role of quiet support. Keep the balance and life moves along fairly seamlessly.

6. There is one problem, however. The problem of aging. Depending on his social context, you might become a liability as you increasingly fail to project a young attractive vibrant image. He wants those around him to reflect back beauty and perfection. If you fail in this regard you may be cast aside. Part of this depends on the financial cost of such "trade-in."

7. His fragile, illusionary world and yours may crumble if he encounters failure. Failure is his "Achilles heel." Unfortunately, the distortion and illusion he lives under do not always coincide with reality. He pushes and bends the rules to his advantage. He may not pay close attention to the consequences of his behavior. Those consequences - legal, financial or health - may bite him at some point. He most likely will count on you to be there for him, to cry on your shoulder (perhaps literally) and help him regain his confidence.

Is your girlfriend a compulsive liar

Ideally, a relationship should be built on trust, respect and honesty. Keeping important things to yourself and not sharing it with your partner might eventually ruin your relationship.

There is such a thing as being a compulsive liar. If you are in a relationship and you love your partner too much to let him or her go, then you might want to take a look at the signs and reasons behind being a compulsive liar:

This bad habit can stem from having a very low self-confidence.

There are several reasons why one would compulsively or deliberately lie.

One of which is having a low self-esteem. If you do not love yourself enough, then you can never love anyone else completely and selflessly.

Having a low self-esteem can later on lead to compulsive lying.

Take this as an example. A girl who had a humiliating childhood experience or comes from a broken family is very ashamed of her family background.

Before she finally reaches adulthood, she is at a very awkward stage where it takes very little to wound her fragile ego.

As a result, she makes up stories about his family background, and lies about herself.

Once she sees that her stories are weaving magic on other people and the stories make them like her, what is the result?

She will keep on weaving lies, and this habit she will take with her until she grows into a mature adult.

People with this complex never think that they are, nor will they ever be, as good as the people around them. In the above example, once the girl turns out into a woman and she is at a stage where she begins to have relationships, guess what will happen?

Instead of breaking the chain and finding ways to stop the habit, she will keep on lying to keep a man interested.

In the end, she will never have a stable relationship because the truth about her will come out eventually.

What if my girlfriend IS a compulsive liar?

If you are a man with a girlfriend who is a compulsive liar, there is a very high probability that you will get hurt in the process. Once you find out about the web of lies that she told, will you still find it in your heart to forgive her?

Unfortunately, having a relationship with a compulsive liar is quite harmful to other people's feelings.

Compulsive liars cannot help lying 'even to their loved ones' and if you have a girlfriend with this condition and she does not want to seek help, then you are at a crossroads.

As heart-wrenching as it is to let go of somebody you love with this kind of situation, you have no choice but to let go. Otherwise, you are just letting yourself in for more heartbreak.

Compulsive liar sign #1: I am afraid to face the truth.

A compulsive liar feels that it is but natural to lie, so she is actually afraid of facing up to facts. She is always in denial. She wants to believe the lies that she made up, so much so that she sometimes believe it to be true. In fact, she wants it to be the truth.

Usually, compulsive liars develop this habit at an early age and it is carried on to their adulthood.

Compulsive liar sign #2: My lies are better than your truth.

Compulsive liars usually experience jealousy and fear towards other people.

He or she will also feel that since they are so used to lying, they can easily see through the deceit of other people. Thus, they show an air of authority, and they think that other people will never see through their lies.

This develops into a vicious cycle that is even more destructive for the person with this complex, and will surely affect the people around him or her.

Compulsive liar sign #3: I lie for my own purposes.

This statement is actually a lie by itself because compulsive liars can lie for any reason at all, even if they would not gain anything from it.

The habit of lying has become deeply indebted in their system that they cannot escape from it.

The Cure

The cure for compulsive lying depends on the person herself. If you are in a relationship with someone who is a compulsive liar, ask yourself, is she worth saving? The answer is, of course! Any person who wants to be cured of the compulsion to lie is worth saving.

The key is that she herself should want to change and do away with this habit. With some professional advise, some help from you and your loved ones, then you can take the first step to curing your girlfriend from this 'disease' of compulsive lying.

Confide to be less angry in your marriage

title:Confide To Be Less Angry In Your Marriage

author:Dr Tony Fiore

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_682.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Jose and Juanita have been married for 17 years, and basically love each other, yet have been fighting over the same issue almost every night of those years: She likes it cold at night and he likes it warm in their house and bedroom. She had just opened their bedroom windows for the night. When she left to visit the bathroom, she heard Jose follow her and close all the windows.

Let’s eavesdrop to see what we can learn about this fight and what to do about it.

—(curtain up)—

Juanita: (to Jose)"I can’t sleep unless the windows are wide open. You know that, but insist on closing them every night, just so I’ll be miserable. You are selfish and inconsiderate."

Jose: (to Juanita):"This is my house too. Why should I have to freeze? You always get your way. It is so cold in here you could hang meat! Are you trying to get me sick? No NORMAL person would want it this cold!"

(curtain down)

IS THIS A SOLVABLE PROBLEM?

Depends on the specific marriage. For some couples, the solution would be a simple compromise of some sort; for instance, buy a room thermometer and agree to always keep the room at an agreed upon temperature both could live with.

In many marriages, however, a problem like this is not easily solved—it becomes “perpetual”—and trying to “solve” it only creates anger and tension. For Jose and Juanita, this unfortunately was the case.

Why is a simple problem like this not solvable for our couple and in many other marriages? Could be many reasons, but the usual culprits are:

(1) The couple is engaged in a “power” or “control” struggle. This means the fight isn’t about the issue anymore—it is about who will win or lose.

(2) The temperature issue goes deeper and is emotionally tied into other personal or marital issues. If this is the case, the more pressure put on the person to “change,” the more the person resists.

For instance, turns out that Juanita literally panics if in a room without air flow due to issues in her childhood. Depriving her of fresh air flow literally makes her want to fight for her life.

CONFIDING MAKES THE DIFFERENCE

Let’s now listen in on what Jose and Juanita could have said that may have made a HUGE difference in their communication.

This is because now they are speaking from their hearts — combining empathy (seeing things from the viewpoint of the other) with assertive communication (honestly speaking your feelings and thoughts in a forthright manner)

Juanita (should have said something like):"I feel that I don’t have to put up with this, although I also feel bad that you have to suffer. I tell myself that if you really loved me, you would want me to be comfortable at night.

I also ask myself why should I always give in? I work hard all day too and deserve some consideration. All I’m asking for is a decent night’s sleep, but then, I wonder if I am being too selfish."

Jose (should have said something like):"I do really love you and I want you to be comfortable too, but it gets so cold in here at night for me that I can’t sleep.

We both want a good night’s sleep and want to be able to continue sleeping together in the same room. Let’s find a way to discuss it so it doesn’t make us so angry at each other."

Granted, it is not easy to confide when in the heat of marital battle. Consequently, it is often better to first take a time out, calm down and then communicate what is in your heart. The following

communication tips will help:

FOUR COMMUNCIATION TIPS

Tip 1- Don’t only focus on the issue. Also discuss your feelings, thoughts, and inner conflicts surrounding the issue. Confide what is going on in both your heart and your mind.

Tip 2- Look at how you communicate with each other ABOUT the issue. Focus on the process of communication.

Tip 3- Give up needing to be right all the time. Wise and successful married people have discovered that often it is preferable to be happy than to be right!

Tip 4- Convey to your partner that you love them enough to want to join them so together you can find a way to deal with the issue or problem.

Relationship tip - keeping the spark alive

To be loved by someone could be one of the most beautiful things one may experience in life. A person can find his own ways on how he can express love to another person. It is overwhelming to be loved by another person especially when that person makes him very special in his life.

A person can express love in many ways. When a person puts his arms around the shoulder of his loved one, he shows affection for the person. There are also times that lovers look at each other and at that instant. They can feel that they love each other even without saying, “I love you”.

The experience of being cared explains that the person is loved. Knowing that the person is so important to him, and he needs him to survive. Love may be expressed through words and through action. Although many say that action actions speak louder than voice, where a person mostly expresses his love to a person is by letting the person feel the affection that is given to him.

Others may see it as very important ingredient for the existence of life. Many may see and feel loved in small ways. A person who loves a girl may call on the phone many even without something important to say. He just wants to hear the voice of his girl and misses his loved one already. There are acts of love that can show affection through physical contact like when a person hugs him because he wants to feel protected and cared.

Sometimes a short hug may not be enough for other people. They may not want to let go because they feel so great in hugging add to it the eye contact that explains everything. There is that mutual understanding that those two persons love each other and cannot get enough of each other. He knows that he is so special to that person because he is always there for the person no matter what the problem is.

It can even be embarrassing at times when the person cannot help himself but kiss the person that he loves in front of many people. A kiss can be a more sensual display of love and affection. There is intimacy especially when the kiss is initiated in the lips. Most people that are totally in love to someone show their love to the person by the act of kissing.

A person can determine if he is truly loved by his loved one is when there is intimate display of affection and care. There are also those appreciative partners that always find time even when the partner is busy at work to see the one he loves. The show of interest to whatever he says and listens to the advices that his partner says could mean that he is important to him. These are only few ways where a person can show and feel love to a person.

Many people wishes that the love they are experiencing would last forever but there could be times that the love can fade and can get colder. Here are some tips on how to keep the spark alive and make that feeling last a lifetime:

1. There should be an allotted quality time for both lovers to cherish some special moments together. Remember those happy moments where he gave him a special token symbolizing their love to one another.

2. If the love was affected by the busy work and schedule, make time to meet her at least once a week. Make a schedule to date her on an exclusive restaurant. This will put some excitement every time the end of the week is nearing.

3. A person can make a love letter and start all over again the way he has courted the girl to win his heart. Make every moment together like the first meeting. Nothing can be sweeter than the first time a person hugs and kisses his loved one.

4. Promise one another that the love shared will be forever cherished. Think about the things that were very special. Be thoughtful and show the care that once was lost.

Love is the best feeling that a man can ever experienced. Make every second spent with the loved one special. Take the opportunity to love and be loved. It is a gift that should be cherished and last forever.

5 tips to make her respect you

Respect is one of the basic human values. As it

applies to people, is defined as an attitude of

admiration or esteem for a person. This feeling

is generally a result of a person's achievements.

While all people deserve respect, not many of

they receive this.

Everyone wants to be respected by others but not

all of them get it. It’s important to first

define who a respectable person is before giving

respect to him.

First of all you have to keep in mind that in

order to demand respect, you will have to treat

others with equal amount of respect.

‘Respect’ is just a word, but what it means and

what it distinguishes for us can make all the

difference in how we observe ourselves and others

— as well as how we relate to future

possibilities and choices.

Many successful relationships have been built

around different political or religious believes,

but it all boils down to respect. They are based

on the belief that both partners are equal, that

the power and control in the relationship are

equally share. In a relationship, respect means

to listening each other, valuing each other's

opinions, and also understanding the other's

emotions.

If you want to make you respectable by your

girlfriend, here are some helpful tips which may

use.

1. First of all it is very important to have self

respect. Treat yourself with respect. If she

sees that you don't have any respect for yourself

she might consider that she doesn't have to show

you either, because it is not important to you at

all.

2. What you give is what you take. Show respect

if you want to be respectable. Everyone wants to

be admired and appreciated. If you show your

girlfriend that she is important to you, you'll

be easily in their good graces. Be attentive,

give compliments, and make her feel comfortable

with you and content. Simply admire the person

you are with and listen carefully when she talks.

So, she'll love to spend time with you.

3. Relax. Women think men are mediocre because

they have a boring personality. So, when you have

a date with her relax and have fun so she will

feel great with you, because if she finds you

boring you may get dumped. If you make her feel

good she will respect you for the funny guy you

are, being the person who can make her smile even

when she is very sad.

4. Don't lie. We all now that women don't like to

be lied to. If she had caught you with a lie she

will definitely not have any more respect for you.

But, if she sees that you are sincere to her all

the time, she will be proud of you and will show

more and more respect for you.

5. Be confident and polite. Look into her eyes

when she talks to you and make her feel that you

are a person who can trust in. Show her that she

can talk with you about any subject or problem

she has and can count on your help. Don't forget

to be polite, this will bring a reciprocal

respect.

When you are in a relationship you must be

treated with respect, which means your girlfriend

must act like this:

- lets you feel comfortable being yourself

- is able to admit when she is wrong

- is willing to compromise

- respects your opinions, feelings and friends

- tries to resolve conflicts by talking honesty

- accepts when you’re saying no at things you don'

t want to do

So, take a deep look at your relationship and

watch out if your girlfriend is making all this

things for you and if not you should try this

tips to make her respect you.

The battle of the sexes

The Battle of the Sexes! – By Joseph Ghabi

During my personal experiences with some of my relationships, I realised an important factor that a couple in any relationship might experience. The same issue reached my conclusion whilst talking with the people I’ve dealt with during in some of my private consultations. What am I talking about? I guess it is about time to state my intention!

We sometimes move from relationship one to another, asking ourselves why we keep attracting experiences with similar characteristics to those we have experienced previously. A male projects his masculine vibration and brings qualities of independence, self-confidence, assurance, security, Ego and pride (negative side and not the best quality!), into the relationship. A female projects a warmer side to that of the male bringing intuition, love, firstly, towards herself before sharing that with her partner, sensation, and her sexuality. Always we find a lack of self-confidence and trust existing in many women (a negative side that should be worked upon). Those are typical characteristics that both sexes should portray to an extent in their relationship identifying their individual sexuality. And always keep in mind, no-one is perfect!

In order for a male to grow in a more desirable way being balance and in harmony, he should open up his female side, though in such a way as not to allow it to take place of his role in being a man, but in order to open up his intuition and encourage the balance between his male and female vibrations.

A female, on the contrary, should open up her male side in order to build up her self-confidence and trust in herself. Thus, bringing her the quality of leadership and balancing both sides of her vibration.

In today’s world, a woman’s place is shifting from that of being a housewife into being at the top in the corporate world. That is a positive change and it is about time too! However, not at the expense of allowing her male vibration to take place over her female vibration. Think about it!

During the 1900’s we had a hundred years governed by a male vibration where men were in control ({19} 00 = 19 = 10 = 1). Since the year 2000 the vibration is changing into that of a female vibration which will be in effect for the next hundred years ({20} 00 = 20 = 2).

The 1 is a male vibration and 2 is a female vibration. A change of attitude in the way we consider a woman being in top job positions did start to take place over approximately twenty years ago. This begun when the energies started to shift. The new century brought preparation for the new female vibration. So my point is that women should not be or acting as if they are male in order to prove a point. It is far more appropriate for women to simply be themselves and they will be fine with that whilst the universal energies are in their favour.

Another contributing factor which many women are likely to have encountered upon in their lives is where negative experiences or relationships as an adult or a young woman in her past encourage them develop a strong male vibration into their energy. The woman may not even be aware of this fact, but it is a natural instinct in order to help her survive the difficult experiences in her life. Bringing this male as a means of survival is acceptable, however, it is critical that women learn where to draw the limit and realise the consequences of having too much male energy is likely to bring.

In both cases, it is not helpful for either sex to have a male vibration to over power the female side when you are supposed to be a woman. As is the case for any male, it is not appropriate to have the female vibration overpowering his masculine side. The most important key to learn and understand is balance!

Now let’s imagine ourselves in a situation where even if the man in your relationship is not sensitive towards detecting energies around him, but un-consciously he will be able to detect that male vibration in his partner. That in any case will bring a power struggle on its own behalf. In homosexual relationships, it is common to see one of the partners playing role of the male or the female. That is, by all means okay. However, when we are in a heterosexual relationship and being well defined opposites then it is likely to become an indirect problem that many of us who are involved in a relationship are not able to detect any imbalance of energies between the male and the female. Thus, allowing it to grow until it can eventually hurt the relationship. As I did mention previously, the importance lies in maintaining a balance.

I would like to mention the importance for a woman to really build her male side in order to build her self confidence, self trust and the gutsy feeling that will enable her to bring the drive she needs to move and do what she wants to do in this lifetime. Though, not as a means of becoming an equally assertive male in the relationship! I do not believe for a moment that women are born in this lifetime in order to have babies and sit at home as housewives! Though some women do accept this and enjoy this lifestyle, they do have responsibility in bringing handling the necessary experiences in order to promote their growth at a soul level. The amount of growth a soul will achieve can also be determined under what society, culture and religion the woman is born into.

In reality in many relationships today, many men are abusing their power by taping into their partner weaknesses where there is a lack of self-confidence and trust in the woman to achieve what they want in their own reality. This case stands true for many females who might also be abusing the male in the relationship and this cannot be disregarded in any case. Relationships with characteristics such as these will drive the relationship into a dead end zone where that relationship is, of course, doomed to fail. The reason being, the time will come to say enough is enough when nothing is moving or changing in that relationship. Being in love with someone is one thing but becoming a doormat is something else. I believe many of you will be able to identify with what I am taking about.

Now let’s be honest and see if we can identify if your male or female side is strong in you. Please remember, this does not imply that every woman and man will have this problem. If you are still reading this far in the article you might ask yourself the question how do we go about identifying if this is a problem for us? The most difficult part is admitting and accepting the foundation of the problem, but after this how do we handle it?

First let’s start in identifying the problem. In some women, it is obvious through her walk, her way of talking, her attitude and ego. Sometimes these traits are not so obvious and in this case she needs to go deeper, looking into her attitude in certain cases, her sexual preferences (are they male preferences?), and her ways in handling her day to day activities in general.

Please do not depend on your boyfriend or husband to identify the problem.

They might not be aware of it but in any case it does not hurt to get their honest opinion. Only balanced men with female energy can easily identify the problem. It can be really obvious for them to detect sometimes.

If we discover that we have this problem, one of the most important factors is in acceptance of it and not to allow your ego and sense of pride to drive you into ignoring the reality of the situation. We are talking here in terms of a male ego and pride and it might be tough to let go of. You must identify the reason of why you are doing this exercise in the first place. One important factor is that you are doing it purely for yourself. No blame should be directed in any way or form towards anyone who is involved, including yourself! Rather, you should spend your time and energy in trying to trace back to where the problem originated.

This exercise should not take forever to implement. It is not a life process to deal with our problems or issues as long as we have a true will to do so. Understanding a problem or a situation is basically one way of looking to our problems. So in your own time and regardless of your age, just go back in time and recall certain experiences where you had an involvement with a male figure. This can be your father, an uncle, a cousin, a boyfriend, or a husband. In some cases these situations it can trace as far back to an age as young as five years old. Write down in your diary the whole event in order for you to empty it from your sub-conscious and then go further in time to any relationship where you were involved with the opposite sex. Try to figure out what went wrong in the situation. Eventually you should be able to determine the common dominator in all of the different experiences and any pattern that is evidently repeating itself in the same time. When you do identify the problem the next step is now to deprogrammed all things that you have build up in your mind about how things should be. For example, your reactions to specific situations, people and your emotions and feelings in accordance to these reactions. All of the points that I have explained can come as a result from the problem situation in the first place. It is also very important to forgive yourself and the person involved in the situation. Take a look back at what you wrote six months later and you will see the difference in yourself after your effort toward bringing the changes you made during that time. It might seem too simple to you. Well, it is, but it does work.

I would like to say also that I have NO problems with homosexual relationships as I do respect them as a matter of personal choice, preference and free will. My article brings discussion of the issues stated from a heterosexual male’s point of view, of whom, is in relationship with a woman.

In the end, do we realize that a man is only required to enhance his female by bringing the female intuition into his side? For a woman she needs to bring a male vibration into her environment which will bring her self-confidence and trust in herself. It is all about balance and has nothing else to it, so, let’s not complicate matters here, it really is pretty simple!

I would like to add at this point that this article is directed mainly toward women who are experiencing predominantly male characteristics as oppose to a male being over feminine. I believe I have no place to be discussing the latter as being a male myself! I can not experience the other end of the equation in sensing a male with a strong female. That issue will be for a woman to discuss in terms of a heterosexual relationship experience.

Copyright © Joseph Ghabi

http://www. freespiritcentre. info

What makes the best wedding anniversary gift

title:What Makes The Best Wedding Anniversary Gift?

author:Renee Michaels

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_42.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Choosing a wedding anniversary gift that wows your husband or wife can rate high on your anxiety list; your anniversary is an occasion where the thought counts even more than the gift. The idea that your loving spouse should “know what I want" can lead to disappointed expectations, as men and women tend to have radically different ideas about what “romantic" means. Mind reading is an art, not a science; so make it easy for your husband or wife to choose a wedding anniversary gift. Drop easy-to-figure-out hints or talk about how you would love to celebrate your anniversary.

You don't always have the money or the time to plan an extravagant wedding anniversary celebration, and truly, the amount of money spent isn't going to be what makes your husband or wife feel cherished. Life is busier than ever for most couples and it's easy to fall into a routine that deadens your marriage. Making time to celebrate your love gets lost in the shuffle. Your anniversary is the perfect occasion to break out of your rut.

What will touch your husband or wife's heart, what's been missing in your relationship that you want to enjoy again? Answer this question and you'll be on the right path to finding wedding anniversary gifts that have the magic “wow" factor.

Spice up your gifts

Traditional anniversary gifts of flowers, chocolate or jewelry can be made special by the way you present them.

Personalize a flower bouquet or a box of chocolates with a love letter, note or a short poem. “Roses are red, violets are blue, we've been married for xx years, and my love for you is still true." “Chocolates are yummy and sweet, but you are always my number one treat." Take a romantic song lyric and personalize it by changing a few words or a line or two. Doesn't have to be fancy, just heartfelt.

Place a jewelry gift in a special keepsake box and also enclose a love note. If you're dining out at your favorite restaurant, have the gift delivered with dessert. Buy a heart-shaped serving tray to present it. Or custom engrave a bracelet with a romantic message.

A romantic evening “home alone" can jumpstart your romance again. Create a fun theme for your evening and buy costumes to match it. Order in a dinner so you only have to heat and serve.

Indulge yourselves with a romantic and sexy getaway. If you have children, maybe a relative or trusted friends can take them for one night so you can enjoy a private celebration. Get a suite and decorate it beforehand. Set up candles, strew the bed with flower petals, sexy lingerie and fun toys. Put on your favorite music and leisurely give each other a massage to get into the mood.

Personalized gifts are very appreciated, especially when they include words of love or a happy photo of you together. Create a “love" gift basket. Include items such photos, love coupons, a framed love letter, a small box of chocolates, massage oils, a few fresh flowers, aromatic candles, bottle of wine or small romantic trinkets with special meanings to your marriage.

Show how much you appreciate your husband or wife and plan your anniversary celebration around something that they always wanted to do but haven't done yet.

The best wedding anniversary gift expresses what romance uniquely means to your marriage and each other. Carefully listen for your spouse's hints and clues. But give your husband or wife the gift that they truly want: to know that you cherish your love and marriage, and always will.

What to do when your heart says yes but your wedding budget says no

title:What To Do When Your Heart Says Yes, But Your Wedding Budget Says No

author:Amy Spade

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_343.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Hopefully, you won’t need this section on budget trouble, but it does happen. Combine emotions with money and new families and it can certainly be the right mix for disaster. So, how do you deal with it and still see everyone smiling and happy at the wedding?

Making the rules

Silly as it sounds, it may help to have a few ground rules for all the adults that are chipping in for the wedding. Perhaps you could all go out to eat and discuss what you want to do. Figure out who will pay for what and write it down.

In the case of step and extended families, it may not be this easy. Unsettled discussions might creep in and accusations of one side doing more than the other can come to light. For this case, you want to talk to each side by themselves. This way neither side will be able to compare their amounts (and you won’t tell either side), and you can talk to them about their wishes in private.

It’s sad that you have to be the peacekeeper in this situation, but it will help for a smoother day.

A separate peace

Another way to deal with the budget and any possible arguments is to set up a separate checking account into which all of the contributors can make deposits. This way, only you know the balance because you’ll get the checks to make the actual deposits and everyone gets to chip in as they can.

You may also want to take the halves of the family out for different shopping errands. This way they can help with choosing items that you need, while also picking up the tab along the way. A lot of parents enjoy being active parts of the wedding plans, rather than just the money source.

In most cases, you won’t have to deal with too much fuss over the wedding budget, but if you should, the best advice is to talk about it immediately. The longer you wait on something, the more stressful it will become to you and you don’t need that when you’re trying to plan a happy day.

Sit everyone down and try to talk out whatever is bothering them. And if something is bothering you, it’s best to just be honest. Let them know if they don’t seem to be pulling their weight or if they’re constantly talking about your other parent negatively. There’s nothing to be gained from pretending that everything is alright.

Gift of peace and passion

title:Gift of Peace and Passion

author:Tracy Togliatti

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_629.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

Nothing tells a woman you love her more than your time and attention. This article is going to cover the basics of giving her a special night of massage and passion and also offer some ideas that you may never thought of before!

It’s a popular gift item to get gift certificates for a professional massage. That is a very nice gift. It’s sure to bring stress relief and significantly improves physical and emotional health. There is only one thing that is lacking with this gift. That is passion. My suggestion is to give her a gift certificate for a massage from you! That’s right, you are going to give her a nice, long, slow body massage that will completely relax and refresh her. It’s going to be sensual and loving and your imagination can lead you to how the massage will end up!

The first thing to do is to learn the techniques of a good massage. For an extra special gift, enroll both of you in a massage class that you can take together and then practice on each other. The rest of your gift can be your own special “graduation” party for the two of you when classes have ended.

If you don’t have the time to enroll in a class, or can’t find one close to where you live, do some Internet research. Go to your favorite search engine and type in “How to give a massage”. I ran the search and found dozens of sites that will teach you to massage like the pros do! I’m not going to spend a lot of time in this article describing the information I found, because I’m more interested in sharing the complete event with you.

Now, before you give the massage there are a few things you want to make sure you have on hand that will help set the mood and will enhance the complete experience. You want to involve all of her senses during your special time together.

Set a time where there will be no distractions. To make the time extra special, book a room at a nice hotel close by your house. There will be no thinking about the dirty dishes or a ringing telephone when you are away from it all. Otherwise, turn off the phones and make sure your time will be alone time without interruption from children or a barking dog.

The room you choose to be in should be warm with no drafts. Find some extra soft blankets and put them on the floor, or even a long sturdy table if you have one of those handy. Your goal is to provide a hard, but comfortable surface for the massage.

Next you’ll want to make sure and have some beautiful music ready. There is a big selection of romantic music you can choose from. Set it at a comfortable listening level, making sure it’s not too loud. My personal favorite romantic CD is Euphoria, Sensual Soundscapes. This CD is ideally suited for massage and passion!

Next, turn off the lights and have a variety of lighted candles around the room. The more candles, the better, without creating a fire hazard. Try to find unscented ones if the massage oil you will be using is scented. If the massage oil isn’t deliciously scented though, find candles that have an earthy, not fruity smell. The earthy smells are more relaxing and sensual.

Pick massage oil that is also healthy for her skin. This will leave her feeling scrumptious long after the massage is over. HappyHer Massage Oil contains Soybean Oil, Olive Oil, Almond Oil, Jojoba Oil, and Vitamin E. It also comes in a huge assortment of light scents to pick one you think she will like the best. Remember, she may end up returning the favor someday, so get something that you can both feel good about having rubbed into your skin.

Now that you have the room ready, bring your partner in. You don’t want to start with the massage immediately and here is what a lot of articles fail to tell you. Setting the mood is the most important element of the entire time you spend together. Share a glass of wine, or gourmet tea. Look deeply in your eyes and talk about the things about her that you are grateful for. It doesn’t have to be too emotional if you aren’t comfortable with that, but talk about nice things and let her know in detail what you plan to do to her. Your goal is to establish an emotional and mental connection. She will feel more secure and loved and will enjoy the rest of the evening’s attention a hundred times more.

During the massage, don’t talk. Gently let her know that you don’t want any talking to interrupt her feeling the massage from the deepest levels. Now, take your time and enjoy using your hands all over her body. The last tip I’ll leave you with is to make sure and let her know when the massage has ended how beautiful she is to you. Massage can be very intimate and you both might feel vulnerable afterwards. Making sure you are reassuring to her will assure you that you melt her heart completely!

I hope this article has your creative juices running over what you can do for the woman who has your heart. If you would like more suggestions, please feel free to email me anytime!

Valentines gift ideas

title:Valentines Gift Ideas

author:Tammy Corbett

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/relationships/article_411.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17

category:relationships

article:

It's that time of year again when we are all in search of the ultimate Valentines Gift ideas for that special day. Valentines Day comes year after year and let's face it most of us are reduced to uninspired purchases such as heart shaped chocolates, flowers, or we get really desperate and buy the all popular red teddy bear. You're not alone we have all made the mistake of repeat gift giving for no other reason than...last minute shopping.

Last minute shopping is at an all time high for most occasions including Valentines day and Christmas. Statistics revealed that the majority of Americans only start their shopping at least two days before the big day. Does this mean that we are living mechanically, barely getting through the daily grind, or are we just simply uninspired?

Most of us live in a blur of events, a hustle and bustle that weaves our existence from one day to the next. Work, school, kids, programs, birthdays, holidays...there's so much going on that we live uninspired lives.

Well it's never too late. You can still pull it together if you allow yourself to be inspired with new and original Valentines gift ideas. Start by taking some time to really absorb the richness of the holiday. It's a day of love, of appreciation for those we care for. It's a day set aside from all other days when we can stand up to the plate and really declare our love for that special someone.

You need a plan before you go into a store and succumb to buying something you didn't give any thought to. Think about the one you love and how that person makes you feel. Your gift should reflect that. Think about what that person values, what they treasure and what will put a smile on their face.

Here are a few Valentines gift ideas that might inspire you to reach a little further to make somebody's day one they will never forget.

1. Write a love letter and attach it to your present - this way you're not just signing your name to something someone else wrote. (If you want to add to that you can spray the envelope with a romantic scent to create the mood).

2. Make a coupon book - you can get as creative as you want!

3. Valentines Day treasure hunt - leave notes with clues your special someone can follow that will lead them to a special treasure.

4. Put together a basket - with a theme of course, filled with treasures like candles, wine and other trinkets.

5. Turn a picture into a painting - you can have a painting created from a photo done right at your local photo developing studio.

6. Valentine Love Plaque - cards gets stored in drawers and boxes but a plaque hangs on a wall or shelf where it can be read everyday.

Whatever way you choose to celebrate the holiday make it count for something special. Get inspired, be inventive, and most importantly, give from the heart!

How to prevent your partner from cheating

Most of us at some point during a relationship are confronted with the issue of infidelity. This article has been written to help you prevent your partner from cheating.

The goal is to make your partner want you and not someone else. Here are 10 simple things that you can do which should keep your partner interested in you.

1. First and foremost you should try to trust your partner. This may of course not always be the easiest thing to do. But making your partner feel that you trust them, gives them the signal that you are confident. A confident person is always more interesting compared to a person who isn't.

2. Give your partner the space they need. If you let a bird fly away it is more likely to be loyal to you compared to putting it in a cage. In this situation the bird is more likely to fly back to you. However, if the bird is kept in a cage and it eventually manages to escape it is less likely to come back to you. Trying to control your partner will almost definitely lead to disaster. Give them a certain amount of freedom - but not too much. Some partners feel that an excessive amount of freedom is a sign of not caring or not being interested.

3. Whether we like it or not - we all have our insecurities. Your partner will have them too. Massage his or her ego by making compliments once in a while. The important thing though is not to over do it. If you swamp your partner with too many compliments they are either unlikely to believe you or they simply won’t accept them. Someone who has severe insecurities will struggle to accept an overload of compliments because they don't actually believe they are worth it. In this situation your compliments could backfire. If the relationship is young, start off by giving the odd compliment here and there and monitor carefully how your partner reacts to them.

4. Don't over do it with gifts. By overloading your partner with an excessive amount of gifts you could be sending out the signal that you are worried they may leave you if you don’t continue to buy them gifts. This could display a sign of weakness or insecurity on your part. You definately want to avoid this. Of course, surprising your partner with occasional gifts, at the right time, is the right thing to do. In fact, giving someone a present, especially if it’s an earned surprise, can often be more rewarding than receiving a present. So feel free to give your partner flowers, chocolates, nice sex toys, a weekend break away, or even a voucher for a massage, etc. Just don’t overdo it.

5. Keep your partner intellectually stimulated. People easily get bored if their partner lacks ideas or if they are not up to date with what is happening in the world. Bring new ideas to the table - and sometimes insist on them - even if you're partner doesn't agree. Especially if your idea means a lot to you or if you are certain that you are right. A great way of keeping your partner intellectually stimulated is to teach them something that they could not do before. This, simply put, will make you an interesting partner to be around.

6. Make an effort to look good - this ensures that you remain attractive in the eyes of your partner. Go to the gym, do yoga, go for a swim or do some other form regular physical exercise. Please bare in mind though that simply looking good is not everything. Mental attraction carries a lot more weight in a relationship compared to physical attraction.

7. Build a healthy social life outside the relationship. The things you experience when you are around other people will bring new ideas into the relationship. If you spend every day of the week with your partner you run the risk of letting you relationship go stale. This is definitely something to avoid. Keep the relationship interesting.

8. Don't fall into the routine trap. Some routine is definitely healthy in a relationship as it provides a certain amount of stability. Stability is without a doubt something we all need. However, too much routine sometimes can lead to boredom. Boredom can (not always) cause your partner to look elsewhere. Naturally this is something you want to avoid. It's important to strike a healthy balance between stability and change. Some examples of change: Introduce new foods to the relationship, don't always go to the same places on holiday, invite different people around for dinner, try a new hobby and in general – don’t be frightened to be spontaneous. Doing these things demonstrates to your partner that you are not afraid of change and it displays confidence. Confidence is definitely an attractive feature.

9. Don't be too indecisive. Constant indecisiveness can be a sign of weakness. What you definitely don't want is that your partner starts to make all the decisions for you. This can lead to a partner walking all over the other person. If someone starts to do that they start to take their partner for granted. This is something that you definitely want to avoid. Although a certain amount of indecisivness can on occasion be attractive as it will give your partner a chance to take the lead. The important thing here to remember is that it should not always be the same person who is in control. Control, in a healthy relationship, is very much a shared thing.

10. Finally, on a more lighthearted note - don't forget to smile and laugh. In fact it's very important to laugh and smile in any realtionship. Smiles and laughter will transfer to your partner - and they can draw from that, especially if they are having a bad day. Smiling and laughing also is a form of showing emotions. People who are able to show emotions display a certain amount of confidence. And that can only be a good thing.

To round of my article I would like to summarise what we have just learned. The two most important things in a relationship are Trust and Confidence. Have the confidence to occasionally show resistance. Resistance reminds your partner that you are actually there and that you form an important part in the relationship. Again, dont over do it with resistance - find a healthy dose. After having read all 10 points above - dont try to introduce them all to the relationship at once. You dont want your partner to think: "Oh, whats wrong with him/her?" Introduce them slowly, one by one. As you work your way through the list you're confidence will start to grow automatically - because you will start to see signs of success and you will get the feeling that you have achieved something.

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