Shining the light of hope

title:Shining The Light of Hope

author:Mark Hendricks

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_2916.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



You will want to share something with someone today.

Actually, with at least two people.

One person that you know very well.

And one person that you do not know well at all, and also needs to hear from you today.

The one you know well needs to hear from you right now.

The one you do not know at all will become evident to you when you meet them today for the first time as you go about your day.

By sharing this message with both of them, you will also receive the message - which is exactly why you must share the message with them first.

The message is one of HOPE.

Hope is the feeling that what you want to happen... will happen.

It's what keeps us going when we feel overwhelmed with problems, frustrations, and situations that seem insurmountable to us at the moment.

And I am sharing HOPE with you right now.

HOPE that what you want to happen... will happen.

It's kind of like shining a flashlight on a dark and unknown path so you can more easily see the way to go.

It's like opening the door that seems too heavy for you to open it alone.

It's like giving a word of encouragement to someone who is having trouble solving a problem and under such stress they cannot see their situation clear enough to take that first step forward without your help.

Right now, call that someone you know and give them HOPE.

And throughout your day today, be on the lookout for that someone you don't know, who needs HOPE and shine a light on their path too.

By shining a light of HOPE on their path, you will shine the light of HOPE on your own journey's path too.

(c) 2005 Mark Hendricks - http://www. swiftkickinthebutt. com

A psychic gift helps you distinguish bad luck or blessing in disguise

title:A Psychic Gift Helps You Distinguish... Bad Luck ... Or Blessing In Disguise?

author:Zach Keyer

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_2650.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



There was a woman who was in such a hurry to go to the airport.

She told the cab driver to step on it. She was so engrossed

with her own thoughts that she was not aware they were going

on a different route.

Suddenly, a man went inside the cab and took her handbag where

she placed her visa, passport, and all her money for the trip.

The driver, who was in cahoots with the robber, left her in the

middle of that dark street. She cursed the world for being so

mean to her, and she kept on thinking how unlucky she was to

be in that situation.

That very same night, she heard a shocking news. Tears flowed

down her face. Flight 230 has crashed! It was the plane where

she was supposed to board into. If she have not lost her

precious belongings, she could have lost something far more

important - her life!

Sometimes bad things really happen. We lost our money, failed

our exams, or get rejected by others. There are times when

nothing seems to go our way.

So what do we do about it? Are we going to be disappointed?

The answer is a resounding "No!" We must take all these

frustrations out of our chest and start all over again with

the consistent faith that we will get what we deserved.

So what if you failed the exams? Maybe you'd be more

successful and much happier in another field. You were

rejected by your boyfriend/ girlfriend? There are plenty

of others out there who are much better and who are much more

deserving of your love and affection.

Don't waste your time and energy on things that can't be

changed. Continuous worrying will only affect your health

on the long run, and you'd be doing much more damage than

what was previously done.

Set yourself free. Move onwards with the conviction of a


What if we turn the tables around? What if you never ran

out of good luck?

There was this man who won the lottery. He thought he was the

luckiest person in the world. He became greedy and wasted

all his money on everything he could get his hands on.

One day, he made it on the front page of the newspaper again.

But this time, it was a different story. He was killed

because of his riches.

If you attain good luck, never be too secure about it either.

Pray for protection and guidance. Life is so unpredictable.

You just won't know what will happen next.

Live one day at a time. Sometimes we subject ourselves to

unnecessary mental and emotional torture. We ask ourselves,

"What if I don't get this done in time?" or "What if my

family leaves me and I've got no one else to turn to?"

Work at the present moment. Do what must be done at present

and the future will turn out just fine. Believe me. And

believe in yourself. As Captain Planet always says: "The

power is yours!"

Unleash the power of listening and build rapport

A vital skill in becoming an effective communicator is the ability to listen. Listening skills are not taught in school, and sadly are largely undeveloped skill in many people. To listen effectively is a powerful skill that can be learnt and practiced. You will gain more respect and esteem through listening rather than through talking

It’s funny how sometimes you associate a certain phrase with someone. I knew someone called Ray and what I remember about him the most was when he was listening to someone talk he would keep saying “I hear you” I would wonder whether he was saying that because he heard, but disagreed with what the person was saying, or if it was a noncommittal filler

There is however a great difference between hearing and listening. Hearing refers to the physical dimension of the sound waves striking the ear and the brain processing them into meaningful information. Listening, however, involves far more than the hearing process. It incorporates paying attention and focusing with the intention of understanding and responding appropriately.

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and to be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. Not only that but when people feel that you have really listened to them, you will gain their respect and they will value and give you the credibility to speak.

Consider how you feel when you sense someone is really listening to what you have to say.

You feel good, you feel understood, and more connected to the person who is listening. The fact that they are interested causes you to feel cared for.

One important element of listening is the ability to attend.

Attending is the process where we focus in on a message and filter out others that are distracting. It is to be able to focus on what the person is saying, and filter out all the other things that may be happening at the same time.

Someone once said (his name was anonymous) that the reason history repeats itself is because no one was listening the first time. When I first heard that, I realized history always repeating in my house especially around bedtime! That is the time when my kids practice attending. They focus on what they are doing (and it’s not homework) and filter me out as a distraction each time I remind them that it’s bedtime!

One of the biggest distractions to attending is our desire to talk

The desire to talk is so strong that while the other person is talking we can be thinking about what we are going to say next, and waiting for an opportunity to speak. As we focus on what we are going to say or interject, our attention goes from what the person is saying to our own thoughts. Although appearing to be interested and attentive, we can easily be distracted by our thoughts or something else that may be happening at the same time. At that point perhaps we do fall into merely hearing and not listening. Our mind’s attention has drifted onto other things and is no longer intent on understanding and responding.

True listening is a skill which needs to be learnt and practiced because the mind functions seven times more quickly than it is possible to speak. Therefore the mind needs to be slowed down and focused on what the person is saying, and not pay attention to other irrelevant thoughts or distractions.

One of my all time favourite books is “The Success Principles” written by Jack Canfield.

One of the Principles he writes about in the book is how to use the power of listening as a way of building rapport and connecting with people. Jack created a series of four questions that he uses in personal and business situations. He asks the questions one after another. The first time he tried it was with his sister Kim. He asked the first question and listened to her response. When she had finished he asked the next question, and continued in this manner through all the questions.

Afterwards Kim smiled said to him “That’s the best conversation I think we’ve ever had. I feel so clear and focused. I know exactly what I need to go and do now. Thank you” He was amazed as he hadn’t said a word except to ask the four questions, and had resisted the inclination to jump in with his own responses. He has found this works everytime and uses the questions frequently.

I have used this strategy, but by using my own questions and have been amazed at the results. Not only have the questions given me a greater understanding of the person, but through the fact of actively listening to people without commenting or putting my 2 cents worth in they have experienced encouragement and a sense of connectedness. I now make sure that I ask questions and listen more than I speak.

I want you to take a moment now to think of a question that you could use to practice actively listening, and resist the impulse to speak. When you have the opportunity, use your question or questions and experience the power of building rapport with others through the power of listening.

The happiness recipe attitude memories and authentic communication

title:The Happiness Recipe - Attitude, Memories, and Authentic Communication

author:Terry Vermeylen

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_4417.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:19



I’ve done an enormous amount of research on happiness over the years and it is a subject I am continually fascinated by. Human beings are already such incredibly complex creatures. Add on the ever-evolving technological and materialistic age we live in, and happiness seems to become more and more elusive. So what can we do to create more bliss in our busy lives? Here are three happiness nuggets I’ve discovered over the years.

Build happy memories

On vacation a few years ago, we packed the kids into the car and drove down to Cape Cod. It was cold, wet and miserable. After a few days the sun broke through the rain clouds, and we headed off to the beach in Chatham. Far off in the distance, we saw a strange black mass. Rocks? What was it? We kept on walking. As we neared that big black mass, we discovered, much to our surprise, a huge group of over two hundred seals playfully lollygagging on a sandbar, one hundred feet in front of us! The kids fell madly in love with the cute, plump baby seals gazing at us with huge, moist brown eyes. We parked ourselves on the beach, sitting in awe of the wonderful scene, enjoying it for hours on end.

Do you think that the kids are happy when I bring up that memory? Absolutely! It lights up their faces (and mine) every time. Do they think about their discarded video games the same way? Heck, no! Memories like that last a lifetime. And it doesn’t have to be cute baby seals. How about a hike in the mountains? Or a trip to the zoo? Happy memories last a lifetime, “stuff “doesn’t.

A great attitude is only one thought away.

How many times have you asked someone at work, at the grocery store, or even friends, “How’s it going,” only to be met with a mumbled, “Not too bad”? I’ve come across plenty of unhappy people, especially in the service industry, to the point where I try to avoid any scowling, grumbling or just plain mean people who seem to be living their lives in a perpetual funk. But there’s a particular lady at my grocery store who always has a bright smile on her face, a cheery hello and will go the extra mile to happily clip out coupons for me! I always try to pass through her cash because she makes my day that much happier. She expresses herself in such an unabashedly joyful manner that I highly doubt she comes into work with that “It’s not going too bad” that we all hear time and time again.

Not going too bad?? That just saddens me. So, choose your mannerisms, body language and words carefully. How about “It’s going great”? Along with a great big smile, of course! You’ll have people doing a quick double take and maybe you’ll even pass your mood along to others. The power of attitude is simply amazing.

Old ladies in Italy probably don’t worship the Internet and have Ipods.

During a trip to Florence, Italy, I peered out my window one morning and was struck by a scene of older Italian ladies amicably chatting together. Adding to the charm was all the washed, white bed sheets flapping on clotheslines over the street – the sort of scene out of an old movie. These ladies certainly don’t sit in front of a computer and chat over the Internet! And that’s what’s scary about our supposedly technologically superior culture. It was supposed to bring us closer together. Remember global community and all that jazz? But has it brought us closer together?

We seem to spend more time hunkered down in front of computers or video games, oblivious to our neighbours in our cocoon of electronics and suburbia. Connecting with friends, neighbours and your kids can be deeply satisfying when all the technological clutter is pushed aside. And those connections are the most genuine and will probably be the happiest you have. Those Italian ladies were really enjoying their face-to-face time. Maybe it’s time for a little less e-mail and chat sites and a little more authentic communication in order to reconnect with our humanness. We’ll be that much happier for it.

Let’s make a little happiness recipe.

One brimming cup of ever lasting wonderful memories,

One packed cup of positive attitude,

One overflowing cup of authentic communication.

Mix well.

Makes many delightful servings.

Please consider this article for your website, blog or ezine. Permission to reprint if by-line stays intact and links are activated on the Internet.

Footprints and monuments slow down

title:Footprints and Monuments - Slow Down

author:Jeff Earlywine

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_424.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17



Every month I usually sit down and write an article around the topics of leadership, teamwork, vision, or self-improvement. However, this month I am only passing on something that came across my desk a few days ago. If this means something to you - pass it on, if not simply delete it and be looking for next month's article that will surely help you live your life to your potential.

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar.

The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not. Thought for the Day:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning. Face it, friend - He is crazy about you! Slow down and enjoy the life God is allowing you to live.

Footprints and Monuments is a free monthly leadership and motivational e-newsletter. No names receiving this e-newsletter are sold or distributed to any other source. You are encouraged to forward this monthly article to anyone in your address book. To un-subscribe please reply back with "Un-subscribe" in the subject field.

www. jeffearlywine. com

What if you don t try

title:What If You Don’t Try?

author:Adebola A. Oni

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_4288.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:19



I have seen and heard lot of people giving excuses for their inability to act out their dreams. The truth of the matter is that there is hardly anybody existing on this earth that does not have a dream or an object of desire. But the unfortunate thing is that majority put up reasons why they couldn’t or wouldn’t live their dreams.

When a dream comes to the mind of so many people, the first thing they do is to ask themselves, where the resources to achieve the dream will come from. Some people even doubt if they have the abilities to carry out such a dream. Another crippling question most ask is, “What if I fail?” This is the most debilitating of all the reasons people don’t achieve much in life. They tend to focus more on the impeding failure than success! Once this question comes to mind, you will start thinking of people who will mock you when you fail and this will stop you from even taking a step.

How many times have we heard the word, “No pain, No gain?” What meaning does this word bring up in your mind? It is always frightening to take risks and try new things but those who try are those who succeed. If the Wright brothers have been crippled by the fear of failure, we will not have had the aeroplane today and we will be spending days, if not months, to get to our various destinations, for a journey of a few hours by the aeroplane. Other technological advancements also wouldn’t have been possible if the thought of failure has predominated the mind of their architects.

One truth about failure/mistake is that we will keep making one as long as we are still humans. Your decision not to act may even be a GREATER mistake because you never can tell what you would have become if you have acted on your dreams. Mistakes make one grow in wisdom, experience and character. In order words, you will become wiser for just having tried.

Rick Warren, the author of “Purpose Driven Life”, writes: “I could have taken a hundred gift and ability tests as a young man and would NEVER have discovered that I was gifted at teaching, because I had never done it! It was only after I began accepting opportunities to speak that I saw the results, received confirmation from others and realised God has gifted me to do this.” The same is applicable to every one of us; we never can tell what we can do unless we try.

So anytime a dream comes to your mind, instead of asking what if you fail, the question should be: “What if I don’t try?” Will you be able to imagine all the opportunities you will lose? Unless you are willing to risk getting involved, you are not going to know what you are good at.

The road to success is never mistake-free, but then neither is road to failure. So my dear, the choice is yours. I don’t know what it will be like for you when you are on your death bead and you looked back at how you spent your life and it says: “When it came time to die, I had not lived!” This is my greatest fear and it should be your only fear. Will you look back at your life and be happy or will it be full of regret?


It is my greatest desire that this will be a year of great fulfilment for you.

This is to your success this year,

Adebola A. Oni

Looking to where the grass is greener

title:Looking To Where The Grass Is Greener?

author:Michaela Scherr

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_2986.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



Change is as good as a holiday or so it goes.

Is it really? From past experience, some changes can actually make things worse than they were before.

What if the only thing we changed was to deal with things in a different way? Get a different perspective on things?

I’ve written this article specifically for individuals contemplating change with the idea of making things better, brighter and different. This change could be anything from relationship/s, career, to relocating somewhere else (having a sea change is an example). It could also be in the form of personal development through attending courses, reading and networking.

Whatever it is for you, it may possibly be that what you’re searching for is available to you right now, with no need to look very far. It’s called inner peace and with it comes a change of perspective - looking at life in a different way. A state of being that will allow you to ‘get on with it’ regardless of what’s happening in your external environment.

Basically, inner peace is a state of mind where you’re not impacted by external circumstances, you simply just ‘are’. Whenever I step into peace no issue agitates me, I have no attachment to anything; I just am. Quite simply, it’s peaceful, serene.

Inner peace… It sounds pretty clichйd I know, but it is just that, peace on the inside whilst around you chaos reigns. For me the inside bit is the place I’d rather be. I liken it to watching a game of football from a front row seat. I can see how I relate to others and them to me, in my social, work, spiritual, and family life. I can also see the never ending possibilities of what life has to offer. This is where I get the big picture stuff.

It’s a place I love visiting to rebalance, regenerate, and centre myself. When I return and again become aware of my physical environment, the clarity to see how things really are is almost blinding. Clarity: when there is total clearness about everything and anything. It’s when actions are totally understood as well as the consequences of those actions.

I’ve personally yearned for change and have observed others with same. This desire for change can become all encompassing and when change fails to happen the way we’d like it to, or thought it would be, the disappointment can lead to hopelessness and in some ways be emotionally crippling.

The adage ‘The grass is greener on the other side of the fence’ is not necessarily true. I’ve been there done that, although I failed to buy the t-shirt. All I needed mostly was a different way of looking at my situation.

If you’re contemplating creating major change in your life think carefully about why you want it in the first place. Maybe a different perspective is all the change that’s required.

Give yourself some time to truthfully answer and reflect on the following questions:

1. What would happen if I started to create change for myself?

2. What would happen if I left things unchanged?

3. Who will I become through having that change happen?

4. What needs to happen for me to truly get the most out of life?

5. Where will I be, and what will I be doing once I’ve changed what I wanted to?

6. How will this change affect your family and other areas of your life?

7. What would happen if you changed your attitude?

8. If you didn’t change your attitude what would happen?

9. What is it that I need to do now in order to enjoy life the way it is?

10. Will it be worth it?

11. What will I lose?

12. What will I gain?

13. What are all the positive outcomes if I do not create change? (There’s always a positive, even when we perceive something as negative).

I had a huge 10 year goal until recently. After I jotted down all the positive outcomes if I didn’t pursue my dream, I sighed with relief. It was much better for me and the family, not to have this particular outcome.

Change can be challenging and scary. What was known before becomes outdated, friendships are outgrown, new ones are formed, and if things were comfortable previously, now it’s time to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. Adjustment takes time. Learning to access inner peace can take time too.

Some people fully immerse themselves in the change process, whereby others may take a little while longer and that’s ok too. It’s different for each of the six billion people on this planet.

May change in whatever form you choose bring you success and abundance in all things great and wonderful.

The happiest person in america what s sex got to do with it

title:The Happiest Person In America: What'S Sex Got To Do With It?

author:David Leonhardt

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_196.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17



Who is the happiest person in America? USA Today featured Happiest Person in a cover story in its USA Weekend magazine. Bad news: it's not you. Nor is it me.

Just how did they find Happiest Person and determine that he is indeed the happiest person in America? The USA Today research team appears to have used an elegantly simple three-step process.

First, they identified "the world's leading authority on happiness", Martin Seligman ... which must have come as a wee bit of a surprise to several of his equally well-known and equally well-respected peers. How they picked Seligman remains more of a mystery than how a land-locked nation of mountains and yodeling became home to the holy grail of yachting, but we are working feverishly to crack the code.

Next, they asked Seligman to name six principles of happiness. Seligman listed couple strengths, a win-win approach, savoring success, playing to one's strengths, opening doors to opportunity and finding meaning in life.

Finally, they applied Seligman's principles to determine who best matches them. Naawww, just kidding. That would make way too much sense. Instead, USA Today created a make-believe process of its own that stands out from Seligman's list like the Jolly Green Giant at a dwarf convention. Here is the USA Today process.

Geography. It seems that Happiest Person must live in the best place to live, which is Virginia Beach, in case you didn't know. If somebody even happier than Happiest Person lives in San Francisco or Vermont, the USA Today research team does not want to know.

Why confine their search to one town? Could geography be the secret to happiness that Seligman failed to mention? True, research does show that people living in free societies tend to be happier than others, but there is no evidence that where you live within the free world makes a difference.

Sex. Women are prone to higher emotional highs and lower emotional lows, whereas men are prone to more constant emotions. So Happiest Person must be a man, concludes USA Today. While the science does hit the bull's eye, the conclusion misses the barn wall. I suppose they'll be telling us that Seattle is the sunniest spot in America because the weather fluctuates less than in The Sunshine State.

Family. Happiest Person is married, has children, and is healthy. People with intimate relationships do tend to be happier, and marriage is a fairly good indicator (especially for men). And health is important. These may not be among Seligman's six principles, but let's not argue against good health.

Money. Happiest person has a "good, dependable job" as a stockbroker, a 2,300 square foot house (with an eat-in kitchen and a deck!). The truth comes out – money does buy happiness, according to the USA Today research team.

In fact, studies show that money makes a difference only if it elevates a person above the poverty level. When a person has means enough not to struggle for basic necessities, money rarely buys happiness.

Brand-awareness. This one must have made the big ad agency tycoons drool in their Corn Flakes. Happiest Person is for real because he likes all the right brands! He "digs" Coca-cola, so he must be the real thing. And he loves Craftsman tools and Dell computers. Say no more.

Where does the USA Weekend exposй leave the rest of us? If you are a little old lady enjoying retirement in Atlanta or a student conquering new fields of knowledge in Ann Arbor, you clearly are not happy enough for USA Today. But cheer up, even The Happy Guy eats "donuts" rather than "Krispy Kremes".

What s love got to do with it mhm mental health matters

title:What's Love Got to Do With It? (MHM-Mental Health Matters)

author:Arthur Buchanan

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_3984.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:19



Hey I bet you are saying to yourself what does love got to do with it? That my friend is simple, it’s got everything to do with it! You can’t stand there and tell me or even sit there and tell me that love doesn’t have or play a huge roll in your life!

It has everything to do with you. You want to find a mate and be loved, don’t you? Say yes, because I know this to be true. Now why is it are primal interest to love and be loved? When Adam was alone in the Garden of Eden, he got lonely and God in his infinite wisdom, decide to make Adam a mate, from his own rib even.

Now why would Adam become lonely in the Garden of Eden, a perfect place? Now do you see were the very first love and be loved took place? That’s right with the very first person and God agreed with him, so he really must have been lonely and wanted to be loved!

Now we know for a fact that God loved Adam and perfectly I might add, but why was that not good enough for the human race? It’s simple he felt the need to be loved by another human to be complete.

Now do you feel that God made a mistake here? I mean he is the all knowing, the alpha the omega, the begging and the end, so it would seem that he knew it all, does that make sense to you so far?

Well if he knew already that Adam was going to get lonely, why wouldn’t he have created Eve at the same time? We’ve already stated he knows all, so why make Adam suffer all those years? Was it because he loved to see him in pain? I think not!

Now here goes another one of my crazy theories, God knew Adam would indeed get lonely, so this was no big surprise to him. What we don’t understand is why God didn’t make Eva right from the get go? Why not you may be asking, well that’s a very good question you asked and I’ll do my best to answer this question of yours.

It’s sort of like this God knew Adam would get lonely, but he also knew that we as humans built in his own image, would get lonely by ourselves and that we would need a mate. The two shall leave there home and become one. Now here is the tricky part of the whole thing! God knew that Adam and Eve would eat the so called forbidden fruit of good and evil, knowing this he created them anyway, not because he didn’t love them but because of the fact that he loved them.

Now here is were it gets heavy. The so called first sin was actually the first realization that we are part of God, the Holy Spirit will never leave or forsake you, and do you believe that statement? Well my friend Jesus himself said this and as far as I know he was the only sinless soul. Now would you agree with me on this?

Ok we have established that fact that we come from God and we have the Holy Sprit with us always. Has it ever occurred to you that we are collaborators in creation? What this means is God in his infinite wisdom, knew that Adam was incomplete and knew he needed a mate and he also gave us free will.

Now on ward this free will was not the first sin as we suspected, it was actually that we were human beings and connected to God. Yes God wanted it from the get go, for there to be a man and a woman. Why then was Adam lonely, it was God experiencing this, all of Adams feeling and this is why we are called collaborators in creation.

Now when God and Adam grew tired of being lonely and wanted another person to be with them, he created Eva, now adding a new dimension to the relationship, was two humans together both one with God, yet they were creating their time together and God was pleased and he was now exercising the joy of a complete human race.

So Adam and Eva feel in love in the human form and were collaborators in creation with God, that brought his understanding of the human relationship and how he was experiencing the relationship with them and all humans to come for generation and generations and it all started with the basics of love is all there is and when God felt that he needed more than the human races feeling, he then sent his only son The Jesus to earth to feel all that was left out with just human relationships.

He experienced love of the only true form and that would be Jesus, the only sinless soul, who would transform this thing we call death, which started when we first realized that we where part of God.

Now can you see how that love is all there is and God created us to love one another and the two shall become one and love thy neighbor as you love thy self, so yes love does play a big role in the workings of the whole universe and yes love is all there is!

Please pass this article around to whoever you feel it may help. Friends and family members, just keep the contact box below untoched and give proper credit to the author.

Hot rod hundley the man with a lot to smile about

title:Hot Rod Hundley: The Man with a Lot to Smile About!

author:Kathleen Gage

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_1101.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



One of the first things you notice about Hot Rod Hundley is his contagious smile. Anyone within eyeshot is quickly drawn to this former NBA All Star.

Most folks know Rod Hundley as the announcer for the Utah Jazz games on radio and television. He has the distinction of being the only NBA player who is also an NBA announcer. With a unique style and familiar voice that have made him one of the most popular and well-recognized broadcasters ever, public perception can often be deceiving.

I had heard rumors about Hot Rod Hundley that made me wonder who I would be encountering. Contrary to what I had heard, rather than meeting a hard drinking, womanizer who is only concerned about pinching pennies, I encountered a caring grandfather and a man who has done more for children’s causes than most people can even begin to imagine.

So much of who Hot Rod is today was influenced by his tough upbringing in Charleston, West Virginia. Abandoned by his parents at an early age, Rod learned early on to fend for himself. He quickly learned not to grow too attached to any one person or place. His formative years were ones that didn’t offer a lot of stability. In his young mind, the only thing he knew he could count on was basketball.

As he tells it, “I went from basketball, then education, then pro player, then broadcasting.”

When his career took off, he was able to occasionally visit his birth mother when he would go to Washington, D. C. He remembers how hard she had to work to support herself. When she could find work, she was a waitress or found jobs in hotels. Rod’s mother lived a tough life until she passed on at the age of 82.

Never knowing his father, Rod had to determine his role as a father for himself. One of the saving graces for Rod was his experiences as a kid at the YMCA.

“I used to sneak into the Y so I could stay off the streets and I would have somewhere to spend my days. There was a guy that would help me get in. I spent most of my time playing basketball.”

Another favorite place for Hot Rod to hang out was the Boys and Girls Club. It was these experiences in his formative years that are evident in the time and energy he gives back to nonprofit organizations such as the YMCA.

The first opportunity I had to see Hot Rod “in action” was at The YMCA's Sports Night to benefit kids. As one of the YMCA’s primary fundraisers each year, with Hot Rod in the driver’s seat being roasted, the organization was able to raise $95,000 for YMCA Camp Roger.

“What I experienced as a kid I now give back to. It’s just something I do. I know what it feels like to need the safety of a place like the Y or the Boys and Girls Club,” Rod says matter-of-factly.

At an early age, Rod was known for his great smile. He had one teacher, Mrs. Anderson, who said to keep smiling. But he didn’t always have something to smile about. Due to his rough upbringing, his dental health deteriorated to the point that he had to have major work done in the early 1970’s. At that time, cosmetic dentistry was not very popular. Qualified cosmetic dentists were few and far between.

Hot Rod was fortunate enough to find a cosmetic dentist that was relatively good at what he did. But the dental products made then were no match for the high quality products found today.

When Rod moved to Salt Lake in the 1980’s he needed to find another dentist. He was introduced to Dr. Scott Kiser of Smiles Dentistry through his insurance agent. At that point in his life, he had become very comfortable financially. He was no longer limited as to who could see for his dental care.

“I liked Dr. Kiser from the first time I met him. He is very personable and really knows what he is doing. A great dentist. “

“Funny how you can know someone for so long and yet there are things about them you don’t know. When we were working on the big benefit for the YMCA, I was asked to attend a Board of Directors meeting. Little did I realize that Dr. Kiser sits on the board of the YMCA. Have to say, that only served to make me respect him that much more. It was a great surprise.”

One trait Rod readily admits to is his propensity to impulse buying. And yet, when it comes to his dental health, impulse is not a part of the equation. What really matters to him is excellence and experience. That is why he continues to see Dr. Kiser.

“I actually had a lot of my original smile work redone by Dr. Kiser. He is incredible with his ability to know what a patient wants and needs. As long as he is in practice, I will continue to see him. Why would I change? No reason to when you’ve got the very best. I would highly recommend him.”

Something Rod and Dr. Kiser have in common is their concern for the well being of children. Although Rod readily admits he wasn’t the greatest father, he just as readily admits he makes a really good grandfather. As the proud grandfather of two grandsons, ages one and a four, Rod is quick to offer advice on the importance of giving love and guidance to children.

Rod has a great desire to keep his grandsons out of trouble. His concern is fueled by the fact that many cities no longer have clubs for young boys to go in order to have a safe haven. He is a strong believer that kids need to meet other kids and together learn how to deal with life. Sports provide a great way to help kids learn how to do this.

When asked if you can tell if a kid is destined to be a pro, Rod is convinced that you intuitively know. It’s all in the way they respond to a sport. Do they take to it or do they have to be forced? Although he believes parents should encourage their kids to get involved in sports, he also believes it is unhealthy to force them to do something that is completely out of context of who the child is. He advises parents to take the time to explore the many sports available to them.

He is quick to point out that having a child sit in front of the television or computer all day and night is as unhealthy as you can get. He strongly believes children need to be physically active. By the same token, he also believes kids should be taught the gift of reading. “There’s a whole world waiting to be discovered through reading. Get them to read the newspaper everyday. Imagine what they can do with so much knowledge.”

Realizing how hard he had to work for his success, he wants others to know that no matter what they want in life they need to work at it. “Nothing was handed to me. How much time are people willing to put into their success? Problem with lots of people is they don’t want to work for something. And that’s not how life is. You have to put the time in to become the best. That’s just the way it is. You can be born and blessed with ability but if you don’t take advantage of it, it’s a waste.”

When asked what he is most proud of, surprisingly it isn’t all the awards and Hall of Fame recognition he has received. It is his three daughters and whom he feels have all turned out to be stellar women. And of course his grandsons.

With a mischievous smile he does admit his two most recent recognitions are something he is very proud of. As the recipient of the 2004 Utah Broadcasters Hall of Fame and the 2003 Springfield Massachusetts Basketball Hall of Fame, Hot Rod has a lot to be proud of. A career that is the envy and awe of so many, more awards than can be counted, fame and fortune, people the world round that love and adore him, three great daughters, and two fabulous grandsons. Now that’s definitely something to smile about.

About Dr. Scott Kiser

Dr. Scott Kiser has been practicing general dentistry in Salt Lake City, Utah for over 20 years. Dr. Kiser has used only mercury-free substances in his treatments since the mid 90’s and concentrates his practice in the areas of sedation dentistry and complete smile makeovers. Consumer Research Council of America selected him as Utah’s Top Cosmetic Dentist of 2003 - 04. He also serves on the Board of Directors for the YMCA of Utah Visit www. greatsmilesutah. com to sign up for a FREE monthly online newsletter or for more information on Dr. Kiser and all of his services.

Copyright: © 2004 by Kathleen Gage

Publishing Guidelines: You may publish my article in your newsletter, on your web site, or in your print publication provided you include the resource box at the end. Notification would be appreciated but is not required.

It takes a lot of a little to see the good times roll

title:It Takes A Lot Of A Little To See The Good Times Roll

author:Richard Vegas

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_326.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17



Have you ever wondered why some people are just naturally successful? Why success just seems to fall on them with everything they do? You know.. The guy with the green thumb! And, everything he touches turns to gold.

Picture Perfect Luck!

Well, there's no such thing. Luck or if you prefer "happenstance", does have a way of falling on us from time to time. But, I don't think anyone is trying to live a life of daily luck. If they are, they have some tall explaining to do. Cause, it ain't working!

You see, it takes a lot less effort to succeed than to fail. Let me explain! From the time we begin going to school at six years old, we are bombarded with knowledge. Everything they can possibly throw at us is crammed in our heads for the sake of learning. To make us smart!

And, that's all a good thing. The downside to it is this; we carry that attitude and habit with us all through our life. We try to learn a little about everything so we can be informed. Have you ever heard a radio talk show host that said something you knew was not true?

For A Feather In His Cap!

There this guy is on the radio talking about a subject you are an expert in and you know the guy is full of bananas. He is talking to the whole city, giving them erroneous advice, maybe doing some people harm, and you think, how can this bozo say that?

Here is the situation. He's trying to learn a little about a lot. Every time we try to learn a little about a lot, we are depending on luck to bail us out.

And that's what our radio talk show host is doing. He tries to learn something about everything so he will appear informed, and make his listening audience happy, and never can become an expert in anything.

I only make this analogy because I hear it happen all the time. I'm certainly not picking on Radio talk show hosts. I only make illustrations in my articles to strike your thinking, not to criticize anyone.

Make No Bones About It!

It takes less time to succeed than to fail when you concentrate your thoughts, efforts and motivation on becoming an expert in a desired project. When you are learning a lot about a little in this fashion, you quickly become an expert and success is quickly to follow.

When you choose to follow the other path, and learn a little about a lot, you slow the process to success in anything you're trying to learn. Seems obvious, because you're learning too many different things.

Success is guaranteed if you choose the lot about a little approach. But, you could seriously hinder your success in anything if you fail to recognize these universal principles.

Sound As A Dollar!

The effort you expend to learn anything new takes energy. Learning is as energy exhaustive as physical labor. I have noticed times in my own life when I was far more tired than I should have been. Those times usually were when I was trying to do too many things at once.

You can get tired just focusing on one task at hand also. But, this type of concentrated energy is not nearly as tiring. Think about some day at work when you were running in fifteen different directions and how the anxiety and frustration level was rising.

Then think about some day at work when you were only having to deal with one item and how the anxiety was usually less. This is generally true, but as anything goes in this life, it can be the opposite. That usually depends on how bad you want it at the time.

Simple as all this may seem, it's the fastest way to success. Because as success shows up in whatever we're doing, we get inspired. As we get inspired the motivation level rises, as the motivation rises, we start smelling success.

Star Power!

Then that becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. When we start smelling success, our self-esteem goes up; when that happens, we are driving in the fast lane.

Nothing stands still, there is constant change from within and from without. If you were to use a magnifying glass to concentrate the rays of the sun on a fallen log in the forest, you could start a fire in just a few minutes. But, the same sun would shine on that log for decades without starting a fire without the magnifying glass.

Too Many Irons In The Fire!

Concentrating your efforts to learn a lot about a little will propel you leaps and bounds ahead of where you would be otherwise. It takes time to succeed, it takes time to fail, it takes less time to succeed than to fail.

As we think about it the choice becomes clear. Short term success, versus long term failure. Long term failure can be avoided in every circumstance if we concentrate our attention, efforts, knowledge towards learning everything possible about one thing.

Richard Vegas ©

Rightful owner

title:Rightful Owner

author:Wayne and Tamara

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_152.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17



Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 20, 2003

I was recently looking through some old photos when I found some of an ex-boyfriend when he was a child. I remember him telling me at the time these were the only photos that exist of him as a child, and that these are the only copies.

I want to send the photos to him so his family can have them. I have an old address of his parents. However, I don't want to send them by post with my address on the back of the envelope because I do not want any contact from him or his parents, nor for them to know where I live or work.

I'm happily married and desire no further contact from him. If I send the pictures without a return address and they no longer live there, the pictures will be lost forever. It's important for me that his family have these photos. Please help.


Pamela, people love a mystery. If you send the photos anonymously, it may well induce someone to play private investigator.

It could also set off a series of unintended effects. Imagine your ex-boyfriend is recently divorced. The arrival of the photos will seem cosmic and spiritual. He'll think divine forces are drawing you back to him. Or if he has not been in touch with his parents, they may think the prodigal son is returning. Or they may even fear he's been kidnapped for ransom.

You cannot control other people's reactions, but you can minimize their effect on you, especially if you follow a straightforward course.

Send a note with the photos to the parents. Explain to them what you explained to us. Mention that now you are married, you realize the importance of keeping family photos in the family. Use the address of a third party, such as that of a friend in a different city or country, and mention the return address is that of another.


An Open Space

I am 48, attractive, active, the mother of a teenage boy and a small business owner. I feel I am responsible, have integrity and am fun to be with.

The problem is I have never met, though I have been married twice, the man who was meant to be my partner. I have settled each time out of loneliness. I tried to make it work each time as best I could, and really, if I had seen the effort being given in return, would have made a go of it.

But each time it was evident they were not what I hoped for, and yes, the responsibility to become involved was mine. Now I see clearly what I lacked and will never settle again. It just doesn't work! But now I believe I will never find it.

I am at an age where men want younger women, and I have truly never met someone I could totally respect. It is a void, no matter how busy or productive I am, I never stop feeling. How can someone rid themselves of this empty feeling? And please do not say be busy and make yourself happy. I do that and it is not working.


Evette, we cannot make the empty space in your life go away. The space is there for a reason, and you have twice learned it cannot be filled by just anyone. That space is there for the person who belongs there. That is where that person fits.

If you take your son fishing, you cannot guarantee he will catch a fish. But it could happen. He has put himself in the way of catching fish. It is possible.

If you are busy in the sense of busywork, you cannot expect anything to happen. But if you are busy in the sense of living, growing and enlarging yourself, you have put yourself in the way of this happening for you.


Increase productivity with the pareto principle

title:Increase Productivity with the Pareto Principle

author:Brian Bartes

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_4575.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:19



Using the 80/20 Rule increases effectiveness and productivity. By noticing the applications of the 80/20 Rule, then acting on such observations, you will enhance the results you produce at work, and in your personal life.

Vilfredo Pareto (1848-1923) was an Italian economist who established what is now known as the Pareto Principle, or the 80/20 Rule. In 1906, Pareto observed that 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of the population. Later, he discovered that the Pareto Principle was valid in other parts of his life. While gardening, for example, Pareto observed that 80% of the peas in his garden were produced by 20% of the peapods.

The exact values of 80% and 20% are not important. What is important is to understand is the imbalance. In any situation, there are usually a few factors whose influence far surpasses the importance of the other factors. The effect of this imbalance is that a substantial percent of the results of a given process or system can be attributed to a much smaller percentage of all the possible causes.

So how does this statistical principle apply to us? The Pareto Principle is present in many aspect of our lives, both personally, and in the workplace. By becoming more aware of its presence, we can use the 80/20 Rule as an analytical tool to increase effectiveness and productivity.

Here are a few ways to practically apply the 80/20 Rule in your business:

Business profitability.

According to the Pareto Principle, 80% of a company’s profits are generated by 20% of its customers. By identifying and ranking customers in order of profitability, you can then focus your sales efforts on these vital few customers.


About 80% of a company’s revenue will be generated by the top 20% of its salespeople. This information is quite helpful in determining compensation, and also in determining the focus of sales management.


Approximately 80% of the results of an ad campaign will be produced by 20% of the advertising. By focusing on the effectiveness of ads, a great deal of advertising could be eliminated, and those funds committed to the advertising that is producing the desired results.

The 80/20 Rule can be applied to your personal life, as well:

Personal Productivity.

80% of your time is currently spent on trivial activities. What are the 20% of your activities that are producing 80% of your results? Focus only on these activities, and either discontinue or delegate all other activities.


What are the 20% of your activities that provide 80% of your pleasure? Whatever your answer, strive to increase the frequency of these activities.


What activities create the most desired results in your relationships? Once you identify these activities, shift your focus so that you are concentrating on these vital few activities.


80% of your health is produced by 20% of the foods you’re eating. Try to consume more vegetables, for example, and less fats and sugars.

The 80/20 Rule can be applied to many areas of your life. What other examples of the Pareto Principle are showing up for you? By noticing the applications of this principle, then acting on such observations, you will enhance the results you produce at work, and in your personal life.

Thank god it s 2006

title:Thank God It's 2006!

author:Dr. Rita Louise

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_4316.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:19



Happy New Year and Thank God it’s 2006!

Energetically speaking, there was a huge shift in the energy on the planet in the end of October 2004; a shift that put all of us through our paces.

I’ve had clients who became very ill during the past year or had a close friend or family member suffer from some kind of intense health crisis. I’ve had clients who have lost their jobs, filed for bankruptcy, closed their businesses after years and years of service, while others lost everything they owned. I don’t know anyone who wasn’t touched by the passing of someone they knew, loved and respected – a number that seemed greater this past year than in any period before it.

And that was just in our personal lives. We watched as the tsunami hit south east Asia, killing thousands. Then there were hurricanes Katrina and Rita; and before we could even catch our breath, a huge earthquake hit the mountainous areas of India. Each of these events devastated the lives and livelihoods of thousands, if not millions, of innocent people.

As the year progressed, I could see clear patterns of our emotional wellbeing emerging, one after another, some good, some not so good. The movement of our consciousness went something like this.

Not much after the year began, as “things” started to happen in our lives, our anxiety rose. Soon after, feelings of hopelessness and the feeling of being beaten down started to emerge. As the days and months went by, we tried very hard to open ourselves up to a new beginning, forgiving ourselves and those around us, personally, professionally and spiritually. As each crisis emerged, we did the best we could and tried to move on. And while we tried with all of our effort and zeal to have peace and harmony in our lives, our success was limited. In fact, I found that the more we tried and the less things seemed to change, the more resentful and frustrated we became about the whole darn thing. And from our pit of darkness and despair, we sat and waited, feeling powerless to do or change anything.

I must say that historically speaking, I’m pretty good at looking at and identifying when shifts are going to occur on the planet; and thankfully, there was a shift. Somehow it got by me and I didn’t even notice. It’s probably because I too was sitting in the muck and the mire of the planet’s energy and was unable to see past what was right in front of me.

So let’s talk about this change. Even though 2006 has just started, I have noticed a new surprising quality in people’s attitudes. It’s interesting, because the planet is still trying to vibrate at the energy of fear and effort, but its effects are having much less of a hold on people. It is as if we have gotten to the point were we have exhausted all our options, and are willing to do whatever we have to do - whatever the cost and whatever the risk.

Let me give you an example. A few years ago when I still had a day job, I got up to go to work. Running a bit late as usual, I decided to pick up my dog by her hind quarters and dangle her around. Well, I guess she really needed to pee because, before I knew it, there as a stream of golden showers covering my hands and clothes.

Now running really late, I jumped back in the shower to clean up, got redressed and ran out the door. I have to tell you that by that time, my level of stress and anxiety was running on an all time high. Speeding to my car, I threw my purse into the car, hoping it would land in the passenger’s seat. As it flew through the air, it caught on the rear view mirror and ripped it right off the windshield.

I think I started to laugh at that point in time. I do remember wondering what else could possibly happen to me that day. I knew whatever it was or possibly could be I wouldn’t be affected by it at all. The sky could have fallen down around me and I don’t think I would have given it a second thought.

In that moment, I found that I had let go of all my fears, all my worries, and all my anxiety. It was like I had transcended my own ego and nothing in the world could bother me again.

I’m sharing this story with you today because this is the energy we are in right now. The line that always comes to my mind when I think about this shift is - we have already been through hell, so what could possibly happen that could make things any worse.

Surprisingly, or should I say thankfully, this shift in energy has the added benefit of opening the door to new futures, new hopes and the manifestation of our hopes and dreams. Instead of fighting, struggling and living in effort, we are open to allowing things to happen as they choose to, in their own time and in their own way. I think last year we were all set and adamant on making things happen in a certain way. Now we are content to have anything happen, good, bad or indifferent.

This energy really and truly is freeing. When I think about the feeling of it, in the back of my mind, I can hear Janice Joplin singing “Freedom’s just another word for nothing else to lose” and the reality is, we have come to a place within ourselves where we recognize we don’t have anything else to lose, but instead a whole lot we can gain.

Also, with this shift, I have noticed that we are also more willing to take risks and willing to do what needs to be done. It is taking us from a place of fear into a place of power and empowerment and with it, we are gaining strength.

Where we will be going and heading as 2006 continues to unfold, I can’t tell you, but I do know this... Take the time, use this time to take a deep breath and let go of all of the hurts, anxieties, frustrations, stress and resentments you experienced last year. Instead, use them to give you strength as you face any new obstacles or challenges in this New Year.

Spend a moment and think about what you want and the direction you would like your life to take you in the future. Be open to receiving it in whatever way, shape or form it may choose to come to you. And most of all, express gratitude for all that you do receive, no matter how big or how small.

© Copyright Body, Mind & SoulHealer 2006. All rights reserved.

The secret to constant improvement

title:The Secret To Constant Improvement

author:Meredith Keeney

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_3352.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:19



Do you want your life to be getting better and better? I know, I know, that’s a silly question. I know I want my life to be steadily improving, and I suspect just about everyone else does too. What a lot of people don’t know, is that there is a very simple technique which makes that easy. The method is so easy to use and straightforward that this article will be rather short. It’s just that simple.

I was reminded of this technique when I saw it show up as one of the steps in Mark Joyner’s Simpleology program. That is just the latest incarnation, as it has been used by focused and successful people through history from great religious men to presidents.

It is the continual process of self-review. I know you were expecting some fancy name with a trademark and what I gave you sounded really boring, but hear me out.

What you do is to regularly (generally at the end of each day) think back over your day and write down the things you did wrong and what you can do in the future to keep from making the same mistakes. In the Simpleology program this is used to help analyze places where you are wasting time or reducing your energy, but the technique can be applied to anything.

Religious: I have read of great religious men of the past asking themselves each night how they could have been purer. If they had allowed some base thought in their minds, they would work to keep it from happening again.

Health: What better choices could you have made in what you ate, how you exercised, or the activities you engaged in?

Financial: Did you spend money you shouldn’t and how could you have used it better? What decisions could you have made to put yourself in a better financial position?

Social: Did you say something you wish you hadn’t? Made some unwelcome joke or discouraging comment? Did you not say something you should have?

You get the picture. This technique is adaptable to any area of behavior you are focused on. Not only that, but you don’t have to use it for some specialty. If you have a clear picture of the person you want to become, merely ask yourself what decisions you made that day that don’t draw you towards being that person. Figure out how you can avoid making that same mistake or a similar one in the future.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! Don’t forget to use this technique the other direction to help you reinforce positive behaviors. Whatever your goal is, ask yourself if you did anything that took you towards it, and figure out how to repeat that success.

I know, I know this all sounds so simple and self-obvious, but think of all the people you know who make the same mistakes over and over again. How many people do you know who seem to be on an endlessly repeating cycle of bad finances, bad relationships, bad morals, or whatever other area they struggle in? How many times have you wished that they could just see the same couple mistakes they make over and over again and fix them?

All of us can benefit from this little technique, even if our poor choices aren’t major ones. In fact it is especially helpful because the little decisions which keep us from improving are not obvious so we don’t automatically work on them, and the decisions which take us forward may not have caught our attention so we don’t repeat them.

The best part about this little technique is that it isn’t like those major goal setting sessions where you organize your life and try to change the entire course of your future in a single four hour euphoria-high session. That kind of overhaul can have it’s purposes, but your enthusiastic plans and goals are normally forgotten within days, until desperation drives you to do it again (i. e. New Year’s resolutions). No, this is a little habit that takes maybe five minutes an evening and keeps you on a steady even keel of continual improvement.

Try it for a month or so. If you aren’t used to keeping a journal, it might feel weird, but just do it for a few minutes each night and then review your entries every month or so. You will find your negative behaviors steadily decreasing and your positive ones increasing, and you will get your wish of a life that gets better and better each day.

Prescription optimism

title:Prescription Optimism

author:Lynn Colwell

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_1922.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



A client explained that she’s stuck in a writing rut because she’s on constant overwhelm. In other areas of life, she explained, she’s organized and orderly. But when it comes to writing, it’s as if she’s possessed. She’s inundated with ideas. Where to start? When she opens Writer’s Market seeking to be inspired, boy is she! She comes up with a great story perfect for a particular magazine, then spends hours ferreting out dozens of other publications where the piece might fly. If she does attempt to write, article ideas buzz around in her head like a hive full of furious bees. She sits before the computer in a confused haze, dizzy with too much of a good thing.

Her real problem, she realized during a coaching call with me, is not that she has so many ideas. The problem is that she is paralyzed by fear. She’s afraid of making the wrong choice.

“What,” I ask her, “would making the wrong choice mean?”

After a moment of quiet, the words tumble out almost as quickly as her thoughts fly. “If I chose to write about something, and I submitted it and the editor turned it down, it would confirm for me that I’m a lousy writer.” Then a light went off. “So if I never pursue an idea, I can’t fail. And if I don’t fail, I can continue to live with that little part of me that thinks that maybe, just maybe, I can write.”

Her plight reminded me of a friend who, when I asked how her nine-year-old daughter was doing in school, burst into tears and sobbed, “I don’t want to be a grandmother.” Not being the fastest car on the track, I had no idea what she was talking about. She proceeded to tell me that her daughter had been sent to the principal’s office for passing a note inviting a boy to plant a kiss on her cheek. From this my friend’s thinking had careened forward like this: Oh my gosh, she’s already wanting to kiss a boy. Next thing you know she’ll be secretly dating a 19-year-old punk and by the time she’s 14, I’ll be a grandmother!”

These two people did what many of us do. They predicted the future based on their worst fears rather than on their most fervent hopes. Their minds immediately leapt to an appalling scenario rather than to a more optimistic possibility.

My client tells me that she does this out of fear of failure. Another, more insidious reason, is that culturally, we are taught that optimism is at the very least unsophisticated and at worst, can lead us where we don’t want to go. After all, if we believe we will win and then we lose, we will be disappointed, upset, sad. (Even worse, others may witness our failures.) To avoid the momentary pain these feelings may bring, we dismiss optimism as childish.

Yet what else keeps a writer writing when he has been rejected hundreds of times? What other way is there than to believe utterly and completely in what you are doing? If you give up the first time your work is rejected, one thing is for certain: You will never succeed.

If you recognize yourself in the examples above, know that there is hope. You can change. Here are five ways to get started:

Identify your negative thinking pattern. Uncover the reason you believe you are having a particular problem such as being stuck with your writing. Then attack it. Don’t just accept the idea that you were born negative and nothing will ever change that.

Recognize that you always have a choice in how you think about something. So instead of accepting that you will fail, tell yourself that you just might succeed. Write down what succeeding would feel like.

Remind yourself that you will never succeed if you don’t try. Embrace the possibility of success. Know that it’s a wonderful feeling to believe in yourself even when no one else does.

Do whatever you need to do to build your confidence. This might involve taking writing classes, reading books, asking (and/or paying) published writers to read your work.

Create accountability. Craft an intention for yourself, then share it with someone you trust. For instance, if you, like my client, have too many ideas, tell a friend that you will select one idea by the end of the week. Once the idea is selected, tell the friend that you will write the article the following week and finish it by Friday. If you do this a few times, the grip of overwhelm should begin to loosen.

If you’re a confirmed pessimist, you might want to look at the book, Learned Optimism, by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph. D., to discover more ways to turn your head around.

Just imagine what your life might be like if you believed that the best was possible, unfettered by the mindset that the worst is inevitable.

The new years resolution - it s that time again

I have a small poster on my wall, it reads...“What's the point in having dreams..... if you're not going to make them happen?”

Many of us have ambitions and dreams that we never seem to act upon, there’s always something that gets in the way of making a start. So here you are again, seeing out the old year, along with its broken promises and failed, good intentions. Fresh with newly found conviction, you arrive at the New Year’s resolution, an annual triumph of hope over reality! Hope, that this time you will have the single mindedness to succeed, where last time you failed. So what’s going to make the difference this time?

The way we think, stops us from realizing our dreams. How many people want to change their lives and believe that they can’t because of responsibilities? lack of confidence? low self esteem, or simply that they fear change itself?

How we think and feel about ourselves is often the difference between happiness and success, or frustration and failure, therefore success and real lasting change only comes from changing the way we think. We are all products of our own thinking.

So, every thought we think has an impact on us. We respond to our negative thoughts and to our positive thoughts. If you have a history of failing to live up to your own expectations, your memories are loaded with negative programming, sabotaging your chance of success even before you start.

You may dream of winning the lottery as the means of realizing your ambitions and yes, you could win! But it’s down to chance and you have a better chance of flying to the moon, than of winning the lottery. Pinning your hopes and dreams to chance alone is admitting that you have no control over your future, but it doesn’t have to be that way at all.

Making a real change to your life? Well that’s a dream you can, make happen! And you can start right here, right now.

You don’t have to put up with being unfulfilled at work or in a relationship or with the direction that your life is taking. The very fact that you recognise this in yourself is a clear indicator that you have the capability to embrace change and realise your true potential, even if you can’t see how you will be able to achieve you r goals.

Help is there for those who need it. You can change the way you think about yourself and your situation using hypnotherapy DVD’s.

Many people struggle to maintain willpower. They feel that they need help and are often too embarrassed to admit to anyone that they have a problem. Now, many sufferers of low motivation and low confidence and self-esteem, are benefiting from hypnotherapy treatment, which can literally change peoples lives for the better.

Your life will improve if you begin to believe in yourself and your abilities, you will feel respected, giving you that extra boost to increase motivation, and your enthusiasm will increase noticeably. Some people say it feels like magic because it is so easy to make powerful, lasting changes. Hypnotherapy simply allows you to access the resources you already have in your subconscious mind.

Life is just about enjoying the moment, believing in yourself and your dreams.

Desire to make changes is good. Taking action to start something is even better. Let’s assume that you’ve decided right now, to start making the changes in your life that you really want. If you have tried before and failed, you need a support structure put into place as quickly as possible, to help you to maintain your resolve and to keep your thought processes focused on your goals. A hypnotherapy DVD programme for home use can help you succeed.

Life only comes once, it's quite short and you have to appreciate what's good in it. So try to get the most out of everything you do and begin to enjoy the ride!

You’re starting the latest phase of your journey, and the future hasn't been written yet. Make next year, the year you make the dream happen.

I have another little poster on the wall, it reads... I like cats .... they taste like chicken!!

So far, I have failed to find any deeper meaning to this!

One thing you must know now

title:One Thing You Must Know.... Now

author:Neil Millar

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_1651.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



The last day of October isn’t a day that most of us would choose to visit a beach in the UK, but stranger than the time of year is the group of minds that met that afternoon. Stranger still is the subject they discussed.

Imagine it: a golden sandy beach, littered with seaweed, bottle tops and bird feathers; a place that had been battered by gale-force winds in the preceding days. And with the setting sun, the needles of the Isle of Wright in the distance, the leading personal development coach, an expert hypnotherapist and an acclaimed author began exchanging views with a passion on an issue that hurts millions of peoples’ lives and is quite probably hurting yours.

Let me tell you more.

The author laughed and then announced that he had worked on a visualization and an affirmation a while back. That visualization had him standing on a beach, in Christchurch, Bournemouth, in November having just agreed the undertaking for a new house. His affirmation backed up his coming success and he had four good reasons for his laughter:

First, he laughed because only the day before he had agreed to undertake a new property.

Second, he laughed because he realised that he had arrived on the beach five days earlier than expected.

Third, he laughed because the property was not in fact in Bournemouth – as he’d thought it might be - but eighty miles west, and

Fourth, and most worryingly, he laughed because neither his visualization nor his affirmation stated where the house would be! And this is when the conversation on bringing what you want into your life ensued, and this is where you can find the answers to what might be hurting your life.

The author said he’d been researching ways spiritual teachers claim to have brought things into their life more quickly and mentioned he’d discovered that making this happen was all about closing the gap between “willing” something to happen and “experiencing” it in your world.

And here the leading coach threw the expert hypnotherapist a challenge that clients had thrown at her in the past. “When a person affirms something such as...” she said, pointing out into the harbour, “I have a yacht” the mind immediately contradicts the affirmation and says, “but you don’t”. The hypnotherapists reply made a lot of sense.

He said, ‘The sub-conscious mind doesn’t understand reality. If you tell it you have something then it believes you already have it and will behave accordingly – it closes the gap.’

This made good sense to the coach. It’s the power of suggestion at work. Like when someone says they are hungry and ten seconds later your stomach rumbles. But she challenged the hypnotherapist some more. ‘But I still know I don’t have a yacht?’ she said.

‘No, but if you keep saying you have then the mind will play catch up and start finding ways to correct the dissonance between not having and having.”

The author said, ‘I guess this is where standing up and saying affirmations out loud becomes powerful. Because word puts out a stronger pulse of energy than thought and therefore makes you move forwards.’

“Yes,” the hynotherapist agreed. “People make negative affirmations all day long. They say “I have no money. I feel tired or depressed or ill and scared of spiders”. They say “I don’t have the confidence to ask someone out on a date, go for promotion at work” or “I need to sit down and have a cigarette”. And all of this is just affirmation – but negative affirming, instead of the positive. That’s why hypnotherapy is powerful. It corrects problematic thought patterns and replaces it with something positive.’

What really stood out for the coach in this conversation was this: people are making negative affirmations all day long and that creates a problematic thought pattern and destroys any hopes of getting the things they desire.

It is really important here to make clear how powerful affirmations are. It is all very well, using my example of saying, ‘I have a yacht’, but when the negative kicks in, ‘but I don’t’, we have to catch it and not allow it to manifest and we also have to kick out that negative talk, “I have no money, I’m tired - ’ because all this creates is more lack of money and more tiredness.

What can you do?

1. Write yourself an affirmation for something that you would like to bring into your life. When you say it out loud notice what self-talk occurs immediately afterwards. Is it positive or negative?

2. If you have any negative talk after an affirmation, practice catching yourself and then immediately make that positive.

Your work and your stress

title:Your Work and Your Stress

author:Catherine Pulsifer

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_1635.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



We all want less stress in our lives. Do you think today's workplace is to stressful?

I know at times it may be difficult to accept, but, you and only you can control your stress.

Stress is not only created by how we see a situation, but also how we react to it. We do, in fact, control our own stress. So, if you are feeling "stressed out", you are responsible for creating that feeling.

I am not saying there are no situations which are stressful. What I am saying, however, is that how you choose to react to those situations will determine your own stress levels. These reactions will affect how you behave, how you communicate with those around you, and how you respond to your customers and clients.

When I start to feel stress, I ask myself a question: "how much will this matter in five years?" In the majority of cases, it doesn't matter. It is amazing, how this one, simple question can change your thought processes, and lower your stress levels resulting in less stress.

Another technique I use when my job seems overwhelming is to keep it all in perspective by saying to myself: "My job is important but it only forms part of my life - it is not my entire life." So, by thinking this way, I am altering my thoughts from one where my job controls and rules my entire life to one where I realize my job forms only a part of my life's equation.

So the next time you feel your job is causing you stress, ask yourself how am I reacting? You may find that it is not your job creating the stress but you are creating the stress.

We all need some stress in our lives, but less stress is better than more stress!

I need your help and or input

title:I Need Your Help and/or Input!

author:Rebecca Hunter

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_1784.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



I am a 24 year old mother of two wonderful children. I have a 3 year old son named Christopher Gabriel and a beautiful daughter named Alyssa Ann. I became a mother quit young in my life and had to substitute a lot of my wants and needs for the wants and needs of my children. As I sit and watch my children grow up I want them to have all the experiences I had as a child plus so much more.

So I thought about opening my own business. I thought to myself, I would be able to provide for my children the way that they needed as they grew up. I started to work at the young age of 12 just so that I could pay for my dance classes. There were way too many kids in our family for my mom and dad to pay. So for me I would like to have that option open for my children. I want to be able to give my children all the experience they want and need. I have been in dance my whole life. Ballet, Modern, Hip Hop, Dance Companies that I took in and out of High School. So in the back of my mind I always dreamed of opening my own dance studio. Well about two years ago I started to write a business plan. Then I look at all of the studios I have been apart of and I thought to my self I would never want to compete against these people they are my teachers, my friends and some my family. So Why not open a studio where they can all come and compete in front of a live audience. But why stop at dancers? We want dancers, singers, comedians, magicians, models and anyone else that has a talent they want to share. So it took me two years to write a business plan for Curtain Call, a Performing Arts Dinner Theater.

I thought if I come up with a business plan that blows people away I will have no problem opening my business. Well I was wrong. I have tried every SBA Loan possible. Now what they don’t tell you about SBA loans is that you have to have a dollars worth of collateral to back up your loan. Well if I had that I really wouldn’t need an SBA loan now would I . I am in the process of writing a grant. Which if you have any idea is not an easy process.

So the reason behind this article is to see if anyone one out there has any input what so ever one what my next step should be. I would love to hear from anyone and everyone just to know what you think about my idea. If you would like to come and perform at this theater let me know! If you want to be in the audience and you love my ideas let me know! If you want to learn more I can e-mail you more info or you can check out my website.

Thank you for the time you spent to read my article and I hope in some way we can both benefit from this.

Summer observations about rest and guidance

title:Summer Observations About Rest and Guidance

author:Jennifer Louden

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_3038.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



I had tea with my dear friend Billy on Friday. She had just returned from two weeks in a small town in Mexico, where her daughter surfed and she rested. It was the first time in a very long time that Billy allowed herself a deep rest. She was telling me how depressed she had been since coming home because she couldn't understand why her life at home felt so different than her life in Mexico. "I want to bring that feeling home, I don't want to lose it," she said.

I remarked, "You can certainly look at what you are doing at home that no longer serves you. You can jettison what drains your energy. Being away offers us perspective to see what isn't working. But I also believe you experienced a true retreat, the deep replenishment of rest, and it is the rare person who gets enough of that. You can't bring that home, but you can grasp the need to give it to yourself in the future –- and not every ten years but every month, every season, every year."

When we do get to rest, we become ravenous for more. We start to think about how to change our lives to get more –- Billy was plotting to buy a house in Mexico. But while some change at home can be vital I think the real message is: we need retreats, we need deep rest and we just don't give ourselves permission to get it. We allow ourselves some, yes, but with conditions. Perhaps shorter than we really need or with people along that don't really allow us to rest or by going to places that don't replenish us.



My daughter and I visited Yellowstone National Park last month on our way back from a week of horseback riding in the Windriver country of Wyoming. By the end of our Yellowstone day, we were exhausted from the heat and the sheer overwhelming force of the land and we were also sad. Over dinner we talked about how we had overheard one man remark, "I'm not stopping to see that moose. We've already seen one moose. I'm only stopping for a bear." Yellowstone majesty and mystery felt like something to check off his list of been there, done that. I didn't feel sad because of him though, I felt sad because I had felt traces of that the same feeling in myself during our day. “Let's ring the most we can from this day, let's consume Yellowstone! Let's not leave until we have seen every animal on the park service's map -- let's eat everything on the menu.”

I had to keep reminding myself to follow Lilly's lead, to linger, to poke, to explore, to get away from the crowds and off down a shady trail, and to know we could spend the next ten years walking and looking and never know this place -- bison may walk down the middle of the highway and yet they will always remain an untouchable mystery.

As Lilly and I strolled around the geysers in the twilight, I mused about why people are often so irritable and frayed when they travel. Sure we are tired and hot and out of our comfort zone. But could it be that we know what we yearn for, what we pine for, and we aren't getting it? A yearning for deep soul rest and deep soul connection with those we love, and yet what we often end up with is more busyness and more distraction, snared by habits of consumption to move farther away from the mystery of our heart's desire.



God is making it abundantly clear to me lately that the only way I can live, let alone move forward with my projects, is to rest, listen and trust spiritual guidance, MOMENT BY MOMENT -- not just for the big decisions. I must, as Christina Baldwin says in her book The Seven Whispers, "Move at the pace of guidance."

What my guidance is telling me, that even after taking a month off, I need more rest. That as much as I am chomping at the bit to get going, I have to move at the pace that feels right and that pace, in this moment, involves more rest. Guidance is also telling me that the black and white world of extremes I love to inhabit -- that I either lay perfectly still for three months in a 19th century sanatorium OR work 10 hours a day -- is faulty. I can move forward AND rest but only by listening.

An example of what that looks like today: I went to sleep last night with fantasies of all I would get done today. Up at 6, writing on the novel, exercise, clean the study/guest room, finish notes on a friend's novel, edit this newsletter, sign books for the store sale, visit with parents, weed, do something fun with Chris and Lilly, maybe go see Winged Migration with Lil tonight. I wake up this morning and already the to-do list train has left the station, and my soul is the caboose. My jaw is tight before I'm even finished washing my face.

This is not moving at the pace of guidance.

Catching myself during my morning meditation, stopping, relaxing my tense body, loving myself, accepting that I am doing it again, and then asking, "What do I most need to do right now?" is moving at the pace of guidance. The fact that I have to do this four times before noon is also moving at the pace of guidance. Or as C. S. Lewis writes in Mere Christianity, "It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other, larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind."

I am at the end of a long, long learning cycle; a cycle in which the lesson has been to listen and act on what I hear, with no guarantees. I have thought in the past that if I listen, I must do it perfectly and then the results would be perfect. What a horrible burden and a load of crap. If there is evil in the world, it takes the form of perfectionism. Sometimes I'm listening to Divine Guidance and sometimes I'm listening to my wily, tricky ego, and sometimes I'm listening to my morass of sticky neuroses. How can I really know unless I listen and see what happens? In the past, I bounced between the twin poles of "But listening hasn't been 100% reliable" and "But I can't listen now, I have too much to do/have to make money/people need this done now." What I'm sensing -- and I could be wrong, remember there are no guarantees -- is that if I disregard what I hear these days, I will grind to a halt faster and suffer more, than ever before. It's like the spiral on this learning has grown very small and I get almost instant feedback if I push the river, if I insist on my agenda, if I stay invested in my way.

I wish I could say this is all exciting and spiritually satisfying but mainly, at least today, it feels scary, far too slow and tedious.

Sigh. (But with a smile.)

Developing an opportunity mindset

title:Developing an Opportunity Mindset

author:Kevin Purfield

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_773.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



Starting a home based business is a fantastic way to earn additional income part time or full You can build a six figure or higher cash machine using you home computer and a few hours of your spare time each week. It is estimated that each day nearly 200,000 new people log on to the Internet for the first time. Many of these people looking for a home based business.

Many of these people will go on to create a full time income equal to or exceeding their current income from their jobs. You need very little capitol to start a home businesses and you can work the hours that are best for you.

Developing an opportunity mindset is key to your business success. Your business is success is largely determined by your thoughts. If you believe that you can be successful in your business you will. Henry Ford once said “ if you believe you can or you can’t your probably right.”

Self-motivation and keeping an optimistic perspective is vitally important. You must possess the desire to succeed and take action everyday regardless of what obstacles you encounter along the way.

Your level of success depends on the time and effort you are willing to put into your business. To reap the greatest return on the time you invest you must keep a positive outlook and maintain the belief that you will eventually succeed.

The author Norman Vincent Peale once said, “We tend to get what we expect.” Are your expectations for your business ones of abundance fruitful reward for work well done?

Everyday you must plant mental seeds of prosperity into you mind and nurture them. We become what we think, therefore develop the thoughts that will create the life you want to live. The key difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful person is their habits.

Develop the habit of being a power of intelligence and positive expectancy in your business and interactions with others. Cultivate patience and practice the work habits that will get you the results you desire.

The mind is goal-seeking mechanism. Set large goals for yourself and others and work daily on achieving them. The purpose of setting goals is for you to decide exactly what it is that you want. You must clear understand where you want to go before you can expect to set on the journey and arrive there.

The philosopher Aristotle wrote that all behavior is “teleological” or purposeful - aimed at a goal. The one factor that governs each of your actions is your desire that you would be better off than you would be in the absence of your actions.

Stay positive and focused on your home business continually reminding yourself of your purpose. What ever we focus on becomes our reality. Continually focus on where you want to be and that is the direction you will go.

Kevin Purfield owns the Wealth System Online Resource Directory where you can find everything you'll ever need to start, run and grow a home based business at: http://www. wealthsystemonline. com/pluginprofits. htm

Nature of the human mind

title:Nature Of the Human Mind

author:Aziz Meknassi

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_4520.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:19



On Earth, man occupies a peculiar position that sets him apart

from all other entities in our planet. While all the other

things – animate or inanimate, living or non-living – behave

according to regular patterns to balance nature, man seems to

enjoy – within definite limits – a small amount of freedom. Man

controls his way of living, speaks his own language, perceives

and learns great amount of knowledge, manages his emotions, and

deals properly with problems he faces. All of which is unique to

man only. There is, in fact, within the infinite expanse of the

universe a small field in which man's conscious conduct can

change the course of events.

It is this fact that causes man to distinguish between an

external world subject to unstoppable and endless necessity, and

his human faculty of thinking, cognising, and acting. In

Philosophy, mind or reason is contrasted with matter, something

that is extended in space and persists through time. Fully aware

of the fact that his own body is subject to the same forces that

determine all other things and beings, man attributes his

ability to think, to will and to act to an invisible and

intangible, yet powerful, factor he calls his mind.

The mind, including the processes it carries out such as

thinking, learning, memorizing, remembering, and the likes, is

one characteristic that distinguishes man from any other being

in the world. The nature of the human mind is like that of a

mirror; having different functions and features: (a) open and

vast, (b) reflects in full and precise details, (c) unbiased

towards any impression, (d) distinguishes clearly, and (e)

potential for having everything already accomplished.

Open and Vast

Martin H. Fischer (1879-1962), a German-born U. S. physician and

author, quoted “All the world is a laboratory to the inquiring

mind.” Isn’t it ironic how small the human brain where mind

processes undergo is, and yet it encloses matters in as huge as

the universe? That’s how open and vast the mind can be. It can

consist of things as trivial as the number of moles you have in

your body, or as essential as how many dosages of cough syrup

you need to take in when you are sick. It can create illusion or

reality, bring delight or sadness, trigger conflict or peace, and

generate love or hatred. And most importantly, it can make you,

by influencing you how to be the best of who you are, or break

you, by covering you with all the fears, embarrassment, and

shame you least need in going through everyday.

The exposure of the mind to practically ‘anything under the sun’

keeps it from hiding any secrets the world unfolds from us. But

again, all information that we can easily gather from outside is

not always being marked off by the society – which is good and

which is bad, which is right and which is wrong, or which is

divine and which is evil. Therefore, the mind, as an

all-encompassing system, accesses everything and yet restricts

us from nothing.

Indeed, we have to agree with Fischer that the world is just a

laboratory of the inquiring mind. A gigantic world of mind

exists to which we are almost totally unexposed. This whole

world is made by the mind. Our minds made this up and put these

things together. Every bolt and nut was put in by one after the

other’s mind. This whole world is mind’s world – the product of


Reflects in Full and Precise Details

In her outstanding book, Choose the Happiness Habit, Pam Golden

writes: "Take the story of two brothers who are twins. One

grows up to be an alcoholic bum. The other becomes an extremely

successful businessman. When the alcoholic is asked why he

became a drunk, he replies, ‘My father was a drunk.’ When the

successful businessman is asked why he became successful, he

says, ‘My father was a drunk.’ Same background.

Same upbringing. Different choices."

The brothers chose different thoughts regarding the identical

experience they’ve been in. One took the fact that their father

was a drunk as an example for him to imitate; thus, making him

one too. In contrast, the other brother thought the same idea as

something not to be mimicked, making him doing the opposite thing

until he became successful. Those thoughts over the years shaped

the circumstances where they are now. Whatever viewpoint they

had about the situation was reflected on how they are doing now.

In other words, whatever there is in our mind can be fully and

precisely reflected through our actions. It is due to the

process where thinking creates images in our mind. These images,

in turn, will control feelings like joy or sadness. Such feelings

will cause us to do actions on how we would deal with each one of

them. And lastly, these actions shall create results. Therefore,

the mind, particularly thinking, implies reflection and creation

of results. This is simplified through the very common clichй

“You are what you think of.”

Aziz Meknassi

Identify your two rich horses

title:Identify Your Two Rich Horses

author:Vinay Ghimiray

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_1189.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



The naked truth of person is that we are still slaves to our mind; means we are still a "bounded slaves" to our mind. The use of mind in constructive way or in some stepping-stone turning way is still not being revealed by human being. This is the only catalyst which leads to become the " the so called body and the body holder" famous and illustrious and it is the same catalyst which can lead to other floating vices right across us.

This is very true and very believable that human brain is actually a size of his/her right fist but the same hand can lead to actions like the actions taken by some famous politicians and the same hand can lead to charity or some misconduct.

How many of us ever tried to take control of our mind and thereafter the body? How many of us are very independent of all the commands to follow as given by our mind irrespective of its consequences?

The controlling of mind and body leads to some great results if applied correctly. Yes, we can feel and hear that there are two voices inside human being one of God-Angel and one of Satan. We can reach out to any voice, which is at our discretion. Believed that the first voice is the voice of God. The normal outburst and a clash between these two voice is at young age only where new definitions and terms are being embedded into ones mind and which due vary from persons to person. The basic outlook towards life and the career do makes its impression at this age only.

The Rat race to follow and the race to make money any how do comes to all the humans whereas; the whole point revolves around the way to make some money. Turn any biography and see that the zeal to make some thing in life or that fire to do something comes at the young age only. So this crucial stage of life cannot be neglected by humans-parents and guardians. As one of the famous writer has said " beware that you should be alert about what books you read" rather the same categorically goes for humans too that what clouds of thoughts and patters a young human gets from his surrounding, the moudling shape is thus designed in the mind.

It's very easy to comment and add a quoting line to the fallen pillar that the base of that pillar was not strong whereas; making that pillar stand erect firmly would make any body sweat from teeth.

To be continued….. Vinay Ghimiray

Lose your hope and you can bring down the curtain

title:Lose Your Hope And You Can Bring Down The Curtain!

author:Richard Vegas

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_235.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:17



The others in the raft didn't seem to share Eddie's state of mind. His companions clearly began to think about what lay beyond death; And, to think about it in terms of their own lives. Eddie said, "at no time did I ever lose hope that we would be saved." Instead, Eddie tried to impart something to his comrades that would help them and be of great value to them. What was it?

Hope! Perhaps you have read the story of Captain Eddie Rickenbacker and his crew when their plane fell into the Pacific. There were seven men in life rafts for twenty one days with nothing but water and sun for as far as the eye could see.

As Luck Would Have It!

Now, ask yourself this question. You know better than anyone else. How would you have reacted to being cooped up with seven of your best friends for twenty one days in a life raft in the middle of the Pacific?

Would you have been trying to ring someone's neck? Or, would you have been the pillar of hope for your friends?

What is hope anyway? Hope is that magical emotion which is unseen but, causes us to see the evidence of what we desire before we get it.

It's not really faith. Faith is like the furnace in your house. Hope is like the thermostat on the wall. Hope can be regulated up and down. The more you turn it up, the more fire it creates in your belly. The more fire you create in you, the more fear you expel.

The Dynamic Duo!

Hope is the expectation that you will get your desire, and faith is the belief that it is possible. These two are a force to be reckoned with. Together, they are more powerful than superman, the lone ranger, and trigger. You can change the course of your destiny with Hope and Faith.

You see, a person reacts consciously to anything, which to him or her is believable, desirable and attainable. He/She also reacts unconsciously to inner urges that cause you to get into action when suggestions are made to the subconscious.

You may react favorably, unfavorably, or neutral to some stimulus; It all depends on what the suggestions are. And, these suggestions have a direct impact on the hope of the individual.

The Fortunes Of War!

Have you ever had to hope, against all hope, that your desire was obtainable? Have you ever, just out of sheer will and determination, forced yourself to look on the bright side of life with all the circumstances telling you you're a bald faced liar? Yeah? What did you do? Blow your stack? Or, come up smelling like a rose?

Your hope is the root cause of whatever you got. Did you get your desire? You kept your hope. Did you not get what you desired? You lost your hope.

Now don't you get mad at me. I'm just the messenger. Yes, I admit, sometime we get things, at times, when we lose hope. It's almost as if the Universe says; "here bozo, splat, here's a little bone for you".

But, by and large, the desirable goals we obtain come when we don't lose hope. I don't want to go through life just getting a little "splat" now and then. I want to go through life breaking the bank. Yeah, hip hip.

If Wishes Were Horses, Then Beggars Would Ride!

Hope will motivate you. Hope will set a fire on the inside of you. There is nothing that you and your hope together can't accomplish. But, unfortunately, wishes are not hope. Wishes are just a milky toast, Casper the friendly ghost monkeyshine.

Don't even think of trying to obtain your deepest heart's desire with monkeyshine wishes. You just as well pay a whole band of gypsies to lay hands on their crystal ball and rub it till it's slicker than a wet noodle, because without hope, your goose is cooked.

For What It's Worth!

But, not to worry. Hope is available. It's as close as your breath. It's in you. You have it. Just turn the thermostat up. Hope is worth its weight in gold when used. Nothing great was ever accomplished without hope.

In A Nick Of Time!

Here's how you get it. Don't take this lightly. This is the most powerful method I have ever used for developing hope. Do this everyday for a week and you'll be armed to the teeth with hope.

Sit back, relax and close your eyes. Now, with your eyes closed, see the word "HOPE" in your minds eye, in all capital letters about twelve inches from your face, and then see those letters speed very fast into your brain. See them "blast" into your brain.

Let them enter through your eyes. Then, as they blast inside of you, see two big steel doors, one on each side of your Face slam shut and lock "HOPE" inside of you. Do it ten times everyday.

Entertain High Hopes!

Make sure the doors slam shut very quickly as soon as hope blasts inside you. This may sound trivial, but what you are actually doing is convincing your subconscious that you are full of hope. Say this everyday, "I AM FULL OF HOPE!"

And brother, when you get your sub-conscious convinced that you are full of hope, it'll hair-lip bear creek before it lets it out of there.

The problem is; we go through our lives everyday never giving our hope any thought or consideration. We never think; "I have hope", "I don't have hope". Be aware of your hope and feed it regularly just like I showed you.

You will be amazed at how much hope you begin to develop if you make it a practice to do this everyday. This is an extremely powerful method of filling your brain with brain food.

A Tower Of Strength!

When you feed your body the right diet, it responds with the desired goal. When you feed your brain with the right diet, it responds by giving you wonderful feelings of empowerment and hope.

Richard Vegas ©

How fears develop

There have been talks about fears and phobias, and how they affect life. Fear is really the misconception, the rejection, and the dread of life.

There are thousands of life definitions available around. Often, these meanings seek or require a happy, if not perfect, life in this world. We are urged to seek out a paradise or a niche of refuge where we can build our utopia or ideal world.

But what really is life? If we honestly study human drama in history, we would see that real life is the concoction of good and bad, sad and happy. How to be happy in all these circumstances is what you make out of your life. We all create our life meanings. We cannot just borrow others’ meanings or get one from a book. We discover real life through actual life encounters. How we end up after each ordeal gives us our real life.

Life is a concoction of both extremes. Real life entails going through these ordeals. When you reject this idea and look for other life meanings — the kind where you live happily ever after — fears start to develop. You begin to look for fairy tale stuffs in life and reject the ones you actually have. Fear comes in, rejecting what is real. People who live in war zones have a realistic idea of life: You live now; you may die the next moment. They see that life is temporary — which is the truth. Thus, they are prepared to die anytime. Fears are still intact, but considerably lessened.

People who reject the truth are afraid to look at scenes of death or tragedy. The more they reject them, the more the fear grows within them. Many books on fears tell their readers to avoid seeing violence. You ought not to look for violence and watch it, but you ought not to close your eyes to it when there is one right under your nose. Life will always show you both extremes.

Mother Theresa was a non-violent person. Yet, she watched injustice and violence everyday, right where she was. She didn’t feel fear for these daily scenes; instead she felt love and concern in the midst of it all. She knew and lived a real life. Jesus Christ and Mahatma Gandhi were for non-violence. Yet they found real meaning and real life as they were caught in the middle of chaos and turmoil. These excellent people lived the real life. They even conquered others’ fears.

The rejection of the real life is the start of real fears. Fearful and phobic people refuse reality and build their own fantasy world.

26 principals of life

title:26 Principals of Life

author:Jason Johns

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_2072.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



1. All Are Related: There is a Native American saying, which translates roughly to "All are Related". Everything in the universe is part of The Great Spirit, from a rock, to a plant, to a fish, to a human. The spirit flows between and within us all, and is the building block of everything. Since we are all part of the same whole, we should treat the rest of the whole as if it is part of us, i. e. with compassion and love. We are all part of the Great Spirit, just like all the different leaves on a tree are still part of the tree.

2. The Energy Flow: The universe is composed of energy. This energy flows between everything, us and within us all. When we have internal blocks, the energy fails to flow correctly, causing illness, lethargy and other symptoms. This energy can be directed consciously, we can see it, and feel it. How we feel affects our energy levels; negativity drains energy, positivity creates energy.

3. We Are Beings of Both Spirit and Flesh: We are spirits, but at the same time, we are creatures of the flesh. We inhabit both worlds simultaneously, even though we are often unaware of it. We should not shun the flesh for spirit or vice versa. Both are equally important. We have to walk with one foot in each of these worlds, and pay them both attention. Neglecting either world causes distress in the other.

4. No One Entity is Superior to Another: No one being or creature is any better or greater than another. We are all the same. We are all on different paths and have different levels of understanding, but that does not make any one of us better than another. Humans are not masters of nature, nor the animals and plants. They are our companions, and co-inhabitants of this planet. We are not superior to them, nor do we own them. We should treat them all with respect.

5. Belief Creates: How we perceive the universe is shaped by our beliefs. If we believe we are in a hurry, then everyone else appears to be going slow. Through belief and positive thought, we can create virtually anything. We should believe in our abilities and ourselves, and we will succeed. We can combine the power of belief with that of visualisation to bring anything into reality.

6. Intuition: Inside of us, a voice speaks and guides us. It is our intuition. We can choose to ignore it or to listen to it. Once we are in tune with our intuition and start to listen to it, we will be guided and will find that we can achieve more than we thought possible. We will begin to realise that the Great Spirit works through us - often in mysterious ways, but always to our benefit - in the long term.

7. The Higher Purpose: Everything that happens is for a reason and for the greater good. We have to learn to look at events in our lives from more than just the normal human perspective. We must see them from the perspective of the Great Spirit and to look at what good will come from these events. This is the old maxim of "is the glass half full or half empty". We can look at events badly, half empty, and our reaction will be worse. However, should we look at events better, i. e. half full, then we are more positive, which means our energy is higher, and our reaction will be better.

8. There are No Ordinary Moments: The past only exists in our memory. The future only exists as our expectation. The only time that really exists is NOW. It is a precious moment and we should treat every single moment as special and live it to the full. By being in the present, we have presence. To live in the now the conscious mind should be quiet and you must focus totally on what you are doing, not what you are going to be doing next week, or what you are going to have for lunch.

9. There are No Limits: The only limits we have are those we place upon ourselves, or others place upon us. To this end, we should avoid being put in a pigeonhole and labelled by others. If someone views a dog as being vicious, then it is more likely to be vicious. We should hold no expectations of others, and let them be themselves, just as we should be ourselves.

10. Action not Reaction: If we are tickled, our reaction is to laugh. We should be at a state where we do not react in a situation, but act. Reaction is unconscious, whereas Action is conscious. We should not let past influences affect our actions, e. g. if we were once bitten by a dog, when we next meet a dog, we should not let the past bite affect how we act towards it. There are times to act, as well as times to be still. By living in the present and having control of the conscious mind, we can better direct our action.

11. Positivity Rules: Negative thoughts attract negative events and drain our energy. Positive thoughts attract positive events and increase our energy. To this end, we should look at our thoughts and the events which happen to us in a positive light, realising negative thoughts for what they are and releasing them.

12. Posture, Pose & Breathing: Energy flows through the body, as it flows through all things. If the posture and pose are bad, the energy can not flow cleanly and causes blockages, which manifest as pain or illness. We breathe in energy from the world around us. Therefore, our breaths should be deep and full, coming from the bottom of the belly, and not the chest. This enables us to maximise our energy. Deep breathing helps relax us. When we are stressed, angry or afraid our breathing changes and becomes shallow and faster. By consciously controlling our breathing and keeping it deep and even, we can release the stress, anger or fear, enabling us to act consciously in the situation.

13. Everything in Balance: The universe exists in a state of balance, as should we. We can do anything we wish, but should always do it to moderation, never to excess. Should we do things to excess, then they can become addictive, which drains energy and may become negative. Being balanced allows us to act better in situations. If we are sat on the fence, so to speak, we can jump off either way should we desire to.

14. Intent is Action: You can intend to do anything, and your intent is important. However, unless the intent is followed with action, then the intent is nothing. As an example. I may intend to get fit, but spend all my time sat in front of the TV eating pizza and drinking cola. I have my intention, but my actions do not confirm or create the intention. Therefore, if you intend something, do it, don't just talk about it. Action turns knowledge into wisdom.

15. Freedom of Choice: We all have free will, and can choose to do anything we wish. There is no situation where we do not have choice. It may appear that we do not, but there are always options, if we have the courage and strength to take them. We just have to have the courage of conviction to make the decisions.

16. Change Happens: Change is continuous and is always happening around us. We can not actually perceive change, but can see the end result of it. Change is not a bad thing nor is it to be feared. Through change we can grow and go forwards.

17. Taking Responsibility: Our actions cause a reaction - it is a law of nature. We have to be aware of our actions and take responsibility for them and for the consequences of them. It is no good doing something and then saying you did not mean to do it. Had you not meant to do it, you would not have done it. By taking responsibility for our actions, so we can take back our power and freedom to choose. We have to accept that no one will live for us, and that sometimes our actions will cause others, or ourselves, a measure of discomfort. Remember though, that discomfort is one way of helping us grow and to show us where changes need to be made.

18. One Step at a Time: To get to any goal, break it down into a number of small steps. If you have many small successes, then this will lead to a big success. If you aim for a big success straight off, you may fail. Remember that a journey towards any destination starts with a single step, and then a second and a third, and as many as required until you reach that destination. Remember to reward and praise yourself for your successes, however small they are. By acknowledging them, you increase your power and will to succeed, strengthening your belief in yourself.

19. Judgement: We have no right to judge another for their words, thoughts or deeds. They have the freedom of choice to do as they please and act as they wish, just as we do. We are in no position to judge anyone, as we are imperfect ourselves. It is easily done, for example, you see a big man with tattoo's, a skinhead and wearing leather, and the automatic assumption is that he is trouble. He may be a florist for all we know. This colours our judgement of people and changes how we act towards them. By having no preconceptions of other people, we can interact better with them, and perhaps make a new friend.

20. Integrity: Integrity is all about how we act when no one is looking. We must live to our own standards and should not judge others by them. This is about living in line with our highest vision despite urges to the contrary.

21. Air Your Doubts: By airing your doubts, fears, and worries, by looking at them and seeing them for what they are, so you can conquer them and rid yourself of them forever. By refusing to confront them, so they gain power over you, and become even more deeply rooted. After you realise what they are - release them.

22. Failure: It is very rare for us to fail. We only ever choose to stop trying. That is us exercising our free will. We can stop trying any time we wish, but those that succeed never stop until they get to their goal. Success often does not come easy, and does require work and effort from us. You will find that most 'overnight successes' have been working hard for that success for many years. Failure is not something to be feared or worried about, because we can never fail! Everything we do, no matter whether we view it as a success or failure is a valuable lesson for us to learn. By looking at a perceived failure as a valuable lesson, it no longer feels as bad. The only true failure is not learning the lessons our mistakes teach us.

23. The Ongoing Journey: Our journey of exploration through life never, ever stops. The destination is not the reward or the goal. The journey to the destination is the goal itself.

24. Don't Mind: If we take an objective view of our mind, then we can see that lots of thoughts drift through it, many of which we are unaware of. A sad, angry or fearful thought may drift up from the sub-conscious and change how we feel for no apparent reason. We must take control of the mind through tools such as meditation, and become aware of these thoughts and realise them for what they are. Then, we can let them go and stay relaxed and centred. By consciously focussing on our breathing, and keeping it deep and even, we can help to release these negative thoughts.

25. Emotions: Emotions come and go. They flow through us all the time, often without us even realising. Many of us do not express our emotions because we feel we have to "Be manly" or "Be responsible" or "Be cool". When we feel the negative emotions, we can feel our bodies tense. If we do not express these emotions when we feel them, the tension is stored within our bodies. Having emotions is not to be feared and should be celebrated. When you feel an emotion - express it! If you are happy - smile and laugh, if you are sad cry. Expressing your emotions releases the tension they give, and helps you live more fully in the here and now. Once you have expressed an emotion, it is gone and will not return with the same force for that situation. If we refuse to express them and store the emotions up, then, like damming a fast river, eventually the water level will rise too high if we do not provide it with an outlet.

26. Play: As children, we play exuberantly. We have fun, enjoy ourselves and have lots of energy. Then something happens, we grow up, and we no longer play believing that adults have to be adult and they don't play. Playing is one of our greatest sources of pleasure. It takes many forms, from sport to games to laughing and joking with friends. Playing increases our energy and makes us more positive. It makes those around us more positive and generally lifts the spirits of all involved. There are times to be serious, yes, but there are times to play too, and that is what we must not forget.

Catholic voters need to rethink morality

title:Catholic Voters Need to Rethink Morality

author:Peter Mennona, Jr.

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_1491.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



If Catholic doctrine calls for the sanctity of all human life, then why is it that church leaders implicitly endorse Republican candidates that are pro-life at the expense of all else. In fact, the sanctity of life doctrine stands directly in opposition to the death penalty as well as abortion. Nevertheless, The Tablet, the official weekly newspaper of the Diocese of Brooklyn, is far more enamored with abortion than the death penalty and our President who executed approximately 30 people as the governor of Texas in 1999. At least once a year, Catholic churches around the Diocese of Brooklyn celebrate a special, sanctity of life Sunday Mass. What this amounts to is a largely elderly audience receiving a sermon on the evils of abortion. In itself this is not wrong; however, priests would be better off encouraging their flock to support unwed, single women who choose life. The problem with pro-life conservatives is that while they despise abortion, once the children are born they are unwilling to use public money to support these brave women. According to CNN, Catholics voted for President Bush over Senator John Kerry by a 51 to 48 percent vote. A closer look at George W. Bush’s beliefs and policies make this fact perplexing to say the least.

Bush is a Born-Again Christian, who most likely believes that his way is the only way. Therefore, if you are not Born-Again, then you are not saved and cannot go to heaven after death. This means Catholics can expect to languish in hell for all eternity no matter how virtuous their deeds. From the Born-Again perspective, no matter how hard one tries to be a good human being, it is only by God’s divine grace that we’re saved. Read Jonathan Edwards sermon “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” for the Bush perspective on human works. Remember Bush’s speech during his first Presidential election campaign at the openly anti-catholic Bob Jones University? Bob Jones University is the same University that prohibited interracial dating until this rule became public fodder. Is Bob Jones University the type of organization that Catholics want their President to be affiliated with?

And what about social justice? President Bush opposes a living wage; meaning, hard working Americans should toil away to live in poverty. Meanwhile, the underemployed are deprived healthcare. The United States is the only nation in the G-8 without national medical care. If you have money, the U. S. does offer the best healthcare in the world. The problem is that millions are without that money or insurance. Is there anything more un-Christian than denying the sick healthcare, or forcing the working poor into bankruptcy to receive proper healthcare. According to Congressman Pete Stark, “Our lack of a guaranteed health care safety net indirectly plunges millions into bankruptcy and financial ruin who, once sick, cannot afford to pay for their high medical treatment costs out-of-pocket.”

Catholics can no longer be single-issue voters; voting solely on the basis of a candidate’s position on abortion is plain immoral. Catholics need to be vocal inside and outside of church about the neo-con agenda to dismantle the New Deal and Great Society programs that provide a modest safety net for Americans. Respect for the sanctity of life means protecting and caring for the unborn as well as the living. Morality is more than talking a good game. That’s symbolism over substance. True morality is implemented through innovated social policy that helps all Americans.

Joy is sexy

title:Joy Is Sexy

author:Irene Segal

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_1013.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



Joy is sexy because in embracing our joy, we embrace our positive energy and power. Joy is always there, waiting to be reclaimed. It is the bridge between living life by default and embracing life by positive design. Get sexy this week and remember that no one can tell us what to think or feel. Events and other people cannot steal our access to personal joy unless we decide to give up our personal power.

Before we can exercise our innate power to feel and express joy, we have to recognize what joy is and is not. The seedbed for our joy lies not in what we are doing, or acquiring but in what we are being. True joy is a state of personal wonder and power that comes from inside out. Our most creative and innovative work happens when we are working with a sense of joy that transcends space and time and empowers us to be the best we can be. When we are working and living with our joy, in the flow of positive purpose, we also touch the true success, abundance and satisfaction we desire

Sadly, joy is something that we often forget to access. We grow up, grow busy and forget that joy that is a gift that is available to each human being. As adults we reach joyful states by being in the present moment, but the hustle and bustle of life often leaves us with few such moments of joy. Many of us are unable to access personal joy other than in moments of physical ecstasy when we are all living in the present moment and sharing a positive expression of joy with our partner. Physical ecstasy is wonderful, but it is always fleeting. How can we access a sense of personal joy, touch the personal realm of positive emotion when we choose to?

Joy starts with our ability and our decision to let go of negativity, to cling to the positive, to appreciate the present moment, to not be distracted by the past or what we envisage the future holding.

We cannot be joyful all the time, but we can grow our joy muscles, our ability to attain a joyful state that transcends what we are doing and embraces our being. Get sexy with your life; decide to embrace a state of personal joy and appreciation. Remember that joy is not something that we have to learn, it is a personal power that we all had at birth and in childhood. It is an ability that we always have the power to recultivate and regain.

Imagine if you could take just one day this week and embrace all that is positive, and put negativity on hold for 24 hours and be one with your sense of personal joy, and power.

How would you feel? How would a positive focus impact your thoughts and your actions and words to others?

What would your joy day look like?

Take one day this week and decide to experience Just Joy. Take a day off from needs and fears, just operate from positive preferences. Learn to say no to what you do not want, and embrace what you do want.

1. Decide to cultivate each moment with positivity. If this is hard find a personal tool that works for you. i. e. put an elastic band on your left wrist, and when you feel yourself moving from the present moment, or falling into negativity give yourself a little tap with your elastic, not to hurt yourself but to refocus your thoughts on the fact that you have decided to take a Just Joy Day and to put negativity on hold.

2. Energize yourself by not letting people who are negative, draining or demanding steal your personal power, your joy.

3. Learn to be aware of your negative feelings, but to also be able to put these feelings on hold and enjoy a Just Joy day.

4. Let go of all the things that block personal joy like ego, negativity, fear. Let them go for 24 hours.

5. Share something joyful with another person, and see joy grow!

6. Focus on what is really important, focus on the positive in your life and work and how to share positive thoughts with others.

Enjoy a positive experiment, recognize that joy is sexy. Decide not to let anything or anyone get you down for 24 hours. End your day thinking about what you have learned and shared. Write to me about your Just Joy experiment! © 2004 Irene Segal

Bite your tongue 10 ways to be an effective listener

title:Bite Your Tongue! 10 Ways to Be an Effective Listener

author:Joy Fisher-Sykes

source_url:http://www. essayabc. com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_2026.shtml

date_saved:2007-07-25 12:30:18



Have you ever spoken to someone and then felt the need to say, “Did you hear what I just said?” Why did you feel the need to ask? Probably because the listener didn’t provide you with the feedback you needed to know you were heard.

Listening is the most important, yet often most neglected, communication skill. In fact, the ability to listen is often rated one of the top five abilities employers seek in their staff. It’s also certainly highly sought after in the people nearest and dearest to our hearts.

Here are 10 ways to be an effective listener:

Recognize the difference between hearing and listening

There is a very distinct difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is to merely perceive sound.

Listening is the mindful, conscious act and desire to hear, comprehend, and response to others.

Be willing to listen

Begin with a commitment to listen - be open minded and consider other points of view.

Listen regardless of whether you agree or disagree with what’s said. Resist the urge jump to conclusions; be defensive or argumentative with the speaker.

Be attentive

Stop what you’re doing and give the speaker your undivided attention. If it’s not a good time for you, defer the conversation.

Ignore the desire to multi-task and selectively listen (only listening to bits and pieces of information).

Remain in the moment for the duration of the conversation

don’t tune in and out or pretend to be listening when you’re really thinking about where to go on your next vacation.

Show respect

Acknowledge others with your body language - face the speaker, look interested, and make eye contact.

Avoid ending the conversation abruptly.


Be sensitive, compassionate, and understanding – realize it may be difficult for the speaker to talk about this matter.

Empathy doesn’t mean you have to agree with the speaker.

Avoid thinking about how to “one up” the speaker with your own tale of woe.

Be patient

We often interrupt because we are afraid we will forget our point(s). Don’t interrupt - allow the speaker to finish what she/he has to say.

Don’t’ finish the speaker’s sentences because you think they’re taking too long to get to the point.

Focus on what is being said instead of what you think is going to be said.

Eliminate interruptions and distractions

When possible, speak in a neutral location to avoid interruptions and distractions.

Be aware of and avoid interruptions – phones or pagers (use voice mail), visitors (close the door) and distractions (voice mail light, overflowing in box, incoming mail).

Seek Understanding

Focus on main points.

Paraphrase and seek clarification of points that are unclear or that you don’t understand.

Show you’re actively listening

Listen with more than just your ears. Acknowledge and respond to the speaker with facial expressions (smile, nod/shake your head, eye contact) and verbal comments (“I see,” “I understand,” “okay,” “yes”) to aid the conversation.

Simply Listen

Sometimes our idea of listening is to jump in and give unwanted advice. Listening is not an open invitation to resolve a dilemma. Just listen because often the speaker simply seeks a sympathetic ear.

Whether you are a manager or employee, husband or wife, parent or child, pastor or parishioner, friend or foe, listening is critical to the success of your relationships. Take the time to truly listen to others and discover you’ll not only improve your relationships, you will achieve a new level of overall success in your life. Apply these techniques today so you can enjoy a better tomorrow!

By Joy Fisher-Sykes © 2005 All Rights Reserved

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